Would you dump someone if they kept comparing you to someone else?

[Finchie40]

Me personally thinks it’s disrespectful to compare someone period , I have dumped girls’ that compared me to other guys’ if someone can compare you it means they don’t respect you , Agree or disagree?

[Mr_twoface]

I would say it depends. If the comparisons are frequent and negatively affect your well-being or self-perception, it might be a significant issue. However, they might also just be trying to motivate you to become better at something (either based on their experience or knowing that you have the potential to become better). I see no reason to dump someone unless you have communicated about it. Which bring me to the question, have you communicated how this makes you feel? Sometimes, partners may not realize the impact of their words and may be willing to change once they understand. Other aspects to consider is how is the relationship otherwise? If this is the only issue and everything else is strong, you might opt to work through it together. However, if it's part of a broader pattern of disrespectful behaviour, it could be a red flag.

Ending a relationship is a personal decision and should be based on a comprehensive view of the relationship's health and how much their behaviour affects your happiness and self-worth.

[Finchie40]

Yes, i express my feelings of concern to her first , and let her know how it makes me feel , pretty much letting her know , that I feel disrespected by her words , and ask her, how would she feel , if I was comparing her to other girls constantly? If things don’t change from there on out for the better , my ass is moving on from her , without giving it a second thought. There is only so much disrespect you can take from someone that claims they love and care about you , sadly That isn’t love , that is mental abuse , someone that truly loves you , will not compare you to anyone , when someone can compare you? that means they don’t value or respect you , they just like the convenience of you , and what they can gain from you My advice is to never be a convenience to anyone , life is too short to settle for someone that clearly doesn’t value you or appreciate you, walk away and find yourself someone that values and respects you the same way you do to them. Sadly so many people end up in relationships with people , that they shouldn’t be in a relationship with period. You can’t expect someone to be respectful to you , if you can’t be respectful to them , it needs to go both ways or you are just wasting your time thinking this person actually loves you and appreciates you. They only love and appreciate themselves and what is best for themselves, kick them to the curb where they belong

[Mr_twoface]

All your points are valid and makes total sense. Since you seem to have expressed yourself and she hasn't reciprocated by stopping herself, then you should move on. There is truly no reason for you to even consider staying for another second. You, just anyone else, deserve to be happy and respected. She clearly doesn't treat you that way, so break it off, and enjoy your life!

[lightbulb27]

Id definitely take caution to it and try ti figure out what is going on.


People are going to compare


I conpare my wife to my girlfriend and others and it makes me appreciate my wife more for her qualities. But i acoid going the negative route and finding flaws. Thats more communication about needs.


If someone complains all the time comparing me to another then im not good enough, it feel bad and that needs fixed ir move on. Any emotional link break fast.


If you keep drawing the ‘queen of spades from the deck’ then ya gotta look in the mirror at the chooser…

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I assume you mean that she is constantly bringing up other guys in her past and comparing you to them. If she is nostalgic about a previous boyfriend and critical about you, then it's a clear indicator she isn't ready to move on. I think it's a red flag even if you are regularly, positively compared to a previous boyfriend and here's why. If the relationship doesn't work out, guess who gets bashed to the next guy she dates? You. A few comparisons is fine, constant comparison is not*. Negative talk about others is a big red flag, in my opinion. Always consider the possibility that you'll be next.

*I think I have particular insight here because I'm a widow, and from my perspective, comparison is off-limits. I would not even go there, because it's not fair or healthy. Constant comparison indicates trauma and lack of closure.

[Finchie40]

I agree , it’s clearly disrespectful and something I don’t do to a girl that I like or I am interested in in , so a girl can do that to me? She isn’t the girl for me , she is best to invest her time and energy into the guy she is highly speaking of and leave my ass alone

[Boomchakalaca]

There are good comparing, lets get this straight.
Ex:
I compare u to the unethical 22 year old slob at work who does nothing to contribute to the team. On the other hand, you, 22, have an outstanding performance on customer satisfaction etc. have things going for you etc


Comparing someone who does mentally better than u can be good too.
Ex:
This woman is fitter because she exercises more and eats clean than me. This comparison i do not see as a bad side but a good indicator that i do need to change something to become better for myself.

[AviatorTom]

Depends on the comparison. If I'm always better, that's fine with me.

[HawkPerception]

If they compare in a good way (like saying I'm better) then no. It would still be irritating that they always bring up the comparison though.

If they compare negatively, then absolutely I dump them.

The truth is though, I always ask my partner if I outperformed their past partners in bed and ask for an honest answer.

[madewithingredients]

uh I doubt you'd ever get a truly honest answer.. I'm sure if they say it was good then they mean it was acceptable. If they say it was really good then I'd assume they mean good.

