Search Results: no spark at a date

Let's be real, we all have our good features and bad features about ourselves but I like to believe that for most of us our plusses outweigh our flaws. However, there's a lot of people out there that struggle to get dates and into relationships despite being all-around good people. We all know there are two sides to the attraction coin; a physical and emotional connection are both needed to create or sustain attraction. But unlike physical attraction, which develops pretty quickly, emotional connections take longer to develop because you need to see multiple aspects of the person's personality to really get a feel for them. Something that can't really be achieved in the span of a couple dates. And yet people are dismissed as potential relationships because there was no "spark" in such a short period of time, and because of this, a lot of great people are either dismissed or never given a chance in the first place.

So back to the question title: why do you think people don't want to date you?

A) Do you think it's because people are too impatient and don't want to try to see your great personality through all the initial awkwardness and nervousness that often accompanies getting to know someone new?

B) Or do you think its because you don't put yourself out there enough and allow other people the chance to see what a great person you are?

C) Or do you think you're just ass ugly and no amount of a great personality could ever compensate for the utter lack of physical attraction?

Obviously these aren't mutually exclusive but I just wanna get a feel from everyone. For me it's definitely A and B. My personality's the type that grows on you gradually over time instead of being immediate. I just think a lot of people don't have the patience for gradual and want immediate.

Anyways, give me yo answers.

Ok I've posted before here for advice about my now ex girlfriend. So here's the deal a few weeks ago me and my ex of 1 and half years broke up. She fed me the whole distance and spark was gone deal at first right. So I took that at face value figured their was something else that was an issue but left it alone cause I waiting for her to vocalize what it was. Fast forward a week and half I get a FB message from a former close friend of hers saying she basically cheated throughout the whole duration of our relationship. Me fucking pissed called her to finally get the truth still giving her the benefit of the doubt. Later that night she calls me says she did in fact cheat on me at this party like 2 months ago but tells me the FB message is far more exagerated. At this point Im devastated because I loved her with everything cared for her like no one before has and for her to do it shit killed me. My biggest issue was the fact she didn't have the courage to tell me with so many opportunities beforehand for example the last time I saw her she came to my house to get all her stuff I asked to to sit down and talk with me cause I knew her first reasoning wasn't the full truth. NOPE! She Leaves and I kinda start getting over it.

Ok now fast forward another week and half which is today feeling much better she calls me telling me her reason for cheating was cause she thought she could get away with it. Goes on to say there were 2 other times she cheated so now the story has changed again! Forgot to mention she tells me about how she slept with a dude after we broke up didn't really care but thinks she might be pregnant now doesn't know if its mine or his 😑 and Im just like wow now you're gonna be linked to someone who you dont even love for the rest of your life good job. so we got off the cheating topic and she says she misses me loves me and wants me to go on a date with her and I'm just like... WHAT? 😑

It sucks cause I do still love and care for her but the pregnant thing kills it😕