Why do people say mean things when you're breaking up with them?

[JanetMaree]

[blueonblack22]

If you are breaking up with someone else chances are they don’t want it to happen. So no sh*t their going to be upset. Their hurting. So it should come as no surprise they don’t care about “your feelings” because you no longer care about theirs moving forward:

“If you cut me will I not bleed”

- William Shakespeare

Better question is why do people (particularly women) say mean unnecessary things to you when they are doing the dumping? Especially when it wasn’t over an heated argument? This is what women really said to me when I was got dumped:

• You were bored
• If like someone I will tell them
• You are so sensitive (she was an insane basket case herself)
• Quit having an attitude.

Seriously how often do men talk to women this way when they do the dumping? When men break up with women it’s very common for women to go ballistic. Men are societally conditioned to tolerate it too.

But when women break up with men they tend to rub more salt in the wound (because they are trying to convince themselves they are making right decision). Men are supposed to “take it like man” too. We get a lot less room to lose our sh*t because we are look like “pussies” if we cry or “threatening” if we get angry.

The fact you asked a question like this really shows how selfish you are QA. That’s not to say a man should ever legitimately threaten you or get violent if you leave him. No. But I don’t think that’s the case with what you experienced

The reason women think this way is they often find men completely expendable once they no longer find any more use for them (not all but way too many).

So why the hell should a man care about “your feelings” when you no longer find him valuable? Why can’t he express his hurt and anger? But many limit it or don’t at all. Because society doesn’t allow and you are proving that with this stupid selfish question.

Then people wonder why men have 4x suicide rates.

[MrOracle]

It's because they've been rejected, and their feelings are very hurt. I'm not condoning this - I think it's wrong to do - but I don't have any trouble understanding why people do it. Many people really, REALLY struggle to be vulnerable, as you must be to be in a relationship with someone, and when you finally are able to do so, and then you get rejected, that can be deeply wounding, and some people respond by lashing out (verbally - and I'm sure a few physically) and saying some terrible things so they can make you hurt as badly as they are hurt.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Defence mechanism? To cope with rejections, people seem to project negative emotions and vent out onto the person nearby. Esp. the one who is the trigger.

.

Same as when you reject someone at the very first time you meet. Because of many factors. And our right to choose. I think people should learn to understand that it's not entirely personal.

[DishLady]

Because they're trying to convince themselves that they don't want to be around that person anymore... but usually it backfires and everyone just ends up feeling bummed and hurt.

[AviatorTom]

It's the natural fight or flight reaction. When in a tough situation, the human mind either runs away or fights. Since running away is already chosen by the person breaking up with you and not an option, the natural reaction is to fight, not physically, but with words.

[Finchie40]

To get their point across to the person they are breaking up with , making it clear that it’s over between them. Usually the other person will try to get them to change their minds , by pleading with them and trying to convince them they will change , or they will be a better partner to them. So being mean and rude and saying hurtful things, makes it easier for them to get their point across to them.

[Pinay_ako]

Out of hurt? Out of abandonment? Rejection? How would YOU feel about it? How would YOU take it?

[molonski2]

Because its rejection at the end of the day , and some people have a particular problem dealing with rejection , so they retaliate with words , as a means of defense.

[katiesmuff]

Many times it's a bitter breakup and when we are mad sometimes we let our mouth's get ahead of our brain in the words we spew out!

[FreyaRed]

This happens only if you have had a value to them.

[JanetMaree]

Can you explain this If you don’t mind?

[FreyaRed]

If they say bye, bye turn away and go. It means out of sight out of mind.

[hellothere90]

Sometime it's not mean at all, but the person cannot handle the reason for breakup and then call it mean. It's not mean to say the reasons for break up.

[jshm2]

Depends why you're breaking up with them, I suppose.

If you cheated, or were disrespectful, then they will want some revenge.

[PeachyPie93]

Probably because it hurts to be dumped so they want to hurt you back.

[Amara_09]

They don’t really mean it.


They are just hurting and saying hurtful stuff to you

[mstbooblover]

Frustration, arrogance, pride and vanity I guess.

[RingOfFire]

It's a way of letting go without guilt to convince yourself that it is justified and they deserve it.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Honesty is the rawest policy "more raw than no condom" hahahah

[DrPepper12]

Anger. Rage. Jealousy. Pain. Finality. Airing of grievances. Hurt back because you were hurt.

[Anonymous]

Why people get upset when people break up with them?

[Alwayreckles93]

People have done it all the time.

[Flatmanlewis]

People react tough to pain.

[Smashingdoozy]

Hurt people say hurtful things.

[sage2021]

Maybe so they won't try to come back.

[MsProsperity]

Because they’re immature

[laly520]

they r hurt or angry so

[LaurenM1997]

Cause they are angry it’s normal

[BlueJeanGirl04]

Possibly to make themselves better.

[padrepiedra777]

Because their feelings are hurt.

[Con29]

People do that and then instance regret it

[JanetMaree]

Why would they regret it?

[Con29]

Sometimes it’s just in the heat of the moment

[msg321]

Because of their ego

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

They're just hurting.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

They don't you departinG.