Search Results: being fake in a relationship

I want a boyfriend but I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want anyone to touch me ever. I hate the feeling of anyone touching me. But sometimes I do wanna cuddle and stuff but I hate being touched at the same time. I'm pretty evil and can't be nice 24/7. I'm honest AF 24/7. Which can seam rude. I am not mean when it comes to physically hurting unless you start. I don't like humans they are disgusting and evil and I'm better than most people because most people are fake. I'm also evil but the difference is that I'm evil to evil most people are evil to nice. I am planning to die alone. And leave my fucked up family. But I don't know about the die alone part. I do get attracted to guys and want a relationship but I can't be close to anyone and I hate touching. As soon someone gets close I back I can't be in a relationship they are all fake. I used to be nice but traumas changes that. And also I would kill my partner if he cheated on me or tried to kill me/rape me. But I would like to cuddle and stuff sometimes and them not touch at all sometimes it's so confusing.

Obs! And don't suggest therapy or psychology because I've been to like 10 of them and they all sucked. If you do you will be blocked and your comment will be removed.

Me and my now x-boyfriend (of 2 and a half years) got into a big argument about him not meeting all my family
He thinks im not being serious
he's had 3 previous girlfriends but im the first girl out of all of his exes that he introduced to his WHOLE family

Im his longest relationship too
And he's my longest too

And he's always the one more affectionate and always the one initiating calling every night before bed
And he's always the one talking when we are together
But im quiet person in general
And he wanted to move in together and wake up to me every morning but I couldnt move out because of my situation at the moment
And i have super trust issues and insecurities from my past relationship and then i put it on him
And then he got fed up

So anyway he decided to break up with me because he thinks we are not compatible and lost interest in me
And i was so heartbroken!

I've been there for him all the time though
And supported him
And he has met my parents and siblings
And introduced him to my friends circle when he doesn't have much friends

Then i said "u never appreciated me"
And he said "maybe i never had feelings for you"
That was a stab in my heart.

Can someone really fake a relationship for over 2years?
And never had feelings?