Search Results: being open with boyfriend

I've been in only one relationship before... And it ended pretty horribly so I must not know how to be a proper girlfriend yet. But anyways, this is my story so far.

Me and this guy got together on discord after meeting each other for a few days... I don't know why but I guess we really hit it off. He was the one to be shy whenever we met and friended each other. He came to the group chat I was on because he liked another girl which is my online bestfriend. I ain't going to say names because I don't know who's reading this...

So, anyways. Me and my friend did a reverse tug of war around him because we both cared so much about each other and how the other was feeling. And everytime I texted him... I just felt guilty until something happened. He thought my friend was married, so he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I responded with a yes...

The thing was that I couldn't manage to text him... Being way too shy. That's just how I am in a relationship for the first part. And he told me he was upset one time... But it was pretty vague so I had to keep trying to pick up on what he'd said.

That was until soon I told my other online friend who'm I trusted his word ever since the first time, he was gay. And I know people of all sexualities so I ain't meaning anything against it! Many gay people that I know are always so happy and fun to be around. So I didn't feel guilty going to him because I knew that he only cared about me as a friend.

And that's where I got my confidence to speak to my partner about all of this and apologize... And I do apologize a lot. Especially online because the first time you meet me is actually how I really am. I'm way too submissive and happy and... Caring also clingy. But it doesn't seem like he's going to open up... I've searched up so many things on how to help my boyfriend feel happy and all the stuff I could think about for dating. He seems to still like my Bestfriend which I still ship. What did I do wrong? Please tell me...

I think it's so unfair , my instagram is opened in his cellphone , I accidentally left it opened and he doesn't wanna close it. He blocked me because he says he was tired that I blocked him when i got mad , but things are okay now , I blocked him because he was being aggressive , and we were fighting and i wanted him to shut the fuck up , that's why I blocked him. But now I hate that he is blocking me because it makes me think he hidessomething, he may be talking to a girl , he is actually my ex , but we've agreed loyalty. When I broke up with him I was angry at him , I ignored him for almost 2 months and I fucked other guys, he didn't like the number of guys and at first I lied I said 1, 2 and then 4. So when we got back and he found out and got very hurt, 1 month later I found out he was texting with another girl , they've only kissed. He said he did it bc I told him I didn't want anything with him in the future and because he was hurt bc of the lies, but that didn't mean that I was going to look for other men like he did , I would first break up with him. He said he would never talk to her again. And he says he is not talking to her , but the fact that he blocked me makes me wonder , because he still followed her on Instagram and liked his pics and once I got mad at him and told him and he didn't give a fuck , he still followed her on instagram and probably still like her photos, but that's why I wanna check his Instagram, because I wanna know about that girl , I wanna know if he still followers her and likes her pictures. I feel so insecure this way. Tomorrow I will tell him that if he doesn't unblock me on Instagram I will block him on WhatsApp, but I'm afraid of what he could say, I would hate it if he doesn't care , and probably he won't obey me since he always thinks he is right. What the fuck do I do. I'm tired of suspecting. But I can't leave my ex now , I feel so lonely and he is the only one there , and I still love him but it hurts to suspect of him.