We were dating for 2 months and made it official this month. Within the first week he broke up with me because he felt we moved too fast and wasn’t sure about this. He apologized and I forgave him. On and off he made lots of negative comments and jokes that showed he doesn’t really trust me. I told him that I really hope that he feels he can trust me bc I give him my trust. This is now my time of the month, and I told him this is a rough time for me emotionally. So my guy best friend had a bday party which he invited us to. He already met him before and he knew about him long before we became a couple. I never hang out w him unless he’s there now. I asked him to come w me to the party if he didn’t want to come it’s no big deal. He took me saying “it’s no big deal” as suspicious bc it seemed like I was up to something with my guy friend and didn’t want him around. I thought that was ridiculous but I still talked to him about it. He was very defensive and not trying to hear anything I was saying, it ended up in a fight and I started to cry. He told me to go alone.
I called him back and asked if he will still go. He agreed and I went to pick him up. When we got there I accused him of looking at a girl. I felt it was kinda like a lesson to show him how I felt but I did feel he was looking. It was immature, I know. I thought he wasn’t upset though. We weren’t talking a whole lot, it was awkward but we were talking to everyone else. I had to drop another guy off, my friend’s friend bc no one else wanted to do it. I asked what he did for Christmas. He said he was alone. I told him he needs to talk to someone and maybe they were lonely too. My boyfriend thought I was talking about myself, I told him “why would I tell him that”. he told me how he was mad I accused him and how I wasn’t talking to him much. I told him I’m so sorry that affected him and I wish he would have told me then and there and I would have fixed it. He was not trying to hear it and broke up w me.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
My advice is to be very strong and not take him back. I’m sure you love him but you can’t live your life constantly tiptoeing around his insecurities and paying for what his ex (or ex’s) did to ruin his trust. You do not require that of him, or make him work so hard to earn your trust, so why put yourself through the wringer trying to prove yourself to him? The things you put yourself through to give him peace of mind are only because he has boundaries and is committed to upholding them. It’s either deal with it or get out, and you fear losing him too much to uphold your own boundaries and instead bend to his. But you’ve got to release that fear and let him go because it’s going to be an endless battle otherwise. You will always be wrong, everything you do will be suspicious, and you’ll always find yourself justifying things simply because that is how his mind works and you can’t change that. So do yourself a favor and break free.
He did you a favor, what a child.
I agree. I do feel guilty for accusing him of looking at another girl to prove my point but I definitely tried to apologize and make it right