[HawkPerception]

Oh no... my partners have always been brutally honest with me. Sorry you haven't had that kind of honesty in your relationships though

[sage2021]

You use the word "dump" a lot in your questions and opinions. I just wish you would reconsider that people are not disposable like plastic eating utensils you use then dump it in the trash.

Now you know I Iike you and you definitely give great advice and opinions. So, please just take this as constructive criticism ok?🙂

[DishLady]

I was with a guy who did that -- comparing me to the one other girl he was ever serious about -- but he explained why he was doing it and it wasn't the dealbreaker for us. I don't mind a guy being honest and open with me. BUT if it becomes a situation where he's expecting you to be or do something like his ex... that's different and I'd probably be really upset because that's in his past and I'd think we'd figure our present out together.

[DrPepper12]

If it's to an ex and flattering to you - great! If not flattering it's a 🚩🚩🚩. If it's neutral but all she wants to talk about is her ex - bye Felicia. It may not be disrespect but obliviousness, selfishness, immaturity, etc

[Finchie40]

Exactly, it’s mainly a selfish trait that most people possess within in themselves by thinking they deserve better , instead of what’s right in front of them , They are sadly a selfish pos person that doesn’t deserve anyone , kick their ass to the curb where they belong

[Yazu-chan]

Yes. Simply put, if they wanted to be with the other person so much that they are comparing me to them, then why should be with them instead. I want to be with someone that wants me for me, and not looking for someone else in me.

[madewithingredients]

comparing? constantly? then I'd probably lose interest in the relationship.
if they pointed out things I could improve on, without comparing me, then i'd appreciate it.
The things my SO points out about me that aren't great are things I'm generally already aware of and they are things I already dislike about myself.

[molonski2]

I tend to agree , but as others have said it depends on the comparison , comparing you with someone outstanding , or some lazy fat arse slob?

But in essence the comparison is bullshit really , however say I was compared to a guy in my field ( either say work / sport ) and they were really doing well , I'd be happy to think in this instance , yeah , I can improve , and always happy to learn I guess.

[Nikki1989]

I might not dump, but I would be seriously annoyed. That is just as bad as rating someone out of 10, it is degrading and childish.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yes, that’s a super common tactic for manipulating and controlling someone: comparing them to someone else who meets a standard they can never achieve

[Misscouincouin]

so happy to see im not the only one hating being compared!! i wouldn't dump the person until its too often, then i would tell him to go with those he compare me with

[Chazmatazz269]

For sure. That’s called a “hangup”. They’re not over the other person yet. And if i fall short once, i’ll fall short forever. Any investment in that person is a complete waste of time, energy, and let’s be real here, if you’re a man, money.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah because it's stupid to compare me to someone who couldn't even make the cut and stay with her.

[NathanDavis]

no, I am way way smarter than that...

I don't get in relationships with people I don't know if I should just dump later

that's illogical to me

[nawtee_me]

Yes, I did not want to be in a threesome relationship because she hasn’t moved on from someone else.

[itsclearlynicholas]

👀👀🫢😋 the potential is there however I for one just find it far easier to just imagine a 'perfeft girlfriend' or 'perfect long term lover's and life's peachy :P

[IslaTheWitch]

comparing is something I take very hard... really hard... I wouldn't break up... but I would do everything to change his annoying habit...

[onedarkcloud]

I agree with you and I say they should be told to go back with the other person that they are comparing to you and not inflict their crap on the world.

[Finchie40]

Yea I don’t tolerate it to be honest , I think it’s disrespectful and rude , I don’t compare a girl to anyone that I give my heart to , if she can’t do the same in return for me , she isn’t the girl for me period , I will express my feelings of concern to her but if nothing changes , I leave her ass and say Good Luck on your quest to find your perfect man cuz I am going to find me a girl that actually has a heart.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I agree. but I don't think that's ever happened to me before.. No.. I'm sure it hasn't!

[hafinjun]

Whie yes I'm sure it's disrespectful
It's naive to believe it's not happening. If you wish to do better then I would think it a help to know what to change.

[sheenagwapa]

yep especially if i found out thst the one compared is uglier

[worldscolide]

Definitely, it's unfair to compare one person to another.

[Backgammon]

Comparing someone to another is mean. However, if you’re just pointing out something you like / don’t like about another person, and it’s only done every once in awhile, then I think that’s fine

[written_in-the-stars]

Absolutely, nobody should put-up with that kind of toxicity

[Account]

Yes.

[pethouse]

Yes, I hate being compared. Sense I was a kid I’ve been compared to others.

[laly520]

I would
no one deserves such treatment

[handsomelad70]

If it became wearying enough, yeah.

[MsProsperity]

For peace of mind, yes I’d dump him

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Only after we fucked.

[sheikalana]

Absolutly!

[Zbrody1997]

Yes. Just yes

[NetherlandsNar]

Yes I would