Why do guys ignore their ex after breaking up?

Question

After breaking up, my ex didn't unfriend me but he ignored all my texts, and finally it's me who block him. Why does he do that? If he doesn't need me anymore, why doesn't he unfriend me but just ignore? I hate the way he ignores me

jennyPuss · Accepted Answer

you getting mad and blocking him is the equivalent of a rage quite when your team loses and you think its everyone else's fault but its actually yours. he's being the mature one. you are the one who can't decide what they want. decisions are forks in the road. you have to decide one direction or another and you don't know where either one will take you. it's possible both could end up in a bad place, it's possible both could end up in a good place, and it's possible one could take you someplace great while the other takes you to a bad place. that's called life. you can't predict the future. all you can do is attempt to mitigate uncertainty with good character. being a loyal and faithful partner helps to mitigate the uncertainty that you might break up- usually an outcome that most people would want to avoid at the onset of a relationship. you broke up with him but want to maintain contact with him. that's a counterproductive behavior. he's ignoring you because he's mature. he didn't need to officially block you on social media because he has self control. what you need to do is grow some balls. i know that's hard because you have a vagina. but if you want him to respect you (which is bro language is the only way he'll respond to you, by the way) you have to speak to him on HIS WAY of thinking. pestering him with messages after you've broken up is woman talk and he's done with that.

sit down for awhile- however long it takes. go to the beach alone. sit in your closet and close the door. go for a walk. i don't care. think hard if you want to DECIDE that you want to be with him. if the answer is yes- then you must act accordingly to a proper decision. any wishy-washy-ness will instantly ruin any chances with him. don't fuck with me on this point because you will lose i guarantee it.

next, type or hand write him a letter. in the letter simply state that you have had time to think about the breakup and all of the factors that you believed were contributing factors to the breakup. tell him you're sorry for your part of the breakup. (because you played a part. if you attempt to put the fault of the entire breakup on him you have absolutely no chance with him)

don't tell him you love him. tell him that you respect him very very much and that you think that the issues can be fixed and you're willing to make it happen if he will consider talking about it with you. if you tell him you love him it's game over. you have to tell him you respect him. leave it short.

PunkinPie · Accepted Answer

Often the blocking or unfriending is perceived as an additional insult, so he probably doesn't want to upset you further.

From what you said, three things are likely to me:

1. He's hurt you wanted to break up, especially since you say his finances are partly to blame, and that's a serious blow to his ego. So he really doesn't want to talk to you.

2. He may be relieved because long-distance relationships are very hard and lonely, and now he can date girls who are actually in his surroundings.

3. You regret it but it's too late. Likely you feel lonely now but you don't really love him or you wouldn't have asked to break up in the first place. Time to be a big girl and move on.

milettescheepers · Accepted Answer

you do the same now. ignore him too. if he decides to message you one day ignore him again and wait for the next message before you reply and then just reply briefly by saying speak to you later im at this awesome wedding and then you wait for the next message from him. and thats how you do it!

HeyThereDreamer · Accepted Answer

After reading your question and your answers to some of the comments guys have asked you, I conclude the following:

1) The break up was not mutual. If you say it is mutual, it means that the both of you agreed to do so. But this is not the case here. He told you to break up, you got angry and said yes. So it wasn't a proper agreement between the both of you, thus not a mutual breakup.

2) Perhaps he didn't unfriend you because he was leaving space for the both of you to be friends sometime in the future. But whatever the case might be, he ignored your messages (most likely) because he does not want to have anything to do with you as of now (you guys broke up if you haven't realised that by now). So give him space and give yourself space to heal.

3) For completeness, I will add that your action of blocking him in response to him ignoring your texts also goes to show how much he really means to you. He could have blocked you after you sent him messages, but he didn't. Instead, you chose to block him perhaps as a way of showing him "so you're not replying to me now, goodbye". With respect, that is a very immature action that you just proved to him. Like I said earlier, he probably didn't unfriend you because he wanted to leave a window of opportunity for future friendship.

In conclusion, he is your ex now, the breakup was not mutual, give him space and you get some space yourself, and understand that by blocking him you probably threw all future opportunities of contact out the window. And, some parting advice, I hope you find a better guy like he told you to because if he said that it most likely means he doesn't truly like you for who you are.

Kota-the-Unhearted · Accepted Answer

For some guys it's our way to punish ourselves. We ignore our ex so we don't hurt them but we don't unfriend because subconsciously we still want there to be something to hold onto

sineater8 · Answer

Men usually distance themselves from their partners after a break up for many reasons. First obviously is that emotionally they may feel betrayed or guilty, depending on how relationship ended and need time to heal. Second a man can’t really disassociate his sexual and emotional feelings for a woman once he’s had a relationship with her, and being in close proximity to a woman who was once so available to him can be emotionally and psychologically frustrating especially when the break up is fresh. For these reasons and some others, a man will typically distance himself from an ex, don’t take it personal it just how a man reacts in these situations..

