So why is he all smiles one minute then awkward and avoids eye contact the next?

[Anonymous]

There’s a new guy in my department at work.

When he first started he seemed overly confident, bordering on being a bit cocky. But in our daily team meetings we kept on catching each other’s eye and looking at each other. One time I caught him just randomly staring at me (although to be fair, I could’ve just been caught in his line of vision) and he didn’t look away when I looked at him although I was in a hurry so I looked away quite quickly.

I don’t work directly with him, but a few times I’ve been near where he works he’s included me in his conversation. And when I bump into him (catch him unawares) he seems friendly and pleased to see me, he makes full eye contact and smiles. But when he has to ask me something specific he seems quite awkward and unable to hold eye contact, even though I am friendly and always smile at him.

I can’t quite figure if I’m doing something wrong? Is there anything I can do to make him feel less awkward around me?

[Mr_twoface]

He likes you and is comfortable doing so on a distance but becomes very shy when its in person and hence the conversation ends being awkward and unpleasant to you. Try next time by telling him to have eye contact with you or lean your hand onto his bicep and say, are you okay? It may calm him down ;)

[Serkee]

He sounds sorta like me. I'm pretty scared to initiate conversation with women because I don't want to seem creepy or make them uncomfortable, especially with women I like, but when they talk to me first it's like a green light goes off in my head and I can talk to them without worrying about that. If I had to guess he's going through something similar.

[DishLady]

Guys are human... they have bouts of insecurity just like anyone would when approaching and trying to get to know a person... let the guy breathe and just follow his lead.

[laly520]

u could talk to him about it maybe

anything would do but changing urself for him

[Mindfuldude]

Honestly, this sounds like a “him” thing. You shouldn’t have to change your authentic self to accomodate anyone let alone him. Not to be harsh about it, it’s just that we spend most of our lives curbing our authenticity, worried about what others will think. Try to enjoy being yourself & if he has an issue with something you’re doing, he can communicate that as I’m assuming he’s an adult. If he chooses avoidance instead of communication, that feels to be more of a reflection on him than it is on you in my opinion! Best of luck :)

[D_r_e_w]

He likes you. If you like him and want to make him feel less awkward and are open to more, send him signals to move forward. He’s likely awkward because it’s harder for men to put themselves out there to be rejected. He really speaking most men have limited options, that number goes down significantly once you only consider girls you like. So to him there’s lots to lose on this. Not to mention it’s at work. You likely already are displaying g subconscious signals he’s unaware of. Send more obvious one but understand most men get those wrong too so. I’m sure you know how to flirt so have fun with it if that’s what you want to do. But the simple answer is he’s interested in you.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Perhaps he knows: "is this bordering (to use your word) on an appropriate level of teamwork or beginning of a relationship which may or may need to be declared or HR aware" you know. Workplaces lol. Ah well. I never had a workplace love interest or even whatever you describe what that is. If it's just a new pal or a supportive mentor or even just "it's Greg or its mark" or its Bruce or it's Jim or who ever

[itsclearlynicholas]

What was his name again - says no woman ever lol potential love interests or nah 😆😂

[Anonymous]

I'm new in my department too and I wish a certain colleague thought about me like that too.

I am the youngest. I lack experience. I'm new at the office. I really feel insecure, but it's normal. At first, I projected some confidence and I even went to approach that (older than me) woman to introduce myself. I'm not sure if I can keep the confidence level up all the time, as I have doubts. And it's normal in my first job.

[VV3ZZY123]

he's just up in his head thinking things like. "Am I supposed to stare at her, but what if she thinks I'm creepy, but she's so beautiful, but she won't like me, oh no she knows! I have to look away now, damn it I screwed up. Now she definitely knows, is she staring back? Do I have a chance with her? Dont make it obvious, play it cool" etc... it's really bad. I used to do this all the time. I still do.

[captain_voidwalker]

Well there's kind of a stigma when it comes to men and women interacting at work. You might not be the type to do thus but the fact is you can run to HR and complain about him and it's insta fired for him. No judge no jury just fuck you your out. That tends to make interacting awkward at best

[TadCurious]

My opinion is that he likes you/is attracted to you. Those things at first can make him awkward around you early on. Having said that, in some situations he's comfortable giving you smiles. I can understand how that seems like a paradox.

[ProbablyClueless]

He's just a socially awkward person. Probably has a certain amount of social anxiety

[Awesomesauce2005]

He is shy but he likes you. He has probably been emotionally negleted in past relationships so he fakes disinterest

[lovalova12]

Hiding a bit of your interest at work is normal. Most people do that. It's a professional environment in which you have to behave yourself.

[Gavin_Rowe]

It's all a facade. He's probably an introvert just trying to create an image of himself

[lovalova12]

I encourage all introverts to express themselves and to project confidence. I used to be an 'introvert' (still an introvert, but I think you use the work introvert to mean social awkwardness and not as someone who focuses on their thoughts and not the external environment), but I encouraged myself to be as open to people as I could and now many call me outgoing and extrovert.

[DreamLife7]

He's not interested in you and why are u harrassing men at work

[spartan55]

I'm sure it's not as bad as you make it seem.

[poshspice123]

Is his sun sign Taurus?

[Asker]

No idea!!

[Anonymous]

I think he has autism

[DarkLegacy]

Im thinking the same thing