I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks now, and we seem to really connect. We've had some deep conversations but due to scheduling conflicts haven't been able to go out on a date yet (first because of his work trip, and now because I just left for a family trip).
I've heard plenty of times that guys know early on if you're someone they want to be with. But then I've also heard plenty of times that if a guy is too interested too soon then it's a red flag. So which one is it? What's the difference?
BACKSTORY: I've been taking my time with dating after ending a relationship with an ex who turned from incredibly thoughtful to emotionally abusive. Stopped dating for about a year ato time to heal and grow from that experience but have now been doing online dating. I've been on dates here and there for the past few months and had a few conversations that didn't really go anywhere. No one's really stuck until this guy. However, given my last relationship, I want to be careful about what signs to look out for because the signs I missed from my ex are so crystal clear now. This new guy seems so eager to go out and see how we connect in person.
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Opinion
1Opinion
The assumption is that you two are clicking in Relationship and you are asking for a way to gauge one’s Sincerity.
Firstly, know you’re Standards, Dreams, and Place in your life for a man while moving cautiously in word, tone, and demeanor. Slow him down without the B- stop move and attitude but still, slow him down. Provide your Vision and do not force his. See how long that takes to occur on its own…don’t pressure a response from him.
Secondly, respectfully criticize and freely disagree while making the expectations of your man clear. It is even more important that you define what his expectations of you should be. You can tell him they are too low and that he should expect more of women in general in these areas…
And in doing this it is okay to set yourself up for Judgment and Condemnation. You want to be brutally exposed in positive way and see what he does as you fail to meet the Standards that you professed he should seek. You want to see your guy’s behavior and reactions when the realizations hit and the opportunity to condemns occurs.
It is going to happen anyway SO put it in a framework that can be validated. And see, what his heart ❤️ does with it.
If you are unable to articulate expectations and/or what you will and will not deal with then you are not ready.