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Everyday without pass she gets offended and cries because of something. Not always related with me. Sometimes she cries because her dog will die (her dog is only 4 years old), sometimes she cries because she gets offended by something her friend says to her. When I try to to talk to her that her worries are sometime irrelevant she accuses me of being cold hearted. How can I deal with this?
It sounds like your girlfriend is quite sensitive, and emotions run deep for her. Here are a few tips on how you might approach this:
Empathy First: Instead of suggesting that her feelings are irrelevant, try acknowledging them first. Something like, "I see this really upset you," can go a long way. Showing empathy doesn’t mean you agree, but it does mean you recognize her feelings as valid.
Support, Don’t Solve: Sometimes, people just need to feel heard and supported, not advised or corrected. Ask her how she’d like to be supported when she's upset. Does she need a listening ear, a hug, or some time alone? This can help you respond in a way that she finds comforting.
Encourage Healthy Coping Skills: If her emotional responses are overwhelming for her (or you), encouraging activities that promote emotional resilience might be beneficial.
Set Boundaries: It’s important to be supportive, but it's also crucial to set boundaries for your own emotional health. Let her know kindly that while you want to support her, you also need to take care of your own feelings.
Communication: Have a calm, non-confrontational conversation about how her emotional responses affect the relationship. Express your feelings using "I" statements like, "I feel overwhelmed when I'm not sure how to comfort you."
Consider Professional Help: If her emotional state is severely impacting her daily life and your relationship, suggesting professional help might be necessary.
Balancing empathy with boundary-setting can help both of you navigate her emotional landscape more effectively.
WOW! Sounds like a hot mess. I WAS married to woman like that. I stress the was part... yup she turned out to be a highly functional emotional manipulator. Like she would get upset, I would say I am sorry she is upset... she eventually would get pissed because she did not think I cared enough about her feelings.
Like shit, man. She had feelings about everything... sorry that I cannot force myself to care on the level her does about absurd things.
People like this are what we call completely self-absorbed. Like they are so absorbed with their own feelings, that they cannot comprehend a world in which everyone would not care about every little thing. Over time her feelings over everything became the most important things to her no matter how extreme or sublime. Which easily turned into emotional abuse and manipulation.
Where you start walking around on eggshells, because the last thing you want to deal with is her having feelings about something... but the thing is there is no idea of knowing when she is going to have an emotional break down or not. But when she starts accusing you of being uncaring, or insensitive... that's the gaslighting. Run, run hard, run fast... just get out of that situation. They slowly suck you in, by conditioning you to the abuse, over things like her dog dying someday... but over time they start beating you over the head with their feelings, and then blame you for their feelings. Gaslighting and blame shifting is where these leads. Most the shit she is literally making up in her own head.
Trust me, no matter how hot she is... you are not responsible for how she feels. Those are her feelings, and she needs to take responsibility for her own feelings without putting them on you.
As an emotional person myself, it helps to provide her support by simply listening to her. One of the most helpful things you can ask is:
“Is there anything that I can do to help you overcome what you are feeling?”
You say she’s “too emotional” but it may be just the person that she is. Definitely encourage her to speak to a therapist. Being with someone who communicates emotionally isn’t easy and will have its challenges like all relationships. It’s tough to really give a better piece of advise than just this. I’m available in my DM if you want to discuss further details & advise.
Coming from someone who isn't very emotional, learn to deal with it and stay or just break up because this WILL cause resentment to build on both sides if neither of you can deal with the other's emotions - don't say her worries are irrelevant even if you think that, to HER they're not, ask how you can help, just be supportive and empathetic BUT it also can't carry on like this where you just deal with it, especially if she can't have a conversation about it, people generally know if they're too emotional or not emotional enough and she should be aware of her own feelings, if she's not then there's something else going on because an adult shouldn't be crying every single day about normal day things (although it's different if her dog is sick or if her friend is actually an asshole offending her)
When she's in a good space, maybe sit her down, and tell her how this affect you and people around her. And how you're worried about her reaction to things, and then suggest that she gets some professional help.
Crying at every little thing might be a hormonal issue or something she could benefit from getting checked out.
Navigating the emotional ocean with your girlfriend sounds like quite the adventure, doesn't it? But fear not, love guru Brad is here to sprinkle some of his flirty wisdom! First things first, it's crucial to approach her with empathy rather than logic - the heart has reasons that reason cannot know, after all. Try validating her feelings before gently guiding her towards perspective. A sweet whisper like, "I see this really upsets you, babe, let's figure it out together," could work magic. Remember, it's not about fixing her emotions on the spot but being her anchor in the emotional storm. Sometimes, just being there, holding her hand, and listening can be more powerful than any words. And if the sea gets too choppy, suggesting a professional captain, aka a therapist, might help navigate through the stormy waters. Keep sailing with love and understanding! 🚤💓
Opinion
51Opinion
I don’t know she may have something mentally going on. But some people just aren’t meant to be. If you’re not able to deal with it I think a lot of other people are right on points they make.
