I escaped an abusive relationship almost 2yrs ago.
I don't miss him. I miss and still grieving the future and dreams he promised of us together, grieving my effort and the genuine love I had for that man and how much I stuck around believing that if I just showed how much I cared and love him, made his life easier that I could somehow "tame" the monster blah blah. Delusional.
After all the abuse, I took the defeat and left him. I had to trick him by telling him to move back to his home state and that I'd follow back after the lease. I never did. He threatened to burn my clothes. He threw away my birth certificate and wanted to burn my social security card.
I was eventually able to get 80% of my things expect what I valued the most because he wanted me to fly back and get them. I obviously didn't bc I felt fear for my safety. He called me on FaceTime to tell me he was going to kill me...
Anyways.
He's a "better man" now for his new girlfriend. He posts and boasts about her, and it triggers me thinking about how he never, in the almost 5 years together, has done that. Never posted me at all , etc. I blocked him, and he blocked me, but sometimes I'm able to see his IG if I unblock and check his page (ik.. bad idea)
And I know what a lot of you are going to say, "Just get over it, move on," etc, but I need something more consecutive and understanding than that.
He literally told me that he is glad he got it out of his system (his abusive ways) because he can now be a better man to someone else... took a lot not to break down from that because I tried to encourage him to be a "better man," but his bettering was just him being a shithead to me.. at my expense.
HOW DO YOU CONTEUSTIVELY MOVE ON?
It doesn't seem fair that he gets to experience another chance at love and relationship while I have to heal from the traumas he caused me and spend time alone to heal properly. I don't know how long this healing process will take, but it's been almost 2yrs
I don't miss him. I miss and still grieving the future and dreams he promised of us together, grieving my effort and the genuine love I had for that man and how much I stuck around believing that if I just showed how much I cared and love him, made his life easier that I could somehow "tame" the monster blah blah. Delusional.
After all the abuse, I took the defeat and left him. I had to trick him by telling him to move back to his home state and that I'd follow back after the lease. I never did. He threatened to burn my clothes. He threw away my birth certificate and wanted to burn my social security card.
I was eventually able to get 80% of my things expect what I valued the most because he wanted me to fly back and get them. I obviously didn't bc I felt fear for my safety. He called me on FaceTime to tell me he was going to kill me...
Anyways.
He's a "better man" now for his new girlfriend. He posts and boasts about her, and it triggers me thinking about how he never, in the almost 5 years together, has done that. Never posted me at all , etc. I blocked him, and he blocked me, but sometimes I'm able to see his IG if I unblock and check his page (ik.. bad idea)
And I know what a lot of you are going to say, "Just get over it, move on," etc, but I need something more consecutive and understanding than that.
He literally told me that he is glad he got it out of his system (his abusive ways) because he can now be a better man to someone else... took a lot not to break down from that because I tried to encourage him to be a "better man," but his bettering was just him being a shithead to me.. at my expense.
HOW DO YOU CONTEUSTIVELY MOVE ON?
It doesn't seem fair that he gets to experience another chance at love and relationship while I have to heal from the traumas he caused me and spend time alone to heal properly. I don't know how long this healing process will take, but it's been almost 2yrs
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
0Opinion
Did u get any help? Therapist?
You continue to be concerned about him, you should stop that, stop caring at what he do. Or u will continue to think about him.
U should find someone to talk to, really. Its hard when u keep everything inside.
Take baby step, stop doing one thing at one time and increase more and more slowly.
I think time and talking will help you.
But please, stop really look at what he do or say on internet. Live your live, care about YOU. Do things for YOU. And stop looking things about him
Hope it helps.
I met my husband.
Congratulations ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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