GingerGuy · Answer

Depends on the circumstances of the break up. If it's painful for him, you're a reminder of that so he needs to cut off all ties with you to move on with his life, and/or, to get over you. Maybe in time, he can "be friends", but right now, he needs to do this.

Wolframium · Answer

I try as much as I can to be rational. Now. In past, I have been different. I never stalked them, though. I was too occupied with my pain. And I knew, that they aren’t. So, there was hate with that pain.
Today, I would solve things differently. If there would be such event (which kind of implies, that I had girlfriend, which, as we all know, isn’t possible), then I would enter the “lock” state. Remove her from everywhere, to reduce chance of random seeing online, and for real life…I don’t really have an answer. There is next to 0 chance, that I would bump into her, so I guess I just don’t have to do anything. It the situation would require this, I would block her. Everywhere. But I just cannot see myself doing this.
She would be in ex-right-after-break-up category, which is the worst. My focus would be on myself.
But all of this depends on the break up. I have something not pretty in my head, like she leaving me because of another guy, as it was in the past.

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

I think girls and guys just look at life differently especially when it comes to relationships. Sure, there are couples in this world who break up and remain friends and do the whole friends with benefits stuff. But overall, guys don't care about preserving a relationship with a girl if the relationship ends. Let's say a girl broke up with me and she still respected me as a person and wanted to be in her life.

I personally would be confused because I would think, if I mean that much to you, why break up? A guy's reasoning behind it is what's the point, I don't want to be her guy friend and listen to her girl problems that's what a girl's girlfriends are for. Take away the sex, passion and lovey dovey stuff and a guy will say f-it and move on.

CheshireCat89 · Answer

After a break up of any kind, even amicable ones, it is best to give each other time and space. For any potential of friendship in the future both of you need this.

It is way to easy to slide back into patterns, often dysfunctional ones. Sticking to no contact, for at least 2 or 3 months, give it a better chance.

In your case, it's likely that he doesn't hate you or feel the need to unfollow/unfriendly you, but can't really really talk with you either.

maijin · Answer

not all guys... it depends on the reason.. eg I broke up with my girlfriend after I found her dating someone n don't let me know... still then I said if u find better one tell me honestly... m not gonna force u... n till now m willing to talk anytime if she wanted to...

Nice_Guy_Last · Answer

There's any number of reasons: some guys just want to put past feeling behind them and get on with their lives; for some guys the feeling is still to raw, and the contact would open the wound in their heart; lastly, they might not be able to stand their ex, and don't want to have anything to do with them.

Anonymous · Answer

Because he wants to stick with his desicion. I know when I break up with someone it's hard to continue to talk because he tried convincing me non stop and making me feel bad about it. I needed to step away for a while, clear my thoughts just like he had to.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Cause you're an ex, duh. Whats the point im speaking to someone you're no longer romantically involved with? It just makes it awkward trying to be friends. I dont get how people can buddies after breaking up but couldnt stay together..

susil · Answer

it depends maybe he still wants to stalk you or see your updates well u made the right decision because ur body ain't waiting for nobody specially who treats u that way

Blake0048 · Answer

because he's single now and doesn't need you. He's got other girks he needs to fuck why should he be talking to you? Thats just silly if you ask me

BellePepper · Answer

Sometimes it's just easier for people to ignore their ex so they can move on better

mattmanyah · Answer

it's hard to deal with them. there's a reason why I broke up with them and by talking to him I might fall back into a bad habit. so it's best just avoid them as much as possible until I get used to being alone.

Tdieseler · Answer

Umm... he is a guy, he doesn't care about all that shit. Im still "friends" on social media with people i dislike a lot.
I just have the time to put in the effort to start "unfriending" or deleting anything. Ignoring is the best option.

denisenic01e · Answer

He needs space & some time to heal from the break-up.. He wanted to stay friends with you, that's why he didn't delete you.. But he just needed a break from communicating to let any feelings calm down.

SherbertShark · Answer

I don't use Facebook so let me tell you why I ignored my ex after breaking up.  Because no matter which way you slice it, the kid wasn't mine.

geonator · Answer

I would argue that if a person wants a relationship with someone but doesn't wanna talk to them if they don't have the relationship, then their intentions aren't in the right place. They're not actually aiming to value the person as a person. In the case of a breakup though they might just be aiming to move on but if that's the case he needs to actually state that, not just ignore you

IdekButHey · Answer

he ignores but doesn't block because he wants to still keep an eye on you and how things are going, maybe there are still feelings and he needs to figure things out

Prof_Don · Answer

Dwelling on a past relationship is such a waste of time... ESPECIALLY if she broke up with me. No way am I wasting time and energy on a woman who dumped me. Too much pride.

M1402 · Answer

the real question is why you kept texting him, I'm not trying to sound rude but he's obviously ignoring you because he just may want to move on and i suggest you do the same

Cosytoasty · Answer

He is your ex, why do you care enough to hate? If you cared so much why did you break up?

Anonymous · Answer

Because you are our EX... you are garbage to us.
He didn't remove you because he still wanted to see what you were up to, but he didn't want to have contact with you.

