How do you deal with an emotionally abusive partner?

Question

maximumpower · Accepted Answer

figure out what drives them and then don't give them any fuel.
i put up with it for >20 years under the consideration that it would make a "happy wife." truth is that she got everthing and was/is still a miserable bitch.
now she's out of my life and STILL that way.
if you feel as though you can't escape, you're wrong.
pluck up the courage and GO. there are several means of escape that do not require family or friends. just be willing and able to make a clean break.

OddBeMe · Accepted Answer

Be abusive in turn. They see you as meek and target you because they are really cowards. Stand up and watch them run away.

Pinay_ako · Answer

You don’t! You gtfo fast 💨 before they abuse you physically! That’s gonna get worse

SkyCastle90 · Answer

(Recommended) Leave.

Obviously, the whole point of abuse is to control another person. If you're not ready to leave then the best way to go about it is to keep your identify and self-confidence, because abusers don't want you to think for yourself:

1. Have friends outside the relationship. Abusers like to isolate their partner so he/she/they don't have anyone but the abuser, it makes the partner easier to control/gaslight. If you don't have friends of your own then join a Support Group, it's free and all you need is Zoom (also free) on your phone and a time when your abuser is at work or too busy to bother you.

2. Have a hobby. Crochet. Read books. Paint. Anything productive. Find something just for you. There's nothing wrong with having a hobby, because unlike your abuser, you're not hurting anyone.

3. Exercise and meditate. Abuse makes you hate yourself, which can affect your self-esteem and put your mind in a panic. Exercise to burn off stress and meditate to keep your mind at ease.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/gC_L9qAHVJ8

Good luck. I grew up in abuse, and sadly dated an abusive partner because of how use I was to being mistreated. It really sucks, but there's always a way out; do your best to cope until you can escape.

ohshee · Answer

It's very simple I don't even have to look in the mirror I can see myself from the inside out and I would tell myself hold on one second I would love to the door and I would take my finger and say come here and then I would say goodbye because I don't ever want to be treated like that I don't treat people like that so I don't deserve to be treated like that either so you have to let it go it was only meant for you to learn something from and move on any guy that does that to you just not love you he doesn't even love himself if he did he would know what it feels like and he would not do that to you you need to walk away because otherwise it's just going to keep getting worse and come on aren't you worth more than that you know that's not love you don't want people to treat me like that you don't want your boyfriend to treat you like that you want your boyfriend to treat you like a queen right this is a really easy decision it's not even worth the having heartache over he's not a good guy he's not a nice guy he's a prick he wants in his way he's a control freak do yourself a big big favor and lock away and start your life all over again

Better yet just be 100% honest with yourself he's not the right guy for you never has been never will be You Need To Love Yourself see that's the thing is if he can keep doing what he's doing he's going to break you down to where you don't even like yourself and that's what he starts controlling you even more fuck that walk away you'll be 10 times happier it's not the end of the world that will be another guy but you have to accept it it is over it is done with he had his chance and he blew it goodbye come on stand up for yourself you get to choose who you want to be in life by the things you say and do pics that person until that fucker to get the fuck out there's other guys out there that was loved be your boyfriend be honest with yourself

dynamicyandere · Answer

My Two Cents:

Have a serious conversation about how things are going in the relationship. Call them out on what has been happening and how it has been affecting you. Attempt to communicate and work things out together, to find a solution you can both agree upon. Be very clear on your non-negotiables. And be assertive enough to leave if they don’t keep their end of the agreement.

If they care about you, they will stop playing games and cooperate with you. If they refuse… Well, it may be best to leave. It takes 2 cooperating people to fix a relationship.

TruthBringer · Answer

There is no better way than to end it and go no contact forever. I speak from experience. Emotional abuse is far more serious than people realize. Only the ones who truly went through it and understand the severity understand. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can start to recover. Over time you will realize that it was the best decision to make.

Jabberjaw · Answer

You don't. Abusive behavior is unacceptable.

You establish that boundary and give opportunity for them to work on it or you walk away. Emotionally might be difficult but it is both the right thing and most effective way to "deal with" it.

