How to heal from an abusive relationship?

[Anonymous]

After over 2 years of toxic back and forth and verbal abuse, I am confident that I am ready to leave this person behind. I tried to give it one more go recently because I tried moving on (the guy was great and checked every box but he didn't feel like home the way my ex did). When my ex and I started talking to begin to work it out, we discussed if we've been with other people. He said no (doubt it) and I told him about the guy I had been seeing. I told him we were dating, slept together, and liked each other but I told him I only wanted to be friends. My ex got angry and called me a hoe trash ass bitch. I instantly blocked him. Since then, he's been calling from blocked numbers, leaving voicemails, and sending flowers. I answered the phone yesterday and told him I was done with the disrespect. He said something along the lines of, "well if you don't push me over the edge then I won't call you out of your name." From that I realized he would never change.

My question is for people who have had healthy relationships after a bad one. How did you heal for your new partner? More importantly, how do you heal for yourself? I am interested in and seriously considering therapy but I would also like some insight into someone's actual healing process.

I'm sort of at a point to where I feel I won't find anyone but still that's better than staying with someone who does not respect me. Just looking for some hope that it gets better!

[Anonymous]

Be patient with yourself and give it lots of time to get over that person. Also, focus on doing what it takes to heal.

[peachragdoll]

Try your best to have a support network of friends and family that you can trust and who love you. They can show what it really means to love someone and help you raise your standards for love to the appropriate level.


Take the time to relearn yourself and be patient with yourself. Sometimes you need to re-establish who you are as it’s easy to get lost in those types of relationships, it’s like you need to recalibrate yourself. What are your goals for yourself, your hobbies, your needs and wants.


Therapy too, to help work on breaking the cycle and really introspecting, so that you can be stronger and more secure in yourself and what you believe and why.