Would you change your family’s surname for a newly found father?

[MrShaun]

A young lady that is dating a gentleman becomes pregnant. She is sure the child is not his and begins raising the child with another man.

Later in life the child, now fully grown, requires an organ transplant. The reality comes about that the man he has come to know as his father is not his father. The mother confesses that this other gentleman is his actual dad.

The other gentleman is thrilled about finding out he is the boy's father. He never had any other children and is a perfect match for the transplant. He has one request, however. He wants his son's surname to reflect his. He is the only son to his father and this is the only hope for continuing the name. It means a change to his son's surname, his wife's married surname and their children.

Should the name change be expected? If you were part of this family, what would you do?

Updates

1 mo

I should explain assumed father dropped out of the picture within two years. He was abusive and never held down a job. Mom used her maiden name and the same for her son. The only parent the child ever knew was his mom.

The actual father is happy to have a son and wants to correct the fact his son has his bloodline. He's excited to see the name corrected on the birth record, all his certificates and wants to be involved in his new family's life.

[AviatorTom]

The biological father should back off. The child is already used to his name. There's no reason to change it, other than the biological father's selfishness.

Fir the same of the child, I would do my best to convince him to back off. If he doesn't, and there is no organ transplant, the son will die and he will have no continuing of the name.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[AviatorTom]

@MrShaun Thinking more about this...
If the biological father doesn't back off, I'd change names so that my child can get the organ transplant and live. Then, as soon as that happens, I'd change names back to the original.

[exitseven]

Nope, this guy bailed out when i was a baby. He is a creep putting conditions on an organ transplant. I would figure out another way to get the organ

[MrShaun]

I think you misread the details.

The guy that was initially assumed to be the father was the guy that bailed.

The gentleman that was the actual father was told otherwise early on and stepped away from the mother because she was having another man's child. He didn't find out he was the father for many years later.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I wouldn't change my name, no. I would hope that he wouldn't be selfish enough to force a name change on a child just save their lives. I don't think I could ever forgive him if he did.

[MrShaun]

I appreciate the comment but I'm rather surprised.

The young man grew up never knowing his father; always assuming he was a jerk who left his mother to raise him on her own. Now he finds out that his actual father is a really good guy and would have been willing to help raise him if he only had the chance. He only went by his mother's maiden name and now actually has a father that wants to be a part of his life, his wife's life and grandkid's life.

I'd think getting his name corrected would be an added bonus.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Well, first off, your update about the other guy being abusive came later so that might have affected my answer, but in retrospect, i'd still say no unless the intention was to marry him (which given the circumstances doesn't seem like the case if I already left him for someone else).

The child would just stay with my maiden name and my comment about him requiring a name change to donate an organ would stand. I get it from his perspective, however, we aren't married and what if I ended up marrying someone else and they are a good guy too that wanted to adopt my child legally? Should I ignore that possibility of a name change there to the legal last name I have taken?

If my child is an adult then he'd be free to go by whatever he chooses to.

[Agape93]

If it was legal, id kill every last one of them to get @valentina4eva a snickers bar from the dollar store. A name change? That's beyond nothing.

[valentina4eva]

Agapeeee😮😮 no killing people plsss🥺 do u want me to show u how to buy a snickers bar without killing anyone?😅

[Agape93]

God you're so fucking cute. Name both your legs snickers so I can open em up and eat the goodness in the middle 😉

[valentina4eva]

omggggg😂🤣😂

[Agape93]

Lol. Want a joke?

[valentina4eva]

yess i want to hear a joke!!😅

[Agape93]

If you drop an emo girl and an apple from a tree at the same time, which will hit the ground first?

[valentina4eva]

hmmm🤔 i want to say the 🍎 because of less air resistance, but i feel like that’s not going to be the right answer?🤔😅😅

[Agape93]

It is the apple, because the rope will catch the emo before she hits the ground

[valentina4eva]

ohh noooo😭😭

[Agape93]

Lol.

[valentina4eva]

u are banned from jokes noww missy!!😅🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

[Agape93]

Wait until you see my dark humor

[valentina4eva]

it gets worsee?😬😅😂

[Agape93]

Oh so so much worse lol

[Agape93]

Like here's the last tame one for today. Why am i jealous of a ceiling fan?

[valentina4eva]

now im afraid to answer lol😅🥺

[valentina4eva]

whyyy?

[Agape93]

Nobody cuts down the fan

[valentina4eva]

banned from all jokes & all joke-related activities!!🏮🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

[Agape93]

Lol. Have you ever heard of a reverse exorcism?

[valentina4eva]

nooo😬 only take the demons OUT plsss

[Agape93]

It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child

[valentina4eva]

omggg!!😵😵

[valentina4eva]

tell me a nice jokeeee😭

[Agape93]

Ok here's one. What does my dad coming to my first baseball game, and my first time, have in common?

[valentina4eva]

hmmm🤔🤔 i donno😅

[Agape93]

At the end I was bloody and bruised, but at least he came

[valentina4eva]

😂🤣😂 truuuu lol

[valentina4eva]

okiee u can have joke privileges back, but i got my eye on u 👀

[Agape93]

Lol rather have your lips on me 😏

[Marshast]

Without life, there can’t be an identity to hold on to. He is happy to be his father on that crucial day.

[msc545]

This is useless and simply performative and will cause the child to have a lot of trouble going forward.

[molonski2]

What age is the kid at the time?

[Nikki1989]

Nope.

[Alexson_stormzy]

That depends if he's very aspiring and promising

[Micheal6918]

If it is compulsory