Do you support them? Do you kick them out? Do you advise abortion? What would be your reaction and why?
What would you do in that scenario, and what the general consensus thinks about a teenager’s unexpected pregnancy.
Do you support them? Do you kick them out? Do you advise abortion? What would be your reaction and why?
What would you do in that scenario, and what the general consensus thinks about a teenager’s unexpected pregnancy.
I'd be supportive but firm with them.
Supportive: I see no need to bitch and punish them. The mistake is made and a new, innocent life is in the balance. So the first priority is helping them prepare to be a parent. In the event it is my son becoming a father, I would help him prepare in every way possible to keep the mother from being able to play games and denying him time with the child. If it is a daughter becoming a mother, I would remind her that I will not tolerate her playing games with the father and trying to use the child as a tool to control the father. However, if the father is a bad father, I would teach my daughter how to manage guys like that.
Firm: They would have already been aware of the consequences of sex before they reached the age where they could produce a baby. I would let them know I will be there for them in the areas they fall short, but that the baby is THEIRS, not mine.
Also, I would stand firm in opposing any abortion attempts. No need to murder an innocent baby over a mistake they chose to make. I might not be able to stop them from doing the abortion if they decide to go through with it, but they would know I would treat them like any murderer if they went through with it. This would include forever cutting them off. However, if they choose to keep the baby, they will have all the help I can give them.
To clarify, my answer is given as though the son/daughter getting pregnant is my child. In the event it is my son and someone else's daughter, I would remind the daughter that my grandchild will be cared for regardless of what happens between my son and her. I would let her know that she would be treated as my own daughter at least until my grandchild turned 18. However, I would let her know that I consider abortion murder and would absolutely oppose her as much as possible if she chose that route.
Shocked for sure. Just as I would assume most parents would be. Thereafter comes being upset over the situation and having conversations with them about what they would like the next step to be. If they want to keep it, how are the going to manage it financially, how will it affect them and so on. Then take the appropriate decision from there. We won’t impose demands. They will have to live up to their bargain and live with the consequence.
Even though we have no children yet, me and wife have talked about how to raise future children, and we will be such liberal and down-to-earth parents. Early on we will talk with the kids about sex, abortion, alcohol, drugs etc. Once they are in their teens and are more exposed to relationships and sex, we will talk about sexual transmitted disease as well as protection. For the teenage girls we are both on the same page allowing them to decide to take birth control or implant IUD. For the boys, it will be to give them enough pocket money so they can get morning-after-pills. Obviously, we will push for condoms but we know that most will not use it.
For a daughter: first tell her I love her. Then talk through all her options and what each option would look like. The decision is up to her and I will be supportive of whatever she chooses.
For a son: first tell him I love him. Talk through the options that could happen and how to support the girl he got pregnant through any of those options. Remind him that he can voice his opinion but ultimately what she decides to do goes. I will support whatever she chooses and support him through whatever process that may be.
I plan to be open and honest with my future children about all of this stuff. I won't "ban " teenagers from having sex, I won't kick them out, I will teach them about safe sex and being responsible.
Also if it's a situation where the girl doesn't want her parents to know for whatever reason, I will 100% keep that secret.
You will be an amazing mother one day and your children will be so happy to have you as their mother, you’ve said pretty much the same thing I would do as a father myself. A parent’s role is to be understanding, loving, and supportive towards your child no matter the situation would occur. Our role is to guide our children and teach them principles, values, and virtues about things to be knowledgeable of once they’ve grown to having experiences grants them to become wise in their decisions and what they’ll do to be sure without thinking. I agree you can’t stop when they are teens to have sex but even if it’s with someone they love and not just for heck of it to have sex but they would probably need understanding to know what true love and commitment is but you teach them early on which I will do with my future children early on to show them what love and affection is and never to be shy from it or have in experience for someone also as long as that person is special to receive it and return it back to them without having to be asked back. It’s part of life for things like that to happen and not a bad thing but rather much preferred when they are sure to be capable to once they are established and settled through in life to have a family tho you know?
Absolutely, would never encourage it but will teach it down to the last Nitty gritty detail
You sho nuff got dat right
I'd be supportive as possible. I had 2 teen pregnancies and my parents were shit and kicked me out so I'd try to be better than that. Nothing good comes out of being unsupportive with your kids.
I’m so sorry that happened and I absolutely agree, I was just telling the other person she said something similar to what you parents did to you that kicking you out is not the sensible thing or wise thing to do because our roles as parents that regardless of what the situation is or result came from a decision made by your child, you’d would sit down and talk with them in what to do next, how they feel, and if they decide to keep the baby or not but if she or he decides to want to keep the baby, you would guide them in each way step by step on what to do when you have a baby on the way and abortion isn’t the answer neither, I’ve never really like that at all because that’s taking a life away or not able to form into a human life beginning. For me when I have children, I would not be those parents who would think to kick their child out to the streets or yell or scold at them calling them names and say they need to get out and look for a place any of those things. I would want to talk to them and let them know and be aware they’ll soon be parents and taking care of a child is a responsibility that I won’t say they throw their life by what they did and all that because I don’t believe in that narrative that some people say because you would still live a good life while raising a child because it’s not a bad thing as babies are a blessing from god and being a parent is the most rewarding roles any human on this planet would ever be blessed themselves to experience if that person were to be one and not a deadbeat of course because I know my children will not be that way, I trust and know my kids will be responsible and respectful honorable adults in their decisions and they’ll know what to , life happens in what we do and that’s how we would learn and develop by either making choices we would either be proud of or a mistake but it teaches us all to know as we carry on through life.
