Why do people act like you meant nothing to them after a break up?

[Anonymous]

Why do people act like everything is fine after a breakup and that you meant nothing to them?

Haven't heard from my ex in two weeks.

[Anonymous]

For many guys, the best way to get over a break up, is to move on.

And the best and quickest way to move on, is to cut the ex from your life, completely.

This is even more important if she is the one who did the dumping or initiated the break up.

It's a cognitive reframing process, to minimise any hurt.

Not "She means nothing to me".

It's rather 'She meant nothing to me. Therefore the break-up should not have hurt. Therefore I'm fine."

So by placing yourself in the position emotionally where she (and the relationship) meant nothing to you, you can minimise the pain of the relationship ending.

This is one of the reasons that some guys can get over a relationship in about 5 minutes. They know how to reframe things very quickly.

The comedian Ed Byrne does a routine about this, where he asked his girlfriend to marry him. She said No, and then said "Psyche!" because she was only kidding. He describes in exquisite detail what happened in his head, between her saying No, and the half-second later when she said "only kidding". (

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nJHYCzkN9no#t=350s

)

It's clear from the routine that Ed is someone who could get over a break up in about 5 minutes.

Girls often find this hard to believe, or hard to understand.

It's very likely your ex has zero interest in talking to you ever again.

[Asker]

Wow! I def find it hard to understand. I think more so since we never even officially ended we just stopped talking. He even deleted me off Facebook too. I wish girls were wired the same way, jeez!

[Asker]

This has happened once before and I initiated wanting to talk things out with him and suddenly he was a-ok and all his feelings were back. And here we are again. Are guys feelings really like a light switch?

[Opinion Owner]

They can be just like a light switch yeah. I'm sure this aspect of men is behind womens drive to tie them down, via marriage and commitment - because on some level they know that a guy could reach a certain point where that switch just goes off. And they want to ensure they can hold on to him, even if it does.

[Raiden]

Lol I am one of those who would completely ignore you if we break up, why Idk, I just move on. But before the break up I try my best to fix things but if its unfixable, like if she cheats or something that's crosses the line beyond fixing then it will go in the history books.

[litlaprincess]

agree!

[tokioangel95]

This why I was like that 'act like you meant nothing to them after a break up'

My boyfriend cheated on me, then a week later he popped by to say he really wanted me back and that hooking up with this other girl was the worst mistake of his life...I honestly had no respect for him after that (even though he had previously meant something to me), and gave him the 'cold' look...yes he hurt me...but I wasn't going to show him how hurt I was...I just packed my emotions in the closet.

[desidoll]

They try to pretend that they already get over you and move on.Not sure if they really are,but I think everyone won't feel pleasant after a break up...So yeah don't show that you are concern with them.

[naughty-schoolgirl]

all of my ex-es think I'm like that and I think it's cause when I break up with somebody I just realize it was nothing special and move on quickly

[PoeticNinja]

They're trying to detach themselves from pain, memories, and the person.

Nothing is wrong with that. - I usually do that after a break up, only to get over the person quicker.

[kambo_trick3y]

Probably to spite you, trying to take revenge on you by trying to prove to you that they moved on.

[Maxmetalhead]

Two reasons: 1. He wants to get over you quickly.

2. Maybe he wants you back.

[Anonymous]

He is moving on and you should probably do the same.

[asianfreak]

some are simply moving on from there, others are just showing their hatred for the other person.

[Anonymous]

Because in most cases they don't