Search Results: too soon to move on

I wanted to watch some PG-13 movie when I was 11. All of my friends were allowed to. But no, I couldn't be exposed to anything that might "warp my fragile little mind".

They were still reviewing the lyrics of songs before they let me buy them when I was 15 FUCKING YEARS OLD.

In high school, I wanted to play football. The coach at my school was very safety-oriented, & my parents knew him & liked him. But no, their precious little baby couldn't possibly ever do anything the least bit dangerous.

& a billion other things like that. My friends were playing a game with toy guns when I was 15, but could I play? No, because "guns are serious & shouldn't be a game" - my beloved smother.

As soon as I can move out, I will. I'll start chain-smoking, knowing that it would destroy my parents to know that Iwas breathing pure cancer into my lungs multiple hours every day.

As soon as I live alone & have the money to buy alcohol, I'll be the cheapest vodka I can find & drink until I black out every night that I don't have work the next day. & if one day, I don't wake up, I don't really care. Oblivion is all I crave.

I'll play football now, but unlike if I had done it at school, I won't wear a helmet or any other protective gear. I'd love to get a concussion, & then call up my mom & tell her that I got when & tell her exactly why.

When I have the money, I will buy a motorcycle, & always ride it with no helmet. Yes, I could die or become a vegetable, no, I don't care.

You tried to overprotect me, mom and dad? Well, watch me completely neglect myself. Watch me total my life. Watch me not care. Who's in charge now, huh? Who is powerless now?

I've even considered joining the army. Of course, it would take at least one year, probably two to get in shape so that I would be accepted, & I would have to start eating healthier, too, which doesn't appeal, & I've heard that basic training is difficult.

But still, maybe if I came home in a body bag, my parents would finally understand.