I keep finding hair that’s not mine in my boyfriends room. I have dark brown short hair. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 14 months now. Over the past 6 months I’ve found a blond hair once on his pillow and a Once a blond hair on his dresser and once in his car in the. I also have found probably 20 pieces of blond hair on his floor and I confront him every single time. The first few times he laughs and says he has no idea but now that we’ve fought about this about 20 times he gets quite. Says he has no idea and it could be a, b or c but he doesn’t care because it has nothing to do with him. To be fair, he has a roommate who has had 3 or 4 different girls at the apartment weekly who are all blond. But could it really be carried into his room that much? If it wasn’t for the constant hair, I wouldn’t think he was cheating. He’s very open with his phone, and I’ve gone through everything before and found nothing. He involves me with his family. He always answers his phone no matter when I call him and we text frequently when we aren’t together. Am I just being paranoid? Help! P. s his roommate knows I make a fuss about this so I wonder if he plants hairs to be funny. He is a cruel person and he’s made jokes to my face about my obsession with the hair!

[Anonymous]

Lol this is ironic.. A guy friend once told me he found a long blond hair wrapped around his penus! he didn't even have a girlfriend and lives alone with his Chrisian mom with dark brown hair.

Stop making an issue out of nothing! have peace and enjoy the guy. Hair gets caught up and transferred so easily and nowadays all women are blond for some reason. Why living like this? if you catch him cheating next month then leave but until then stop harassing the guy. What are you expecting as an outcome of these fights? do you expect him to admit just to shut you up? are you pushing him away to cheat? because apparently the man said he is not cheating and that did not bring him peace with you.

I am not being mean but if you can't trust him then leave and be at peace and let him be too. Otherwise stay and just let the hair thing go. Men rarely admit to cheating anyway so this thing your doing is pointless. And you can't interrogate a man into your arms. Love him and enjoy your relationship and if he cheats bounce! Don't be that insecure crazy lady men always talk about.

[Kipperbo1]

i’m not completely sure. but i think if he was cheating, his housemate would try to cover his ass and avoid the subject as opposed to making jokes about it

[Yuciel]

When my roommate has a female friend or date coming over, we don't really avoid each other at all costs.

Sometimes, we chill in his room.. Sometimes in my room (that includes my bed, watching TV or playing games).. We eat together.. We sometimes drive around, using my car.. So, of course I sometimes find hairs in my room / car / etc that don't necessarily belong to me.

I'm surprised that the two of you are still a thing. If my girlfriend went nuts about something like this, to the point where she brings it up 20 times, looks through my phone, practically calling me a cheater.. She'd be my ex.

Trust in a relationship is one of the most important things and in you, that's basically non existent.

Being accused of cheating when you don't fucking hurts.. Let me tell you that. If you're right, he's a dick.. Sure. But if you don't know, then don't say stuff like that.

[Asker]

His roommate generally only has girls over when my boyfriend leaves to come to my house. Otherwise he doesn’t bring his hookups around during the day when my boyfriend is home. My boyfriend actually avoids when his roommate has anyone over, especially a girl. He will hide out in his room because he is so introvert. Knowing his personality, he wouldn’t hang out with his roommate and his random hookup of the week

[Yuciel]

Fair enough. Still, hair laying around the house isn't really too out of the ordinary.

Hook-up visits bath and looses hair -> boyfriend visits bath and steps into said hair -> boyfriend carries said hair around and eventually looses it somewhere that hook-up has never been.

I'm not saying that you're wrong by default. You may be right (I can't possibly tell) but I'd still ask of you to be a bit more careful with your words, concerning that topic.

My girlfriend has been cheated on by her ex, so she's been very paranoid at the start. I knew where she was coming from but being held responsible for someone else's mistakes and being mistrusted really really hurts if it's a wrong accusation.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. I’d be hurt too. He has actually cried last time saying he is exhausted fighting about it and he is the most stoic man I know. I don’t want to ruin the relationship but it’s becoming ridiculous how many of them I find in his room and it doesn’t stop. The only solution is me trust him. But when the hair pops back up I doubt it all over again.

[Asker]

I feel like if he was cheating he would’ve dumped me after the 3 or 4 conversation about it I don't know... he is a weird one though. Not like any man I’ve been with.

[Yuciel]

Well.. At a certain number it's quite understandable that you're starting to have doubts. I also can't tell you whether it's justified or not.

If he was actually cheating though.. Then after so many fights about the same topic, he would have to be the dumbest guy alive to still bring that girl to his room instead of just meeting anywhere else.

I wish I could tell you what's actually the truth but I can't. Just note that this relationship won't work out in the long run when both of you continue like that.

I mean.. He could just use a vacuum cleaner after one of his roommate's hook up was there. There'd be so many possible solutions that require much less power than those constant fights.

[Asker]

I brought that up. I even vacuumed his room a couple times myself. He says he doesn’t even think about vacuuming and he isn’t gonna vaccuum every time before I come over. He says he doesn’t ever see the blond hairs I see and is just surprised as me.

[Yuciel]

So you can't get over the hair and he's tired of that topic, however doesn't put any effort in to avoid it? If that's the case, I'm afraid that nothing will change.

[Asker]

Okay so I brought it up to him that he should just vacuum so it wouldn’t be a problem anymore and he said he’s too busy and he’s not vacuuming because that to him in a way It’s like admitting he’s being shady and it makes it seem like he’s trying to cover up something when he has nothing to hide... what do you think about that comment?

[Yuciel]

Well, he has a point but at the same time it sounds like an excuse. Also, this would be in his own interest as well, right?

In the end, the two of you have to find a way to deal with that situation which both of you can accept.

