When they break up, why don't guys seem like they're sad about it?

Question

I broke up with my ex cuz he cheated for 5 months already. He keeps fucking with a new girls but he still try to contact me once in 2 weeks and he doesn’t seem sad about our break up. But why does he still tryna talk to me ,? When he doesn’t even feel sad about our relationship

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You were dating a top 10% guy - a "Chad" - a guy who can easily get lots of girls. Those are the guys that most women find most attractive, often irresistible, but those guys also have unlimited options with women, and so they almost never take women or relationships seriously. Why? Because they can replace you so easily. Your ex likely has 100 girls in his phone that would all come running if he called them - even if some were in another relationship already.

Unless you were virtually a 10/10 in every way, a top 10% guy is going to think of you much like you think about a fast food paper napkin - you can be useful for a short period of time, but once he's gotten his use out of you, he will wad you up and throw you away and never give you another thought. There's plenty more just like you waiting in line for their turn with him.

You can either have casual (mostly sexual) short-term relationships with Chads, or you can lower your outward standards and pick a guy who has far less "Instagram value" but actually wants a relationship and takes you seriously.

It isn't possible to get both in the same package. It's easier to find an 8-legged unicorn with gills.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

He has not suffered a loss as yet. Imagine this, you are at dinner with a big buffet of amazing options... sandwiches, desserts, fruit, salad, all sorts of meats. The chef comes out and says they are taking away the sandwiches but everything else stays.

Are you upset? Not very much... maybe you wanted a sandwich, but there is so much more to fulfill you.

This guy is dining on a buffet of females. He probably understands women, maybe a bit narcsisstic (e. g. selfish, doesn't feel or care). The mother that raised him and the ensuing females he is predating on are to blame for training, valuing, and spoiling... a brat.

Guys in general hide their pain and mask it with what feels good, we are conditioned that way so as not to look weak.

RuthWBauer · Accepted Answer

In this situation, everyone's motivation and behavior may be different.

Emotionally unstable: Even after he's cheated and started a relationship with a new girl, he may still feel emotionally unstable. He may want to keep in touch with you for emotional support or to fill the void he may feel in the new relationship.

Guilt and regret: Although he doesn't appear to be sad about the breakup, he probably feels guilt and regret on some level. Keeping in touch with you could be his way of trying to make up for his mistakes or seek forgiveness.

Controlling and Manipulative: Some people try to stay in touch with their ex after a breakup for controlling and manipulative purposes. He may want to maintain some level of power and control, or may be trying to win back your attention and attention.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

That's not on guys, that's on That Guy In Particular.

My male exes took months to get over our relationship. So did I.

The problem here is you were in a relationship. He was juggling fuckbuddies.

He wouldn't be broken up because he didn't value YOU, he only cared he got to smash when he wanted.

He isn't worth your feelings or your time.

Release and let go. And make sure the next guy you date is on the same page regarding what you're looking for in a relationship.

PizzaDaddyo · Answer

Yeah yo this dude seems a bit toxic to not cut ties with the other woman before reconnecting with you. He must think he really got it going on talking to multiple women. He must get boners from his own ego. We don’t know his motives but, he’s not being real with anyone right now. Ima guess this other girl may not know even about you at all. Unless she’s snooping around for information or you know this girl if she found out about you she’s gonna stay quiet. If he wasn’t sad to loose you he must have never been happy or happier with you. You need someone happy to see you. Someone who loves you!

Craftsman · Answer

They seem like they are not as affected by a break-up, though often they simply hide their feelings. I know that's the case with me. Two relationships. I used to work some horrendous hours at some parts of the year, so both women had ample time to themselves. Both found others, enjoyed their attentions in my bed at times, and whom they eventually married. Me? I'm still sad for what could have been, but wasn't. I still have the feelings, and cover them still by being a volunteer in community safety and teaching disaster preparedness.

molonski2 · Answer

He's a fck boy , thats where he is at on his life cycle , he is a young guy , nothing wrong with that , he has plenty of company of course he wants to keep you there as an option , honestly , if I were advising him I'd say " just keep in touch bro , things change " , now you can either respond ( knowing what he is ) , or you can simply ignore him , but many women will weaken and then you are back on his " list " ..

Sad? Maybe in his own way , but just a young guy spreading his seed , thats the facts ot it.

