Do you agree or disagree with this statement about relationship?

[kitty71]

There is a saying that says

"If you can't change the man, change the man"

This can also apply to women.

This is regarding as in relationships there are of course good and bad things, but sometimes you can't change the person (man or woman) to the better if that person does not mean to change or improve and he or she will be the same always due to his/her personality, his character, his/her attitude.

I mean there are peoiple who simply can't change period no matter how hard they try they can't, because that is the way they are or the way they were raised or the way he/she was born period, and this is harder when the person is already an adult, because once you are an adult people dont change, unless that person really WANTS and TRY to change, if not, is a lost cause and you have to put up with it if you want to keep the relationship alive, unless like the saying states: "change the person and move on" even if it takes many relationships in your life to finally settle.

Not many people will agree that a person has to hop from one relationship to another (those men or women who had been in more than 3 relationships, cause people tend to think they are immature, they dont know what they want ) and play until finding the right one who that person does not need to change because they feel comfortable and good with that person.

One just simple example but of course there are many others out there. Jennifer Lopez finally she settled with BA, and of course she had been married many times before and had many failed relationships too. Since noone knows her in person and in reality, what if with Ben Affleck she really found the love she was looking for that with her previous men, she could never found? I mean she dated him 20 years ago, and last year they found each other again. This is just a mere example there are plenty different ones out there.

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Another example my sister was married once like 25 years ago, she got divorced and like 10 years ago she re-married again to a former classmate from high school when they ran into each other again 10 years ago. My sister and her current husband, they were classmates from high school and after high school they each had their own respective lives and they went on their own. The husband got married for his first time and had 3 kids (now all are adults), my sister also got married with her first

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husband (did not ahve kids) and years later they got divorced, she could not put up with him anymore, and when she was separated well, she re-connect with her old classmate who was also divorced and started dating and the rest is history.

[WonderBell99]

I can say with utmost confidence that it is quite impossible to change someone’s personality. I view it as somewhat manipulative that someone would want to change some aspects their partner to suit their needs. Some changes need to be made, yes, but relationships are all about compromising.

Why would you stay with someone you’re not happy with? Everyone has imperfections. If you cannot accept your partner’s flaws as they come, maybe you’re not the right fit for each other.

Yes, of course people change over the course of time.. but YOU cannot change them. Only they can change themselves. Two people can fall out there f love, fall in love, grow apart and then find each other again etc. There are a gazillion possibilities. Most often, this is how abusive relationships continue. The victim stays with the abuser in hopes that they can change them. Some people even get into a relationship to “fix” someone in the name of helping them. It’s a fool’s game. You either accept someone for who they are, or you do not. If you feel like you cannot accept them for who they truly are, they aren’t the one for you.

[Anonymous]

I think relationships are all about compromising. No one’s perfect, everyone has flaws but in order to make the relationship work you gotta choose which “flaws” of them you can live with. I don’t think you can change a person or make them change, it has to come from within. But then again, if we keep chasing a person that’s “perfect” or one that’s gonna change for you then we might never find that person.

I personally wouldn’t wanna be with someone that changes himself based on the person he’s currently with, I do want a guy that’s gonna push me to be better tho and one that’s willing to keep on bettering himself.

[caring__1]

When are women going to let go of the indoctrination that promotes the woman who makes the man, or the woman behind the man? Neither men nor women are lumps of clay eager to be molded by someone else. Rather than say "If you can't change the man" say "Since men aren't interested in being changed." Never get involved with someone based on what you believe is his/her potential. You're only going to be disappointed if you focus on what you believe could or should be.

[Shagmaster6000]

You really need to get to know a person before deciding to make them a permanent part of your life. If they don't tick all the boxes then don't ever expect them to. Either you're flexible, or you're not. If you're not flexible, or if he's really not the right person for you then don't ever expect anything to be any different.

[Shagmaster6000]

Flexibility, Acceptance (forgiveness), and patience are key factors in a relationship. Happy couples practice these things with each other. These personality traits are a skill. They don't come naturally. Like any skill they have to be practiced in order for you to get good at them. If one or both partners don't practice these skills, the relationship is guaranteed to fail.

[Pinay_ako]

You can’t change a person period but you can change yourself and the situation… Sometimes, the change has to be in us if we keep choosing the same types of people, we will always get stuck in the same rut.

[LazerBean]

Absolutely. If there's something about them that you don't like, it's time to move on. And you don't have to relationship hop. You can't talk to men and get to know them without being "in a relationship" with them, and can usually figure out if they have major problems within a couple weeks of doing so.

[Kacey811980]

@kitty71 I think its impossible to change someone who dont want to be changed. let me say this the courtship or dating is as good as it gets anything that seems problematic in the dating phase will get worse as engagement and marriage. it is possible if they want to change however

[KrakenAttackin]

How about you learn to accept the man for who he is? Now there is a revolutionary thought.

[kitty71]

It depends on the thing I want the guy not to change

[KrakenAttackin]

@kitty71. At 51 you should have learned that "changing" other people is a fools errand and us often fiercely resented by the person you are trying to change. Take five seconds and imagine your SO telling you that you are too fat, stupid, lazy, etc, and imagine how you would react?

[kitty71]

i was not talking about my experience or personal i was talking in general. Im not even dating or have a boyfriend anyway

[KrakenAttackin]

@kitty71. You women are constantly in pursuit of an absurd standard to which you believe you are entitled. Here is a news flash, you are nothing special and neither am I. Your privilege, entitlement, self delusion, and arrogance is what keeps so many women from enjoying a great life with a good man and the family they create.

[kitty71]

and if a woman can't change would you thinkt he same if it was not the man

[KrakenAttackin]

@kitty71. Men are constantly having to change and adapt to the women in their lives. Men are 100 times more capable of adapting than women.

[ArtemisSilver]

You have to accept people's flaws if you want to love them. You can be a good influence but ultimately change comes from within.

[pizzalovershouse]

You can't change a person' to make them what you want you have to except them for who they are an you have to have a lot incomn

[BeautifulDarkSorrow]

Nope, never. U don't be with someone to change them, or for their money or because ur lonely. U should be with someone because ur life without them would be meaningless.

[Anonymous]

No, that makes no sense.

[Guy__]

Things don't make sense when we mention celebrities.
gematrinator.com/.../
This is the case with most of them. All staged.

[katestar]

I agree with that.