Search Results: not cute enough

In August, me and my bestie admitted to liking each other. He then told me he wanted a relationship with me and he loves me.
I’m a lesbian but since developing feelings for him, I don’t know what I am anymore. I’ve just got to the point of not wanting a label. I am who I am.
We’ve both slept with each other twice since admitting our feelings and we’ve also had massive arguments, as you can imagine.
Recently he’s all that’s crossing my mind, I’m thinking about him far too much. I keep showing people pictures of him and saying ‘how cute is he?’, that’s how bad I’m getting haha.
I have three reasons for not wanting a relationship with him: 1) I’ve never properly dated a man before (it’s scary). 2) what if I miss sleeping with girls and go out and cheat on him? It would be unintentional but I just know how much I prefer girls. 3) what if it ruins our friendship? I don’t want to lose my best friend.
I’ve told him all this and he said ‘I’ll give you permission to sleep with girls whenever you want. I won’t let it ruin our friendship, nothing will ruin it. We can take it slowly until you’re used to it’.
He always gives me reassurance but i just feel like that’s not enough. The thought of dating a man is really scary.
I’ve even deliberately invited him around my house today, telling him I want help decorating my room. When in reality, I just want to see him.
He’s suggested just an open relationship to me in the past and I told him no, it’s a bad idea. But with all these thoughts, I’m thinking maybe it isn’t a bad idea after all.
I’m going to tell him today but my problem is, is it a good idea?
I want more then friendship but I don’t want it to jeopardise it.
Please give your honest opinions!!

I know most of you will say you dont believe in leagues but we’re going to discuss it anyways. If i’m being 100% honest, if i feel someones out of my league, its likely because i dont see myself working to get to their level. For example, if i got all dolled up and Brad Pitt took me on a date, I’d end it with “I had a great time but you're so out of my league.” I say that because 99% of the time, I’m going to be dressed in sweats and walking around with that “i just woke up” bed hair 😂 I’m not willing to make the efforts to get on his level in the long run, so I may as well say he’s out of my league, send him on his way, and save him from my lack of efforts since I’m not willing to change. Now lets say, he likes me for the tomboy i am. Its happened before. But i dont fully trust they’ll stay happy. I liked this guy Robbie in college. He was 9/10 gorgeous. Dude looked like a model but he liked plain jane ole ME. However, I overheard comments he made to other guys about how cute he found the girls covered in makeup and wearing dresses. It was clear that my lack of efforts to appear more feminine would mean that I’d never truly be enough for him. So why waste my time if i refuse to be that girly girl that he would find MORE attractive in the long run. So i quit pursuing him 🤷‍♀️ I had an ex who told me “youre too much” and literally followed up with the fact that he didn't want to get a job and do his part in the relationship. He said he wanted to let his parents take care of him as long as possible so that he could sit around and play games all day. See he wanted me to stay but that warning was a way to save me from himself. I say take it with a grain of salt and see the statement as a compliment rather than just someone being insecure.
#FeelFreeToList #OutOfMyLeague