Why do guys act like they don't care after you're broken up?

Question

How come after a breakup he acts like he doesn’t care that he lost you. Like he’s living his best life and he can care less about the break up. Like you never really meant shit to them anyways and like any girl would be lucky to be with them? Like all these girls want them and who cares that y’all broke up. Like as women we admit we’re hurt but why do men carry on like it never even mattered (we were together for 2 years btw) . Like I know if you wait long enough you can call him bluff and eventually he’ll crawl back after he realizes you’re gone. But why does it take that long? Why can’t they just appreciate you when they had you. I just don’t understand.

EmbraceThePain · Accepted Answer

Well, it might be the fact that there’s nothing or little to be done about the break up so the best course of action or mindset to have is to accept it and embrace life afterwards because that will make whatever current negative or sad feelings better and offer the best or better chances for a positive future going forward. Of course it can also be predominantly an ego thing or maybe he wants you to see that he is better off without you and wants you to feel sorry for not being with him. I personally believe there’s a evolutionary biological reason why men would feel less sad and have an easier time moving in from a long term relationship as opposed to women. For men, it’s primarily sex and physical when it comes to being attracted to women. Men favor physical traits over non-physical ones, generally speaking, when it comes to women. For men, casual sex with many attractive women might be the ultimate goal due to the possibility of spreading ones genes in as much bodies as possible, out competing other men’s genes on this planet. For women, they have no strategy for sleeping with as many partners biologically speaking. In other words, a woman cannot be pregnant with as much men’s sperm as opposed to a man impregnating many women. Women choose quality over quantity. For women, choosing one man over many that she assesses might be the ultimate goal. Men can father children up to a much older age than a woman can have a viable and healthy baby, due to women having a window where their baby can be free from some things like Down syndrome. So, during a break up, women invest so much into a man because it’s assumed she chose him out of other men around her, wanting to also have a child with him. There was supposedly a lot of emotion on her part, whereas the man saw her more of an object, where if he does things right, he has a steady supply of sex with a woman he finds attractive and can possibly impregnate.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You tried to bluff and it backfired, happens sometimes when you play games...

You, expected him to crawl back and cry for forgiveness?

Men usually suffer inside, not to show weak side, this is just how we are programmed...

Might be that he had enough of your drama and decided to search for something better...

Moonchild714 · Accepted Answer

First of all everyone is different not all guys are like that, many are but not all. Some try right away to get you back, some admit they made a mistake, and some will never admit mustake or try to get you back it all depends on their ego and upbringing. I as a woman acted like none of my relationships mattered after a break-up, friends and family were baffled they'd wonder knowing how much he meant to me but I act like it never existed, meanwhile I was hating mysrlf for Fucking Up. And Never admitted to any of the guys that I Fucked-Up or have Regrets. My Ego had No room for that. Recently in the past 18 months I started running into some exes and started making Amends to them letting thrm know it was me not them some had already figuted it out some didn't. They all just want me to stay on track with my Sobriety snd Paying it Forward.

This is Not a Gender behavior its an Ego Driven Personality behavior.

SpacedCharr · Accepted Answer

I mean, I carried on like my ex didn't matter when I broke up with him.

Because I moved on, and the relationship had not been good for me in the last three years of it.

He won't come "crawling back". The very fact that you think he's bluffing and that he'll need to get back with you speaks volumes of your own personality - and not in a good way.

You're all bent out of shape, but insulting him at the same time. And then not just insulting him, but projecting your own thoughts and ideas onto how he'll act.

I see why he broke up with you.

You need to let it go and move on.

kajoharudo12 · Answer

So quick one. Men are conditioned to believe that emotions are wrong and crying over a girl makes you weak.

Appreciation? That sounds like an internal problem that would need more dissection, but I'm not a therapist, otherwise I'd be driving something nicer than a 2004 ford.

He's acting like he's better now, in an attempt to lie to himself that he never cared, that you never meant that much, that he doesn't need to hurt over you.

