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Do you support them? Do you kick them out? Do you advise abortion? What would be your reaction and why?
What would you do in that scenario, and what the general consensus thinks about a teenager’s unexpected pregnancy.
I'd be supportive but firm with them.
Supportive: I see no need to bitch and punish them. The mistake is made and a new, innocent life is in the balance. So the first priority is helping them prepare to be a parent. In the event it is my son becoming a father, I would help him prepare in every way possible to keep the mother from being able to play games and denying him time with the child. If it is a daughter becoming a mother, I would remind her that I will not tolerate her playing games with the father and trying to use the child as a tool to control the father. However, if the father is a bad father, I would teach my daughter how to manage guys like that.
Firm: They would have already been aware of the consequences of sex before they reached the age where they could produce a baby. I would let them know I will be there for them in the areas they fall short, but that the baby is THEIRS, not mine.
Also, I would stand firm in opposing any abortion attempts. No need to murder an innocent baby over a mistake they chose to make. I might not be able to stop them from doing the abortion if they decide to go through with it, but they would know I would treat them like any murderer if they went through with it. This would include forever cutting them off. However, if they choose to keep the baby, they will have all the help I can give them.
Shocked for sure. Just as I would assume most parents would be. Thereafter comes being upset over the situation and having conversations with them about what they would like the next step to be. If they want to keep it, how are the going to manage it financially, how will it affect them and so on. Then take the appropriate decision from there. We won’t impose demands. They will have to live up to their bargain and live with the consequence.
Even though we have no children yet, me and wife have talked about how to raise future children, and we will be such liberal and down-to-earth parents. Early on we will talk with the kids about sex, abortion, alcohol, drugs etc. Once they are in their teens and are more exposed to relationships and sex, we will talk about sexual transmitted disease as well as protection. For the teenage girls we are both on the same page allowing them to decide to take birth control or implant IUD. For the boys, it will be to give them enough pocket money so they can get morning-after-pills. Obviously, we will push for condoms but we know that most will not use it.
For a daughter: first tell her I love her. Then talk through all her options and what each option would look like. The decision is up to her and I will be supportive of whatever she chooses.
For a son: first tell him I love him. Talk through the options that could happen and how to support the girl he got pregnant through any of those options. Remind him that he can voice his opinion but ultimately what she decides to do goes. I will support whatever she chooses and support him through whatever process that may be.
I plan to be open and honest with my future children about all of this stuff. I won't "ban " teenagers from having sex, I won't kick them out, I will teach them about safe sex and being responsible.
I'd be supportive as possible. I had 2 teen pregnancies and my parents were shit and kicked me out so I'd try to be better than that. Nothing good comes out of being unsupportive with your kids.
Opinion
34Opinion
First, I would be happy, quite honestly. Grant that it is not the best circumstances, but I would be a grandfather and that would be a truly happy thing for me.
Further, I would be make an effort to be happy in order to take the stress off of my son/daughter and his/her partner. I would want them to be responsible but also to know that, come what may, they will have a blessing in their life and I would not want them to be more stressed than they probably will be.
They would get no lectures on sex from me - and honestly I tend to think that sex is perfect natural and healthy for teenagers. To be sure, they need to take proper precautions, but on the whole, as their bodies mature it is natural that they will seek sexual release and a fulfilment of their sense of manhood/womanhood.
So, as I say, no lectures. I would also assure them that while I will expect them to be fully engaged in the raising of their child, they will be provided with a roof over their head until they are ready to get settled. They will be taken care of financially and the only thing I do expect is that - if they already have not - they will complete high school. preferably in the traditional manner if possible, but if not through a GED program.
Also, if it is my son who is about to become a father, I will - assuming that he has already shown the aptitude - help him to get into and stay in college. Providing the aid that I would have provided had he not become a teen dad. If it is my daughter, I will leave it to her and her boyfriend - assuming that he is involved - to decide if she wants to go to college.
It may seem a bit old fashioned, but as the mother to a baby, her situation will be somewhat different from a man. A baby, especially in the early years, needs his/her mother around for things like nursing and such and so we would have to make adjustments for this.
Bottom line, my goal would be to help them to be good and loving parents, to get on their feet, and to realize that what they did while perhaps not ideal, it was not wrong and was, in its' way, beautiful. .
This I say, by the way, as the father of four out of wedlock children. My oldest is a 14 year old boy whom I only met a couple of years ago. While I regret how much of his life I missed till his mom - with whom I had had a one night stand - decided to tell me he had been born, he is a great kid and I love him.
The other three - boy (10), boy (8), girl (7) - I had with my current live-in gfd. They are the light of my world and they make me happier than I ever thought I could be.
The only thing that would make angry is if they had an abortion. Having held those little people in my arms, I could not imagine taking that little life. Yes, being teen parents won't be easy, but they will never know greater happiness than holding that little life in their arms. Not every moment will be magic, but on balance they will be the better for being parents and there is, even under admittedly difficult circumstances, pure joy in holding a little life that you made in your arms.
This is what I would want for my children and why I would handle an unplanned pregnancy with one of my children involved with calm and support.