I can't simply tell you "Just don't doubt him" cause that won't change anything for you.. and since I don't know him, I also can't tell which solution would work and which wouldn't.

[simonqq]

Don't think it's possible to know for sure and I think if you feel like you can't trust him then something needs to change. Without trust there is no reason to have a relationship, I'm not saying to trust blindly though.

You are obviously feeling bad over this and your boyfriend can't really prove his innocence even if he wants to. So it's a tricky situation and I don't think any of us can say what's right to do. The trust issues has to change but how that will happen is up to you and your boyfriend.

[pepperhicks]

I am a guy who has cheated and this is the part of what you said that makes me think he is not cheating: "He’s very open with his phone, and I’ve gone through everything before and found nothing. He involves me with his family. He always answers his phone no matter when I call him and we text frequently when we aren’t together. " I have lived in a house (as friends) with up to four women with long hair, and it gets everywhere.

With that said, if you think he is deceptive and cruel, why be with him?

[Asker]

No his roommate is cruel because he makes jokes about me finding hair to my face. Not my boyfriend, he treats me good.

[pepperhicks]

Sorry, I see now that you wrote that the roommate might do this. I should have read more carefully. If my opinion still helps, I think the boyfriend deserves the benefit of the doubt.

[calthorpe]

Trust is important but not an easy thing in 2020. Your being paranoid is not okay, but you ought to be worried. As you have mentioned he seems clean, so you need to play with the benefit of doubt here. Take care and I hope he doesn't betray you. P. S for the friend, keep a check on him, maybe he's, fucking with ya.

[Asker]

I’ve asked him once if he has been pulling a prank on me months ago and he said he wasn’t getting involved in the issue

[calthorpe]

Maybe he's true, maybe not. Don't trust anyone. Just enjoy time with your boyfriend while it lasts.

[andreasderjuengere]

''the girlfriend'' and the ''one single hair''
... :D heh heh heeeh
Do you really think that only YOU have been there?
Experience: it doesn't matter what we (the boys) say. Only you will be right; and only you can make a decision how it's going to be continued (or not).
In his favour: yes - there must have been a blonde girl around the place; that does not mean that he had inevitably mounted her.

[Asker]

It’s not just one hair. It’s been easily something that has happened at least 20 times

[andreasderjuengere]

But this is what I meant?

[Sleevey]

Maybe he’s a cross dresser. Look for the blond wig. Or he’s cheating and you should cut your losses.

[Asker]

Lol those are the only two possibilities? 😂

[KrakenAttackin]

You sound like a pain in the ass... hunting for hair, going through his phone, etc. I would dump you in a heart beat.

[Asker]

I’m a huge pain in the ass :)

[KrakenAttackin]

Than your boyfriend should dump you immediately. There is an old adage, "never stick your dick in crazy", which is something apparently no one ever told your boyfriend.

[Asker]

Well said Kraken!

[magiusX26]

do he and his roomie wash their clothes together? if so it could partially be hair being transfered from roomie date to roomie to boyfriend via laundry. then add in transfer from the floor and furniture in rest of house.

[Asker]

They do not! He actually does his laundry at his moms house when he goes over for dinner. She’s a red head though

[Gedaria]

This is funny, i was putting my coat away the other night and I found 2 long blonde hairs on the arm. My daughters ere dark br plus their hair is no way long enough.
It's amasing how much hair women she'd..

[yenofed840]

stay away from him for a few days. If he is honest with you, he will chase you other wise you will know about it than wasting time.

[ross_galler]

No need to hasitate talk about that directly if he gets angry may be he is hiding something. After all no one wants to marry cheater or lier you still have time to build your relationship

[Asker]

We’ve talked about it plenty. Sometimes he gets upset because I believe he is tired talking about it. But mostly he seems to try and stay calm so it doesn’t escalate

[chriscdi]

you goin all CSI on his ass but I don't know what to say lol

[Anonymous]

Tl, Dr
Hair can come from anywhere... it could attach to his shirt at work and get carried to his house.
Someone at work is likely shedding.

[Asker]

Except he hasn’t been to work in 2 or 3 months because of covid

[Opinion Owner]

Has he left the house?

[Asker]

To come see me and his parents a few times a week. Otherwise he doesn’t have friends he hangs out with.

[Opinion Owner]

Does anyone in his family have hair?

honestly, If i ever had a female go though my phone because she has no trust, she would be gone.
Not because there is anything to hide but because it childish, petty, and controlling.

[Asker]

Not blond hair.

[Opinion Owner]

Csi miami... you are being paranoid.

[zagor]

Does he have a Golden Retriever?

[Asker]

No he doesn't

[Desno]

Strike him hard, you got nothimg to loose

[ovixs90]

Maybe its your cat or dog hair😂

[Fuentes]

He's doing something

[Asker]

How come I can’t find anything else then? No other behavioral signs? I go through his phone when he doesn’t even know, I feel bad... but I’ve been through emails, texts, call logs, pictures, Snapchat and even recent snapchats. Can’t find any proof other than hair? I don’t know what to believe at this point

[Fuentes]

Easy the giros come over through his friends and who knows he probs names the girls one of his friends name on the contact list

[Asker]

Yeah I have thought of that. But He only has 2 guy friends who ever pop up in his phone because he is a loner. He doesn’t like hanging out with people like at all. It’s weird. And I see him texting them over his shoulder, I’m with him like all the time. I’m more thinking if anything he would like block the number when he’s around me then unblock it when he isn’t so he doesn’t receive texts from that person? That’s if it’s happening...

[Fuentes]

Maybe he's not cheating but baby they been kicking it in his room, maybe asking questions maybe he the wingman when his roomie smashing out another chick but needed him to chill with the friend cause that's the only way she was coming over

[phatdrummer650]

Color your hair