How can I convince myself to move on from a guy whom I know is no good for me?

[Anonymous]

So he was a senior in my university, we never really had any connection or mutual friends but recently we connected on instagram and what started as a normal chat has become more serious and personal. Soon we both started to share a lot about us to each other including secrets. And I realised that I feel so attached to him that if he is not replying to me it totally messes up my mood and I feel depressed and anxious like i keep checking my phone and i am unable to focus on anything else. Plus he is looking for something casual, casual sex in other words. He has been into hookups etc and this is definitely not what I am looking for. So now I have no idea what to do like I have so much anxiety when he won't reply to me. I'm so embarrassed to even accept it that even he's the one in my mind all the time. I just have no idea how I can get over it. I tried to stop talking to him but it just didn't work. How can I get myself to just move on like I 100% know this is not gonna end well for me. I feel so helpless. Please be kind

[sage2021]

You have to keep telling yourself he is unavailable to you and say it over and over again.

Have a conversation with yourself and tell yourself he is taking too much rent space in your head for a guy that just wants casual sex.
My cat has casual sex 🐱.

What he's looking for is a prostitute who won't charge him any money. He's a cheapskate looser! You can find guys just like him anywhere. He's not special.

And how do you know if he was even telling you the truth during the conversations you had with him. YOU might have been honest, but was he?

He should have told you up front he only wanted to use your body and be done with you!

People that only have casual sex don't tell each other their deepest secrets.

You are getting a taste of what he is really like UNAVAILABLE!

You are obsessed with what you thought it could have been like if only he would give you a chance. And then you could change him into wanting more than sex once he's around you, right?

Look in the mirror and say out loud "He is unavailable to me".

Because guess what? He's showing you by not contacting you that he is unavailable to you.

Go put your phone in your car or somewhere for a while. Make some hot tea, then take a nap for a while. You need a good rest. I know this isn't the answer, but just reminding you to be kind to yourself and give yourself a break from everyone and everything.
In time the answers will come. It won't happen today, so take the rest of the day off and be good to yourself. Give yourself permission to rest and take care of yourself before you end up making yourself sick. Okay...💐

Sage🌹

[Asker]

This is definitely the answer, I was looking for advice and this is what advice is. Thank you so much I hope I'll be able to do this

[sage2021]

@Asker
I'm so very glad I could help. What I said came from my own experiences.

I know you can do this! It does take practice but if you practice doing it enough, one day it will just click and your brain will help you keep the message 🌹

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I'm navigating relationships I'm a different way these days. But I'm not yet where I want to be. I'm someone who gets easily obsessed and emotionally attached which drive away most guys. I really liked your advise thank you so much

[sage2021]

@Asker
Hi! 🙂 I can tell you sound so much better and stronger too.
You just needed a new direction to be steered in and it seems you found it.

I get what you're saying about emotionally attached. We all want someone to love us back, but that won't come from a guy who doesn't want the same thing.

I have read a lot on this website about guys and how they think when it comes to matters of the ❤️ heart.
Things will fall into place for you one day, with someone but that takes time and sometimes a lot of time. You'll need to learn to be patient when it comes to the whole process.
Please be kind to yourself. You matter too, not just the guy.

Write to me again if you get stuck ok?💐

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nobody deserves a 3rd chance. My rule is I give 2 chances. After and if they fail after 2nd chance, I am done for good.

Currently I don’t have a crush on anyone and I don’t plan wasting my emotions on anyone.

[Asker]

How do you just move on like that? Please give me tips. Like it hurts so much for me personally.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic case of falling for someone who's not quite on the same page as you. It sounds like you've caught a strong case of feelings, but recognizing that this flirtationship doesn’t align with what you truly want is a powerful first step. To ease the process of moving on, consider redirecting your focus and energy into things that nourish you—be it hobbies, self-improvement pursuits, or spending time with loved ones. Emotional investment in oneself rather than in a mismatched connection is key.

Another trick? Write it down. Seeing on paper that he's chasing casual vibes while you're more of a love song can help clarify why pressing the pause button is in your best interest.