MrOxford · Answer

Assuming you’re not in any immediate danger, the most important thing to do is to not suffer alone. Share what is happening to you with someone you trust - friend, family, coworker - doesn’t matter. Sometimes talking is all that is needed to give you the perspective to make the right decision. Many people feel shame for being in an abusive situation. Their self-esteem is often rock bottom, they lack confidence to make decisions and they might blame themselves for their predicament. That’s why talking to someone is so important because when people are being abused they often lack the clarity to see what is happening to them for what it really is. If you have no one to talk to then many countries have charities that provide confidential and anonymous advice online or by text. Often telling someone you feel like you’re being abused is the hardest first step. But once you’ve taken it other decisions become much easier.

Kreneman · Answer

If a person is emotionally abusive, that is a sign (Red Flag) for that person to seek professional help, and you need to get out of that relationship before it gets worst. Love is not a wise choice to stay with that person nor will save that person. Loving from a distance and that person seeking help are keys for safety, change, respect and a carenes.

electromagnetic · Answer

You don’t deal. You leave.

that’s literally the only solution. They chip at you slowly slowly and at first you don’t realize because the love is all new and sweet and what not. But as the months progress the Dynamic changes and it gets worse and worse. Words that you easily brushed off start to slap you a lot harder, faster and more frequent.
leave.

PJH359 · Answer

Very simple…LEAVE. I dealt with a narcissist wife for 19 years. The moment I found out that in addition to myself, she was abusing my older daughter, I filed for divorce the following day. I was also granted custody of that child…but not her younger sister unfortunately.

globetrotter22 · Answer

You sit down with them and communicate what they are saying and doing that bothers you. If they don’t shape up then it’s time to ship out. If you stick around it’s on YOU at that point.

I am so fed with women who tolerate this crap longer than they should and then look for shoulders to cry on when it’s all said and done.

raddisn · Answer

I had this type of marriage for a long time. The emotional abuser will mostly blame their spouse for their outburst and make it seem like it's your fault. I lived with it for 30 plus years until she left. I started to live once again. And never looked back

Anonymous · Answer

Uh, leave! Remember you were the one who chose this person in the first place, you can always un-choose this person. If he is abusive and toxic, that baggage was with him the moment you picked him, you don’t like it?…then simply return to sender and problem solved.

Anonymous · Answer

Leave. I know it’s hard to just leave because I had an emotionally abusive partner on and off for two years and I loved him more than anything so it was hard to just walk away. When things ended I went through a few months of pain but then realised I’m so much better off. So many men out there who would never think of abusing a woman and that’s the kind of man you need.

SaartjieJane · Answer

You don’t, just leave. in my opinion.
I’m an emotional and sensitive person. I cannot help a person heal from past traumas or shit experiences nor will I be a punching bag for someone. Did that for two years and it totally wrecked me

MrOracle · Answer

I end that relationship very, very quickly. I have no interest in sustaining such a relationship.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Depends what’s going on. Listen if there’s anything true that you’d benefit from and need to hear or if it is intentional and not true.

It’s clashing perspectives.

You may need some space to sort it out.

Blackcosmo · Answer

Leave as soon as possible. It's going to take lots of courage and willpower, but it's worth it and you can do it. Reach out to your family and friends if you need support.

dustybiker · Answer

Pack their things nicely, put them in a storage unit under their name, and change the locks. Text them it’s over and where their stuff is and the keys in their main office. Block their number.

PessicaJeter · Answer

You leave them ASAP and find someone better and a therapist if needed. That's all there really is too it. It will never be worth sticking around in the long run.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

You leave them. Block them and stop all contact. Rebuild yourself and do your best not to end up with someone abusive ever again.

RealMarek · Answer

I would not recommend putting up with it for 20 years. It was a lot better after leaving an emotional abusive person.

serious · Answer

You don't deal with them. You break up with them and never take them back.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Of your not married to him easy break up with him. Nothing will ever change it will oy get much worse. You can find someone else.

