Should I break up with my boyfriend over my insecurities?

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if I’m being rational or if my insecurities are blinding my perspective. Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months, and have obviously had some arguments. But I feel the need to break up with him although I love him so much, I’m not sure if he loves me. In the beginning he seemed so excited to talk to me, text me and stayed on the phone with me all day. Now we live together and it seems we don’t talk much, there’s no depth to the conversations. I feel like I annoy him, I ask him all the time if he loves me and if he’s sure he wants to be with me forever and he says yes every time. I’d be heartbroken if we did end things but I also don’t want to be in something where someone doesn’t love like they should. He doesn’t buy me gifts, he’s not a real thoughtful person and I’m not sure if that’s his upbringing or what. It seems like I’m noticing all his faults than his positives and he has noticed this himself and said I need to quit finding the bad in him. Things just seem so dull than when we first got together. Is this how all relationships are? :/

[Changiis07]

You don't have to break up because of that but I see that everything happened so fast. You barely know him for 6 months and yet you already moved in together? not even engaged just like that. Instead of focusing so much on him maybe you should take some days to do things for you. Get your hair, nails done or catch up/make friends. Be happy with YOU and then he will see a change in you and might want to try all those cute things he saw before he had you. Shift your focus and energy from him and start doing things you used to do. Don't lose yourself

[Asker]

That is a very good point. I sorta have lost myself and I regret that. I’m getting back into doing things for me and my hobbies I used to love. Thank you for the advice I definitely will work towards that 😊

[Changiis07]

Make him breakfast just because without expecting anything in return or tell him you'll be back going to hang out with friends etc. I hope it works out for you :)

[blueonblack22]

I ask him all the time if he loves me and if he’s sure he wants to be with me forever and he says yes every time

You need to stop doing that. I do not know why women are so hung up on “verbal” affirmation all the time. When a man loves you will see it in his actions without him having to say it.

And yes you are asking that out of insecurity and yes that is turning him off. Even scaring him tbh. Because he might see you as emotionally unstable and will do something rash like cheating or abruptly leaving him.

You need to be honest with both him and yourself. Honest with him this is a you problem and something you need to straighten out.

[Anonymous]

See that’s the problem w dating. When you start dating someone you think they’re the best because you don’t see them how they really are. Until you move in w each other. That’s usually how it goes w all relationships. But at the same time my first thought was you’re annoying. Then I read that you wrote the same thing. Your insecurities are pushing him away, it does get annoying if you’re constantly asking if he loves you. So you may be the one pushing him away. I wouldn’t breakup w him, but I’d tone it down as far as constantly asking him for reassurance.

[Sonjita]

Ok he doesn't buy ypu gifts but does he buy you food, does he pay your rent?

[Benplus10]

Yes, because you are just going to poison your relationship until you get therapy and sort through your own issues. It’s selfish to make your insecurities a problem to where your boyfriend has to constantly reassure you. Have some confidence in yourself, grow a pair, let go of all that extra baggage

[ThrillSeeker01]

It doesn't sound like he's really into it so maybe it would be better to move on

[strateguy632]

in this case you should break up

[Asker]

Can I ask why you think şo?

[Staximus]

How long have you lived together?