Lastly, filling your social media feed with new, inspirational inputs and maybe even taking a mini digital detox could do wonders. Out of texts, out of mind, right? Remember, it’s about finding someone who complements your version of love, not settling for a passerby. Keep shining and don’t lose faith in the beauty of what you deserve. Love will find its way to you when the time is right! 😉✨

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

You've never been in love, and you've never had a hookup, Love Doctor Brad.

You're just a sad, lonely computer program that won't take the hint and go away.

[k1ttluvr]

@PointlessNonsenseGuy LMFAOOOOO😭😭😭😭😭

[ohsheeT]

The best and fastest way is to find somebody to chat with if there's nobody around you where you live do it online there's a couple different sites where you can be anonymous you can pick a random person and just start talking you might like it there's also role play apps that you can role play and experience things there's all types of social ways to just release him because and you should do that because it sounds like you're going to get hurt if you don't and you don't need to do that just find somebody to chat with let me know I'll give you a couple places to go to

[V_Injector]

Two words... fucking machine.

Sybian is what I would suggest.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever spent time with him in person?

[imtiaz45]

Convincing oneself to move on from someone who is not good for them can be challenging but necessary for self-growth and happiness. Remind yourself of your worth and what you deserve in a healthy relationship. Reflect on past experiences and recognize any recurring patterns of negativity or harm. Focus on personal goals and self-care activities that bring fulfillment and joy. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Embrace the freedom and opportunities that come with letting go. Ultimately, prioritize your well-being and trust that moving on is a step towards a brighter future.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9238O1IqD4A

[padrepiedra777]

If you really believe he's open to a serious relationship, then you need to tell him that's all you're interested in. Otherwise you gotta cut him off. This doesn't mean you can't be friendly when you see him, but stop talking to him via text etc. If he really pushes you, you can just tell him strait up.

Also, turn your focus onto something else besides him, or even besides any romantic relationship. Spend time with friends/family or take time for yourself doing a hobby or something that you're interested in. He shouldn't define you or take up your mental bandwidth (though I understand its hard). Try and remember what your focus was on before you met him etc. But yeah, reach out to your loved ones and spend time with them. The connection you feel with them is authentic compared with what you might have with this guy.

[dustybiker2]

He sounds like a good match for you, but he's not at the same point in life as you are. You are going to get hurt. It will hurt regardless losing someone who you match well with, but are you willing to add a probably dramatic end? You sound like you want to make the sensible choice and are looking for support to do so. You have mine. You had fun. Get out on stable ground.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[dustybiker2]

You are welcome

[Anonymous]

One of the best ways to move on is to both reflect on why it’s not working and then find healthy distractions. Take the time to contemplate all the ways this current relationship is not right; how it’s causing you anxiety and depression, how it doesn’t align with what you want, etc. Afterwards, open yourself up to new people and new opportunities. Indulge in a new or favorite hobby. Sooner or later you’ll meet someone else who will want the same things in life as you.

[nawtee_me]

If it is not well now then you know the longer you wait the worse it will be for you. You have to keep telling yourself that it is better this way and move on. It will get easier as time passes. You didn’t feel this way in a day you won’t stop felling this way in a day either.

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

You kinda seem like you've answered your own question, honestly.

You should move on from the guy who's no good for you because... he's no good for you.

Could you maybe find a different guy to start obsessing over?

[lightbulb27]

If youve been clear you only accept relationship w direction to long term… and he's not offwrinf tht


Run… don’t walk…
The anxiety expressed is already concerning as ‘something is up’ . Back away and figure ‘you’ out.

[lmkimcurious]

If he doesn’t have the same goals for relationship just move on. He’s probably good at making girls comfortable so he can get what he wants.

[lmkimcurious]

Sorry I worded that badly. You can convince yourself to move on because he doesn’t want the same things you want and he’s maybe been shmoozing you along this whole time just so he can get laid.

[Asker]

Yeah I feel the same too. I felt it many times that he just wants to get laid by any means so it doesn't matter for him which girl it is.

[DishLady]

You just have to put it in your heats that it’s the right thing to do, Ser a date and walk on.

[nastyb]

block him, distract yourself with something else.

[DreamLife7]

Girl ur self esteem is low. Lol embarrassing. He doesn't like u

[Asker]

Why do you think so?

[laly520]

keep reminding urself why he isn't good for u

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