Search Results: boyfriend helped me feel better

I have been together with him for 3 years. We went through MANY ups and downs together and currently in a LDR. The past few days I've been thinking of breaking up with him because I think he deserves better. Also, I think I am the one with the issues here and I'm talking about - jealousy, insecurity yada yada, you name it. Honestly, I'm scared of losing him, because I'm still so in love with him and I know he feels the same way too.

It's just that lately we have been constantly fighting, even the smallest thing. But by the next morning we would apologised to one another and carry on with our day. Then before our routine night calls, I would start having weird thoughts again, thinking he's with someone else.. and I start questioning him if he's cheating on me, which made him upset and started raising his voice asking me why would I asked such stupid question.

See. I'm the one with the issue right? I know I sound so stupid. I love him but I am just not good for him. And I don't know why am I like this. What if I made the wrong decision? Please help.

I need advice, please.

I've been living here in the US for three years, im from an Asian country. (graduating high school student now). I moved here because of my mom, together with my 2 other siblings. my mom and dad are separated, so we all had to leave my dad behind (which breaks my heart every time I miss him by the way, and I always do).

I did see my dad last 2018. I went home for only a month.
ever since I've been here I've never really been myself. I thought I just had to give it time, and thought maybe if I made friends it will make things better, but it didn't. Everything is actually good, I think, thats why I dont know why I feel this way.

Im just gonna make this shorter, my mom and I had a big fight yesterday. She said some things out of anger. One of those things is her telling me it would be better for everybody if I went home to our home country. She knows how happier I'd be if I was home. also since I've been here I've always been easily irritated, upset, basically a pain in her life and my siblings.

I never planned on going home until she said it, but once she did, I realized then and there that it really is what I want- but I dont know if it is what's best for me. I thought once I moved here I will be here for good. I mean, its America, some people from other countries work hard to get to live here. I talked to my dad about it, he said he's always there for me if I ever decide to go home. also my boyfriend lives back in my home country too

so pros are- my dad won't be alone anymore, I would no longer be in an ldr, I would be happier, I would get to see my closest and oldest friends. (I will continue studying there)

cons- I'll leave my mom behind, I might be ruining my future and miss a lot of opportunities.

pros outweigh the cons, but I still dont know what to fucking do. a part of me knows its best to stay, but a part of me also knows I will never be contented.
If i ever decide to go home I can come back here in the country later in time