Pyrofox · Answer

Probably cause they already have moved on. A lot of women assume they have value but that value is only as much as they give to the relationship. So ironically when they stop bringing value its a lot easier to just let go and or deaden that relationship for guys. Plus the cat's out of the bag when it comes to women. There are also more women/fish for guys to catch than there are male fish. Something that most guys are also aware of. As a result its now on women to keep the men and not the other way around.

MementoMori777 · Answer

In your situation if he's messing with other girls, it doesn't seem like he ever really cared but normally a guy doesn't like to show emotions but they will be in their feelings on their own time when they are alone, showing it to others is a form if weakness to a man, or at least we see it that way.

Rapport · Answer

He probably isn't sad about it because he has other girls he can be with and pretty much using you as a back burner in case the the girls he's talking to aren't giving him any action.

Considering he's been cheating on you consistently for a whole 5 months before it's safe to say that he doesn't really value the relation he has with you.

exitseven · Answer

I have been dumped in the most cruel way and I just sat there and put on my poker face. After a whaile I got up and drove away. Ten minutes later I pulled my car over, got out and puked.

That is what guys do.

DizzyDesii · Answer

A lot are. They just mask it behind eating food, attending the gym, playing video games and seeking new pussi. I mean is it really that different for us girls? I might cry for a day. But then I’m off flirting the sadness away 🤣

nitsuj86 · Answer

They are, when they actually care. Sounds like this guy didn't like you that much to begin with. Which is why he cheated on you, and didn't really seem to care.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i'm sorry... i really don't know the answer but try to stop contacting. i think some men will realize your gone once you are really gone. move on and find fotever on someone else

SnowedIn · Answer

Guys process emotion differently. Just because you don't think he's sad or see that he's sad doesn't mean he's not.

Unit1 · Answer

Ah, yes, the good all time classic, that never gets old. One of the top 20% of men, that can get most women easily and cheats on all of them. What was the expectation? Converting him to a faithful and monogamous husband?

Anonymous · Answer

Because we aren't sad. This isn't rocket science, this is a classic example of girls over thinking things and refusing, absolutely REFUSING to believe that we are as simple as we appear to be.

juene · Answer

To emotionally torture you by giving you false hopes and keeping you in contact. Also for sex. If you really want to move on, do the NO CONTACT RULE. It helps a lot.

RingOfFire · Answer

You are getting into relationships with the wrong kind of guy. That is immature and shallow behavior. You need someone more mature with a deeper heart and soul who won't play those games with you.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Hate to say this but if he isn’t sad, and he cheated….. Did you ask why he has cheated on you more than once?

AydenHazor · Answer

He's not sad cause he's already getting what he wants from his side chick. He's still contacting you hoping he can play on your emotions to get back into your pants too

007kingifrit · Answer

well he still has a steady supply of sex, so that's why. if guys aren't sad its because you're dating guys who can easily get more sex elsewhere, there are plenty of other men who would be sad

Fireguy17 · Answer

Many times, they have already moved on before the breakup, so it isn't a shock, and they may have already found someone else.

Sasha0426 · Answer

Keyword: Cheater  Cheaters don’t really care. He only wants you back so he can continue hurting you. You took that power away from him and he’s upset. Good choice on breaking up with him 👍

LiamJHayden · Answer

In your situation I think he was not sad because he did not really care about  you  as an individual.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Example, of when I've been dumped: "Oh well Alicia. I really liked u, but oh well you're replaceable.. Jus'like a pair uh socks". ( And She wz Mad''! )

TrillXHippy · Answer

If I was in a relationship and my girlfriend broke up with me for a different reason I would feel sad about it.

dudeinohio · Answer

We are sad but we move on quickly. A new relationship eliminates any pain.

In_Trance · Answer

In a lot of cases they are; they're not going to show you though

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

He's not sad cause he knows your gonna take him back and you know it too you just mad right now be honest

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Sad about what? He don't love you. He proved it to you already.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

If a guy cheats on you, isn’t that a sign in itself that he must not really care about you?

Molly1997 · Answer

Cause he just doesn’t care

Nahid1707 · Answer

You should move on 😊

Anonymous · Answer

Why should they?

spartan55 · Answer

For sex duh.

RHK36 · Answer

Stop dating players.

Anonymous · Answer

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When they break up, why don't guys seem like they're sad about it?

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