You will love, guide, and console being there for your child during these situations but also teach them and tell them in raising a child and a family is a serious role to take on and know to manage this whether they are young, they will never be alone or afraid because as their father, i’m gonna be there for my babies no matter what and with them every step of the way. But besides all I said, I hope you and your babies having been great ever since that and your parents will reap in what they sow by what they did because that wasn’t wise to do that to you as their child and soon to be grandchildren at that time and it would reflect back on them for just what they thought paints back on them that their child will resent them for that. No matter what they did, you’ve made this through beautiful to make it possible and happen in what you’ve do for you are a warrior, a champion, and a strong beautiful phenomenal woman your children will be absolutely proud of for what you’ve done and sacrificed.
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34Opinion
First, I would be happy, quite honestly. Grant that it is not the best circumstances, but I would be a grandfather and that would be a truly happy thing for me.
Further, I would be make an effort to be happy in order to take the stress off of my son/daughter and his/her partner. I would want them to be responsible but also to know that, come what may, they will have a blessing in their life and I would not want them to be more stressed than they probably will be.
They would get no lectures on sex from me - and honestly I tend to think that sex is perfect natural and healthy for teenagers. To be sure, they need to take proper precautions, but on the whole, as their bodies mature it is natural that they will seek sexual release and a fulfilment of their sense of manhood/womanhood.
So, as I say, no lectures. I would also assure them that while I will expect them to be fully engaged in the raising of their child, they will be provided with a roof over their head until they are ready to get settled. They will be taken care of financially and the only thing I do expect is that - if they already have not - they will complete high school. preferably in the traditional manner if possible, but if not through a GED program.
Also, if it is my son who is about to become a father, I will - assuming that he has already shown the aptitude - help him to get into and stay in college. Providing the aid that I would have provided had he not become a teen dad. If it is my daughter, I will leave it to her and her boyfriend - assuming that he is involved - to decide if she wants to go to college.
It may seem a bit old fashioned, but as the mother to a baby, her situation will be somewhat different from a man. A baby, especially in the early years, needs his/her mother around for things like nursing and such and so we would have to make adjustments for this.
Bottom line, my goal would be to help them to be good and loving parents, to get on their feet, and to realize that what they did while perhaps not ideal, it was not wrong and was, in its' way, beautiful. .
This I say, by the way, as the father of four out of wedlock children. My oldest is a 14 year old boy whom I only met a couple of years ago. While I regret how much of his life I missed till his mom - with whom I had had a one night stand - decided to tell me he had been born, he is a great kid and I love him.
The other three - boy (10), boy (8), girl (7) - I had with my current live-in gfd. They are the light of my world and they make me happier than I ever thought I could be.
The only thing that would make angry is if they had an abortion. Having held those little people in my arms, I could not imagine taking that little life. Yes, being teen parents won't be easy, but they will never know greater happiness than holding that little life in their arms. Not every moment will be magic, but on balance they will be the better for being parents and there is, even under admittedly difficult circumstances, pure joy in holding a little life that you made in your arms.
This is what I would want for my children and why I would handle an unplanned pregnancy with one of my children involved with calm and support.
I won’t lie I’d be mad as fuck. I don’t think I’ll have kids but if I did I’m definitely teaching them about safe sex and being smart and to avoid certain situations and certain people. But if it was my daughter I’d definitely sit her down and have a talk about weather she wants to keep the baby or not. And also educate her to the best of my knowledge about her keeping the baby. If it were my son and the mother of his child decided to keep the baby I’d definitely change my attitude towards him. I’d no longer treat him as a teenager and instead he’d have to man tf up. Raising a child is a massive responsibility my kid rather guy or girl has to understand that bringing a life into this world is nothing to joke about.
I grew up with not the best parents well specifically my mom and her boyfriend. My dad did a decent job and I wish I would have stayed at his house more growing up instead of my moms. Realizing their huge mistakes in raising children made me realize how a parents actions affect their kids so if I were to ever have kids I’d do my best and educate myself the best I can before bringing a life into this world and if my children ended up having kids themselves then I’d do my best to make sure they do the same.
I won’t shame them for what happened it’s already been done but I’m also not going to enable them into bad behaviors as well.
they would need a lot of support and freeing up from guilty feeling to understand what they really feel about the situation. This is where parents play the crucial role. So I would support them and help to connect with and understand their feelings. When they know what they feel, making decisions is easier. We would talk a lot about different scenarios and related consequences.