I get it. I've done the same thing, then as soon as I found a moment alone, I cried, then cleared it all with visine. Then again, I'm 19. I don't know nuthin.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Because you've shown him that you don't care by breaking up so why should he?

Questions like this boggle my mind. I can't stand girls that can't handle a guy who wants to move on with his life after being broken up with and insist that he should be chasing her like a pathetic loser trying to get her back when she knows damn straight she's going to be dating other guys very soon.

Saris1 · Answer

Well is that not obvious? It's over. It did not work. There is really no reason to cry for ages over a relationship that did not work out. You were a part of his life, not, his life.

If he has this attitude, yeah, he's not crawling back. He's happy that is it over. That does not mean you're a bad person, or that he is a bad person... but the mix, did not work.

Move on.

Gatman34 · Answer

Cause he is happy to move. After a breakup you have to move on so guys are happy to move on and focus on themselves. Not sure why that is so horrible to women

Dzheyk · Answer

Just going to point out here... it's not only men who do that. My wife of 6 years left me, and is acting the same way. Like she doesn't care about me or what I'm going through. All that really means, at least I think so anyway, is that the person has just... checked out of the relationship. Could happen to anyone if the partner has just emotionally moved on.

Rajdlk · Answer

Girl he is a human and mostly a guy if u try to be arrogant than u will miss the treasure guys hold it inside and cry after months confirming he really lost u but will never show it

coolhandroo · Answer

Appreciation is a hard thing to find going both ways. Whether it's romantic professional or platonic the cause of a huge amounts of falling outs come from one side taking the other for granted. And unfortunately whoever cares less holds the power in the relationship and saves face in the breakup. Shitty but true

shorty45 · Answer

I guess both parts want to show the other part that he living well and don't care but the fact is they both broken and need eachother very bad but the sense of pride that they got made them not to and a very good love story ends for nothing cuz I believe anything can be handled

crazy8000 · Answer

Some guys feelings die because of her behavior and attitude. is it like that there are nothing to give a shit about, most humans just moves on since there are no feelings, you become one in the bunch that aren't girlfriend material.

Amir_Mercer · Answer

As a guy, I can easily say some guys are idiots, thinking that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, but I swear it's way better to show your emotions than crawl back to some one like a dog.

Just_someone23 · Answer

It all a act. Trying to play the I don't feel emotions game.

brkninpcs70 · Answer

Because men are supposed to be strong erase to be the protectors of the providers can't show emotions, but it doesn't mean they're not hurting trust me if they cured one little tiny bit they hurt

Hunter7754 · Answer

We dont really have the option. We just get shamed and told to man up. We do not have the luxury of being emotionally open and vulnerable.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Maybe they legitimately don't care. Let's be honest: relationships are a lot of work. Sometimes we just feel free when it's over.

Shaniqua_Shaniqua · Answer

All theses BLACK daddys runnin’ out after hittin’ that booty... I know sister but least we get that NICE FAT CHECK when they gone!! 😤😤😤

DiscomfortZone · Answer

What do you expect? You want a guy to be mentally sick with pain and misery over losing you? Yeah, good luck with that. After a breakup - you are nothing, and that's just how it should be.

JadDaher · Answer

So they seem more badass and confident which might not really work and they start to look like s bunch of jerks

rockrewls · Answer

Because immature, mindgaming, manipulators, piss an individual (men/women) off so it's easy to walk away and be happy, moving on to something much better.

MDollarBill · Answer

Guys are better able to compartmentalize events and move on. It's what enables us to go to war, or play all-out against a friend. (Notice how bloodied boxers can still "hug it out" after a brutal match.)

Kdude010 · Answer

Cause life goes on and we have other important issues to worry about like our life, career, finally having the time to work towards that promotion we wanted before being occupied with the relationship, etc.

Why do guys act like they don't care after you're broken up?

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