I won’t lie I’d be mad as fuck. I don’t think I’ll have kids but if I did I’m definitely teaching them about safe sex and being smart and to avoid certain situations and certain people. But if it was my daughter I’d definitely sit her down and have a talk about weather she wants to keep the baby or not. And also educate her to the best of my knowledge about her keeping the baby. If it were my son and the mother of his child decided to keep the baby I’d definitely change my attitude towards him. I’d no longer treat him as a teenager and instead he’d have to man tf up. Raising a child is a massive responsibility my kid rather guy or girl has to understand that bringing a life into this world is nothing to joke about.
I grew up with not the best parents well specifically my mom and her boyfriend. My dad did a decent job and I wish I would have stayed at his house more growing up instead of my moms. Realizing their huge mistakes in raising children made me realize how a parents actions affect their kids so if I were to ever have kids I’d do my best and educate myself the best I can before bringing a life into this world and if my children ended up having kids themselves then I’d do my best to make sure they do the same.
I won’t shame them for what happened it’s already been done but I’m also not going to enable them into bad behaviors as well.
they would need a lot of support and freeing up from guilty feeling to understand what they really feel about the situation. This is where parents play the crucial role. So I would support them and help to connect with and understand their feelings. When they know what they feel, making decisions is easier. We would talk a lot about different scenarios and related consequences.
If it's about my son, I would get in contact with the girl and her parents. Their feelings and opinions matter.
The time for that discussion is LONG before an unplanned pregnancy happens. Parents need to be having discussions during their early teenage years and setting clear boundaries and expectations. Your kid should already know what you will say and do.
Waiting until after is like waiting until they drive drunk and kill someone before you talk about drinking and driving - you completely failed as a parent. That goes for many other things too.
Parents who think that their kids should figure it all out on their own are setting their kids up to fail.
I would be extremely disappointed because that’s not the daughter that I raised to sleep around like that but what’s done is done we have to take care of the baby so obviously I’m gonna be the new father because she has nobody else to help her and I’m sure the boyfriend will split. They don’t have any money at that age, but I’m gonna take a shot at going to court to make sure he pays child support but the daughter will live with me and the baby and I will have to raise the baby The best of my ability
I would support them in whatever decision they decide to make. They can stay at my house for as long as they decide to but at some point they'll have to find a job and contribute with the baby's expenses. I don't mind taking take of the baby while they're at school/working.
s As the saying goes.. don’t support teen pregnancy, but support pregnant teens. I would offer support and empathy towards my daughter or the girl that my son got pregnant, and I would make sure that she’s aware of her actions - and what consequences come with each option.
I’d be supportive to the best of my abilities. My mom had me in her 20s and she’s basically reaping the rewards of being in her 50s and still having the energy to do the things she enjoys and to go out.
Let them decide what they choose. I'll give them support by teaching them parenting and what's good for their children. However, I won't be carrying the burden of raising their child for long. Or they can choose to abort it. I'll take the role of a grandpa not a father.
shocked at first, I'd try not to flip out but have a serious sat down conversation about the guy's future: if he sure wants to throw away his educational career and youth and really wants to start a family with no money, no own place to live, no job etc. and try to convince him to talk to her about the idea of abortion. I'd talk to the girl's parents as well
They're going to have to get a part job and learn responsibility. Cause they're not going to keep living that yolo life while I take care of everything, that's for sure
I would support them and make sure that they take responsibility for their actions.. Definitely advise against abortion..
Not at all ideal, she would be better to wait until 18 and will be scolded. Although given current demographic trends I might be a little thankful given how otherwise unlikely I am to end up with grandchildren at all with modern feminism.
I’d be pissed, but i wouldn’t kick them out. Can’t teach them anything that way. Babies raising babies takes extra time, energy and money… not to mention patience and love. I’d make sure that they had enough responsibility to be endlessly worried that they messed up big time, and enough support that they don’t actually ruin their life or the life of their baby.
Bad choices should not be encouraged. If I support them then by default I support the bad choice. And support is a form of encouragement. So they are welcome to see themselves out. They will be given money but they are on their own so best hope they can get a job place to stay etc.
Fortunately, I've never been in that situation with any of my 3 kids.
Hypothetically, if that happened, I would talk with them, help them get their true feelings, discuss possible outcomes, and let them make a decision on what to do. I would support that decision, even if I would disagree with it.
I would be greatly disappointed and would have them sit down to face the tough love I’d have to dispense. If they want to make adult decisions, they’re going to have to face adult consequences as I will not be the one raising their baby. I would not kick them out of my house, but I would encourage them to seek employment.
Daughter: if this guy hasn't expressed a strong desire to marry you and build a family you are getting an abortion, as I did not raise you to be a fucking baby momma.
Son: if you are sure it's yours you should offer to complete the family you started, but still get a paternity test. If she doesn't want to take you up on that offer or she isn't wife material I recommend you make her a smoothie with mifeprestone/misoprostol in it.
I would be angry but I would be supportive and make sure that they have the best life possible.
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