If it's about my son, I would get in contact with the girl and her parents. Their feelings and opinions matter.
The time for that discussion is LONG before an unplanned pregnancy happens. Parents need to be having discussions during their early teenage years and setting clear boundaries and expectations. Your kid should already know what you will say and do.
Waiting until after is like waiting until they drive drunk and kill someone before you talk about drinking and driving - you completely failed as a parent. That goes for many other things too.
Parents who think that their kids should figure it all out on their own are setting their kids up to fail.
I would be extremely disappointed because that’s not the daughter that I raised to sleep around like that but what’s done is done we have to take care of the baby so obviously I’m gonna be the new father because she has nobody else to help her and I’m sure the boyfriend will split. They don’t have any money at that age, but I’m gonna take a shot at going to court to make sure he pays child support but the daughter will live with me and the baby and I will have to raise the baby The best of my ability
What if say your daughter met a good dude who wouldn’t be those kind of guy to be a deadbeat or leave your daughter astray on her own pregnant but rather he is a honorable and respectful loving guy who loves your daughter to want their baby together and have a family who would never leave her and take his responsibility in role as a father to take care of his baby. You can’t be sure on the guy your daughter would meet depending on his character and man he is and will be
Right I get that
I would support them in whatever decision they decide to make. They can stay at my house for as long as they decide to but at some point they'll have to find a job and contribute with the baby's expenses. I don't mind taking take of the baby while they're at school/working.
As the saying goes.. don’t support teen pregnancy, but support pregnant teens. I would offer support and empathy towards my daughter or the girl that my son got pregnant, and I would make sure that she’s aware of her actions - and what consequences come with each option.
I’d be supportive to the best of my abilities. My mom had me in her 20s and she’s basically reaping the rewards of being in her 50s and still having the energy to do the things she enjoys and to go out.
Let them decide what they choose. I'll give them support by teaching them parenting and what's good for their children. However, I won't be carrying the burden of raising their child for long. Or they can choose to abort it. I'll take the role of a grandpa not a father.
Of course my daughter/son is already gonna be warned about that before they even hit puberty. So I'd be like "Don't say I didn't warn you"
shocked at first, I'd try not to flip out but have a serious sat down conversation about the guy's future: if he sure wants to throw away his educational career and youth and really wants to start a family with no money, no own place to live, no job etc. and try to convince him to talk to her about the idea of abortion. I'd talk to the girl's parents as well
They're going to have to get a part job and learn responsibility. Cause they're not going to keep living that yolo life while I take care of everything, that's for sure
I would support them and make sure that they take responsibility for their actions.. Definitely advise against abortion..
You’re my kinda guy dawg I feel and think the exact same way. You’ll be a great father if or when you have kids. I always said a parents role is to be there to guide and love your children in regardless the scenario or situation is in the case of a baby on the way. Kicking them out or advise abortion is not the answer or way at all like such parents have done
Exactly... You hit the nail on the head.. I hope to be the best father I can.. 😎.. Thanks my guy!
Of course man you will be and fa sho bruh always ✊🏾
Not at all ideal, she would be better to wait until 18 and will be scolded. Although given current demographic trends I might be a little thankful given how otherwise unlikely I am to end up with grandchildren at all with modern feminism.
I’d be pissed, but i wouldn’t kick them out. Can’t teach them anything that way. Babies raising babies takes extra time, energy and money… not to mention patience and love. I’d make sure that they had enough responsibility to be endlessly worried that they messed up big time, and enough support that they don’t actually ruin their life or the life of their baby.
Bad choices should not be encouraged. If I support them then by default I support the bad choice. And support is a form of encouragement. So they are welcome to see themselves out. They will be given money but they are on their own so best hope they can get a job place to stay etc.
Thankfully not a situation I will have to deal with because my children are being raised and educated by my wife, tutors and myself. And since a large part of personality comes from observing parents they will see a healthy relationship built on love, trust, honesty, and communication and will seek that out when they are old enough. That is sufficient to ensure they will wait to be with someone they intend to remain with before doing something silly
Fortunately, I've never been in that situation with any of my 3 kids.
Hypothetically, if that happened, I would talk with them, help them get their true feelings, discuss possible outcomes, and let them make a decision on what to do. I would support that decision, even if I would disagree with it.
I would be greatly disappointed and would have them sit down to face the tough love I’d have to dispense. If they want to make adult decisions, they’re going to have to face adult consequences as I will not be the one raising their baby. I would not kick them out of my house, but I would encourage them to seek employment.
Daughter: if this guy hasn't expressed a strong desire to marry you and build a family you are getting an abortion, as I did not raise you to be a fucking baby momma.
Son: if you are sure it's yours you should offer to complete the family you started, but still get a paternity test. If she doesn't want to take you up on that offer or she isn't wife material I recommend you make her a smoothie with mifeprestone/misoprostol in it.
I would be angry but I would be supportive and make sure that they have the best life possible.
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