Metelda · Answer

Its definitely a red flag 🚩 Just shake it off girl and move out of him.. There are loads of gentlemen waiting for you 😊❤

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I run away if they're too much to fight with, but I have been known to put a bitch or 2 in their place.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I don't deal with abusive people be it emotional or otherwise, and I certainly wouldn't put up with it in a relationship!

petitedollbabee · Answer

You don’t deal with them, you leave them. It’s a no brainer. No one should have to tolerate emotional abuse.

mantelk · Answer

Don't be such a whore and stop friendzoning good men and going out with psychopaths. And if you do, stop saying, "where are all the good men". You are a whore and you enjoy being abused but when it gets too much you play victim.

AviatorTom · Answer

When my SO goes off the rails (which she sometimes does), I verbally fight back for a few minutes, and then ignore her.

Texasgal95 · Answer

You exit the relationship as fast as you can. Your safety is number one

Flower7 · Answer

By breaking up. Other than that, there’s nothing that can be done to fix that situation.

Anno2 · Answer

You don't. OMG he's really hot and got feeling on a good day. Nobody wants you to be in an abusive relationship but somehow you ask this question.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

You make plans to leave. If you don't, it'll destroy you.

DiegoO · Answer

Leave them, without confrontation (you never know how they'll act if you rebell to them). Just run, don't look back. Change your number, do not leave any prove of where you are going.

YvonneTIreland · Answer

Leave the relationship. I know that’s easier said than done when you are probably still in love with them but for your own sake leave as it’ll only get worse

Spiritofn · Answer

You have to decide if your going to try and do your damdest best to help them heal or leave them. You have to make a judgment call. Maybe ask friends on their opinion or family maybe ask yourself.

Ryfyle · Answer

A quiet drive in the county with a sleeping bag, shovel, and a.45. The best way to encourage compliance is to be more Crazy. And being a woman the court is on your side, just make sure to mark your self up before you see a lawyer.

Waldoe · Answer

LEAVE... they are usually so Damaged, that they cannot be fixed...

FilmGuy93 · Answer

You leave. I've been there. I stayed because I thought she would change. She didn't change at all.

hypojoe · Answer

Start thinking about moving on this person does not respect you

MC1100 · Answer

You don't want to look back in life and realize you wasted your years on a emotional vampire..

GingerGuy · Answer

Leave them. Why should you "deal" when you can be HAPPY with someone else?

KitsuneFoxSpirit · Answer

Deal? You don't. You leave. Trash like that isn't worth dealing with.

hellomellow7 · Answer

That’s a really hard one if they’re controlling and won’t let you go

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Just leave, walk out, if needs be get a friend to help you.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I personally suffered in silence didn’t even feel like my needs matter etc..  would recommend leaving before you feel obligated to stay even though you feel like you’re the problem.

Anonymous · Answer

You find a friend you trust or family member and LEAVE take your stuff and run as fast as you can break if with them and block them. Surround yourself with people who you KNOW will protect you.

InsertNameHerex · Answer

You run. They ain’t worth your time nor your mental health

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If you tell them that something is offensive and they don't get it, you leave.

JosyJosy · Answer

I don't. I am then single looking for a decent partner.

Luopio27 · Answer

I left an abusive friend because he just took more energy from me than he gave. I never regreted leaving toxic people out of my life.

Crankor · Answer

Deal as on continue to live with or moving on with your life?

EarthRealm · Answer

Abuse him back.  It’s not hard to abuse someone.  Use the tool you got in your head.

ColHathi · Answer

Unless they'd change that behavior, I'd leave, I imagine.

postaldudePL123 · Answer

Like this

Jackson619 · Answer

Good question to be honest it's hard sometimes it's good to talk to someone about your emotions. Emotions abuse is worse thst physical physical heals emotional stick with you

jahaims · Answer

By having self respect and not being with an abusive partner

Anonymous · Answer

I don't. Simple! You make my life too hard and I remove you from my life. I don't care who you are.

Better_off_here · Answer

they need to get rid of them right away! men who abuse women are not real men!

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