Girls who think we can be "friends" after a break up forget that the ONLY reason we are ever "friends" in the first place is that we want to have sex with you. Once that is off the table, you are useless to us.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

It's normal to have little contact: you have to rip off the band-aid or else it will hurt more and longer. It's not reasonable to break up but still expect him to be your emotional crutch.

Anonymous · Answer

He's got no reason too. My ex told me "don't be a stranger" after breaking up. I was okay with that since it was more of a sad breakup. But she never once, not once contacted me after that. I did contact her a few times but she treated me like a Martian.

As hard as it is you need to move on and find someone else.

Rissyanne · Answer

You need to leave him alone and move on. It's the best thing for you and him.

hiphopbean · Answer

well it's really hard to unfriend your ex, this is kinda punishment for her (which she obviously deserves). Although i never had a chance to see a breakup.

RedVulcan · Answer

1. Girls do it too 2. Because talking to an ex after an emotionally charged breakup is hard and painful to do. I'd ignore or unfriend a potential ex as a rule.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Cause he needs to forget about you so he doesn't miss you and feels sad. That way he can move on and concentrate on other things on his life, and eventually dating someone else.

Anonymous · Answer

Ok, really? What part of "ex" is that difficult to understand.

Heartonmysleeve88 · Answer

Have you seen The Shining? Whenever the kid saw something disturbing, he would look away, count to 10 and it would disappear. It is basically the same principal. If you don't acknowledge it, it goes away.

browneyedgirl88 · Answer

you broke up, there is no reason to stay in contact

JTHD812 · Answer

My most recent ex was a b- so I ignore her. My other ex's I remain friends with.

clampfan101 · Answer

Maybe he does still have feelings, but is afraid history will repeat and you'll separate again and is in conflict of wether or not he wants to take the risk.
Well, I personally would always want to go back to friendship.

tyber1 · Answer

It's tough to move on from your ex when you're talking all the time.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

We don't. We sometimes want to keep fucking them, honestly. But we don't want to date them (for whatever reasons led to the breakup), just keep fucking them, which some girls aren't interested in sadly.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

He wants to see you in pain. Blocking him was the best thing to do. Past is in the past, an ex is their for a reason.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do girls stop having sex with a guy when they've broken up? When you figure that out, flip it around. Same reason guys ignore girls after break up.

TheSpartan · Answer

Men develop very-strong emotional bonds with women they love, and the only way they can break them is by cutting-off all contact. Even then, I can guarantee you he's heartbroken.

MrAdams · Answer

Being friends with ex or even being in touch is bad thing in my opinion.

Rojaasu · Answer

why would he want to talk to you you are an ex and why are you annoyed he is an ex go your separate ways

xymphony0 · Answer

I did the same thing on my ex and I asked her of all people why chat with me? She blocked me afterwards. Tbh on the first place do not chat with your ex if its casual talk. It will only bring back bad memories. 😂

bekkesmash · Answer

Guys don't actually want to be friends with girls, once the relationship is finished there isn't anything left we want you for.

Dale1982 · Answer

You broke up. Your either in all the way or out all the way. Otherwise it's just a headfuck

_Please · Answer

you have it tough, can't say anything more. Sorry :( (he;s trying to ignore you)

SHAHRUKH889 · Answer

well we r just friends I mean my ex and me and she has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend and we r happy though..

Samyelson · Answer

Your question doesn't ring true. I am still a friend with one ex, and an acquaintance with another.

maturedlibra · Answer

he didn't unfriend you because he is still spying with whom u r talking ir chatting bla bla, but you did the right way to block him

Djaaay · Answer

I never return to an ex , it's over at that point... there's a reason they 're an ex..

UltraGamer · Answer

Well I would do the same, I dont hate you so I wouldn't block you but ignoring you is the best way to forget.

naraku · Answer

He would be upset and hurt that you broke up , So he doesn't want to talk or anything.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Why wouldn't they? You're exes, unless there are kids you don't need to talk to each other.

Jonathan1989 · Answer

Your in the past. Like me if i need sex i call prostitutes for that. Forget about an ex. Your in the past i dont want to hear from you anymore

Anonymous · Answer

Because I'm fucking ignorant, and she knows that, that's why she left :)

DiegoO · Answer

My ex ignores me, don't generalize, I know it's easy but is not right.

HereComesDrTran111 · Answer

Because females have no legal consequences for assault nor vandalism.

michael45 · Answer

Why wouldn't they? You're the past and there's no reason to even communicate.

Justinaveragedude · Answer

Because it makes it easier to move on with our lives.

ChilldEdge · Answer

Because it's cringey to have relations after and they don't want other girls to think they are cheating.

Nahid1234 · Answer

i. Should. Have. Done. That. To. Mine. But. i. Treated. Her. With. So. Much. Respect. And. Understanding.

ZSean · Answer

why would I feel obliged to keep contacting an ex.. and why would you keep texting him..

Why do guys ignore their ex after breaking up?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys ignore their ex after breaking up?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.