Has giving an ultimatum ever actually solved an issue for anyone?

[Kulotz]

If yes, how did it go down and what happened?

If no, why then it occurs as an advice to solve problems sometimes?

[DishLady]

You can give an ultimatum for certain small tasks — like, “This door has to be painted before your mom comes to visit” because you want the place to look nice and neat for your SO’s parent (s)/family so you make a good impression on them as a couple.


However I’ve watched people give ultimatums for an actual proposal of marriage, which makes no sense. You don’t set a kitchen timer to certain things. It leads to bad, hasty choices just because you don’t want to lose the person. It’s not a healthy was to start a relationship… it may lead to other unrealistic ultimatums or to plain old misery in having chosen the wrong person.

[DishLady]

*way to start… (sorry for the typo).

[jennifer_bloom]

I read humans appreciate border situations which is why beaches are so popular cause it's where the sand meets the water. In the same way, I found the last guy I dated was far more responsive when it was a determining or bordering scenario such as me reconsidering whether we would date at all if he did not attend to a matter, then he was in everyday situations where he thought I would be easily accessible to him and never require some sort of impetus by him.

[Krealot]

My loyalty was being questioned by an ex-girlfriend of mine very often. I do not know if this was due to previous problems or it was just how she was in a relationship, but it was getting bad. Could not meet female friends that I had known for almost 10 years without her thinking I was doing something behgind her back. I made the ultimatum that if she keept doing this, even if it hurt me, I would have to break up with her. In the end, it lasted for about a year or so, but we broke up due to her being very controling. But she stopped being paranoid, and she did finaly talk to my firends about it.

[magiusX26]

dating wise they slmost never will actually work in your favor. in many other situatiins they work in your favor very often. a few examples of them working. "if you do not straighten up here at work, i will fire you." "if you do not clean up your room we will not take you to the mall." "if you do not drive correctly we will ticket/arrest you."

[IslaTheWitch]

some men like to formulate what they want as an ultimate. Much depends on their way of doing it. Sometimes it can be hot AF, and you can enjoy it, sometimes annoying and mostly totally not acceptable.

in general, setting an ultimate means one person feels stronger than another and wants to "rule the relationship". It shouldn't happen in a healthy relationship.

[katiesmuff]

Have done it from time to time with my kids for different things and it seems to work ok. There are some things where it would be total foolish to try using an ultimatum getting something to go your way.

[NathanDavis]

certainly worked on me...

I didn't do it again...

[Anonymous]

I hate giving ultimatums. I asked for this chick to leave multiple times. She ends up staying. and I said you know that my wishes are to have a child. And I know you don't want one. So why are you staying? She just said Im staying because I love. What am i meant to do?

[jamesgoldman]

Yeah my dad was looking at a car
It was a great deal
He wasn't sure and I said you buy it or I'll buy it and turn a profit
He bought it

[Chazmatazz269]

Ultimatums are an effective way for some people to avoid accountability. Make an ultimatum and when their partner leaves, they get to say “They dumped me! I’m sweet and innocent!”

[slatyb]

Yes. It's perfectly reasonable to tell a partner "I need... from you. If you aren't willing to do that, I'm leaving"

[CrabCakes11]

I only use them for small things (if you don’t choose between Mexican or Chinese food we’ll eat at home). Anything bigger than that is iffy

[DrPepper12]

Never. It's an admission of failure and loss of emotions. You end up looking foolish if you don't follow through about something you said in anger. How stupid is that?

[lightbulb27]

Sure but doesn’t necessarily mean the underlying issue barrier is changed. Thats harder work.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. You just have to be willing to walk away if they don't comply. One way or another the problem is solved. Just not always they way you'd liked it to have been.

[Iron_Man]

If you love somebody enough, you will listen to their request its as simple as that especially if you’re doing something wrong or if you’re being selfish with something.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I've never given or been given one but I think it very specific situations they can be necessary to drive home the need for change.

[Usersarepoo]

Yep been given a ultimatum and didn't solve anything.

[FuqUFggt]

Conservatively I'd say 50% bit I'd bet it's way higher.

[MsProsperity]

Yes it solves for a while

[Gavin_Rowe]

No, it just makes the situation worse

[DreamLife7]

Omg gilmore girls😩. Rorey messed up so bad !

[mickeysmonkey]

Usually makes it worse

[itsclearlynicholas]

I guess it doesn't