New relationship with someone healing from abuse: how do I handle this?

[ExplainItToMe]

Hello, I need some opinions. 🙂

I'm dating someone who has been my friend and coworker for about two years. We're both almost 30 and have officially been together for about 2½ weeks, so I know it's still very new.

She left an abusive 5-year relationship about a month before we got together. We had liked each other for a while, but we never crossed any boundaries while she was still with him.

Recently she told me she feels she entered a new relationship too quickly. I completely understand that. We agreed to slow everything down and remove any pressure or expectations. She struggles with intimacy because of her past, and the idea of being in a relationship still scares her. At first we were very affectionate, but when her trauma resurfaced she stopped enjoying physical closeness. She felt guilty and said I deserved better, but I told her she's who I want and that I don't want her to force herself for my sake.

I asked whether she'd rather be single while healing or stay together and take things at her pace. I told her I'd respect either choice because I care more about her well-being than rushing the relationship. She told me she wants to stay together, she doesn't want to throw us away.

After that I told her I'd give her space to focus on herself and not worry about me.

It's now been six days without any private contact, only group chats. That's where I'm struggling. I want to respect the space I offered, but the uncertainty is really painful. She also replies differently now—for example, when I used to say "I like you," she'd always say it back. The last time she only sent a kiss emoji. I know that might mean nothing, but because I'm uncertain about how she feels, I'm probably overthinking every little thing.

Has anyone been in a similar situation—either as the partner waiting, or as the person healing from an abusive relationship? How would you interpret this, and what would you do in my position?

[ohsheeT]

You handle it the same way you have been handling it you're there for her you be her friend

You let her open up to you when she wants to and you remind her you're too different people

And that he will never ever do it again because you won't allow it to happen

You tell her how much you like her and that you want her in your life

She doesn't have to forget what she went through But she does have to start all over And let that part go And the only way that she's going to be able to do that Is if you are A true friend You hold your hand you look into her eyes You tell her how you feel

[Chazmatazz269]

GTFO!
If she hasn’t worked through her baggage, she isn’t ready for another relationship. You can’t help her and she needs to focus on herself. Back out respectfully and give her the space she needs.
Remind yourself of the old adage. If she comes back, it’s meant to be.

[MountainMetal]

What you're feeling is normal, but as hard as it is you need to give her space. If you really love this woman she needs to come to you when she's ready I guarantee if you reach out or try to close the distance she will be pushed away. She is right, you do deserve better and hopefully she can heal and give you better and that requires you to give space and have patience.

[Micheal6918]

You just have to help the person to heal and be patient and caring to your partner. It won't be forever

[Alex-Snow]

Just take it very slow, let her call the shots and it is ok if she wants to talk about it or possible she will not want to say much about her past. Just be kind and caring and do not rush any sex.

[Anonymous]

What abuse are you meaning?