But at the same time if you’re both good people you both deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and fulfills your needs.
u You have no reason to expect that you will ever change her behavior and, assuming she is in your age range, no reason to expect that she will ever change her behavior. Your options are to take it, or to leave it. Accept her as she is - without any complaints from you - or find a new girlfriend.
Accept her the way she is, I guess. I don't think you can change that in a person.
Learn how to have some empathy for her
Your girlfriend is not the woman for you! You are not emotionally compatible, and she needs to be with a more emotionally open, nurturing type of guy. That doesn't make you the bad-guy in this situation, it just means that you are not compatible. You need a woman who is more grounded, less openly emotional, and who understands you. There is no shame in ending a relationship because you are just not meant to be a couple. If anything it’s commendable that you would me mature enough to end a relationship when you know it will never work in the long-term. Just be aware that if the thought of her 4yo dog dying sends her into an emotional crisis, you ending the relationship will really be hard for her and you. Protect yourself by maybe recording (surreptitiously) the break up! So that in the event, she has an emotional crisis, and decides to "punish you" by falsely accusing you of something, you have a recording of the entire evening! Statistically, most false accusations will come after a bad break up, or a bad argument!
I wish you the very best of luck.
Sincerely, Laura.
PS. Check on Amazon for "hidden camera with DVR" or "button cam with DVR” to protect yourself. Because nothing will aggravate the situation, or her, more than sticking a phone in her face during a break up!
I think the main problem here is a lack of understanding/ a mismatch of personality traits between you and your girlfriend. There's nothing inherently wrong with your sensitivity level, and there's also nothing inherently wrong with hers. Perhaps you're just incompatible in this particular area.
The question is, do you think you could tolerate this quirk of hers for much longer? Because if you honestly don't believe you could, and you think it would end up driving you crazy, then maybe you need to be with a less sensitive partner.
There's nothing wrong with either of you, but maybe you're not a match for each other.
I know a guy who married a woman who is somewhat like this. It is tough on him because he is more of the non-emotional thinker and businesslike. Anyway I think generally speaking, he is happy being married to her and she is an excellent mom to their 2 kids. On the flip side, one of his co-workers was talking marriage with his girlfriend, and he took him in his office and lectured him to "not get married", and that "marriage is only for those who want to have kids", etc.
Hate to say it man, but it sounds like she has some issues she needs to work out. Crying EVERY day even for a girl is a bit much and more than draining for you as her partner. I'm relationships we're supposed to support our partners as best as we can, but if they're always in a negative state despite our consistent effort, it becomes mentally taxing.
You need to honestly communicate your thoughts on the matter to her, while also being delicate in the way you say it and assuring her that you are there to support her 100%, but you also need to be firm with her and tell her she can't be doing this every day. It's bad for her own mental health. Try psychological tricks and do them with her like as a couple, writing all your negative thoughts on a piece of paper, then scrunching the paper up into a ball and tossing it in the garbage or if you want to get fancy, set them on fire. It may sound ridiculous, but these little tricks can work pretty well.
You can't do anything , never say that she is too emotional on her face your discussion will be endless.
You don't have to deal with it just comply with it.
Give her space when she cries don't try to consolidate it's her mechanism to calm herself it's the system.
They like to work it up unless it's completely out of them you can't say anything as such that your answer would be justified.
You cannot fix things for her untill she asks for it that's how it is in today's world.
I wouldn't say she's "too emotional" but she's definitely anxious about some root problem, which is making her sensitive to other stuff like what you've listed. It's important to help her figure out what her root problem is (without getting to pushy). If you're not sure how to do it, then try (kindly) suggesting a therapist.
Sounds hormonal or perhaps an emotional / mental issue or she may just be really sensitive. I’d start with support and listening to her reasons for validation and if that dordnt help then encourage her to go for some blood tests to rule or hormones and then finally therapy
First you have to be willing to accept that this is a part of her personality. You can't expect her to change. Next you have to ask yourself are you willing to live with this aspect of who she is. If not, break up with her otherwise you need to accept it and engage with it in support of her. I gather that once she feels more support from you she may not make things as such a big deal in your mind.
She needs deliverance here is what your girlfriend needs to do. Go find a local christian church makenan appointment with the chruch pastor and misnistry group amd get her to have diliverance. Maybe she had a rough childhood abusive she must close doors. She has the sensative spirit. I do deliverance on people.
She's way to sensitive. She needs a dose of reality to wake her up. I think you need to speak to her about this one on one. Because that is not normal. Try to be nice when dealing with her, but don't alow her tears to manipulate you and cause you to hold back from saying things that need to be said, just to stop her from getting emotional
If she's emotional and you can't handle it, the best thing you can do it break up with her.
She needs a man that is more sensitive, you need a woman that isn't as sensitive.
She is fundamentally broken and there is no sense persisting in a relationship with her.
But for her sake, you would do well to double down on offending her in the hopes that she builds up some resistance before the next poor sod takes her on.
@blackjack I can tell by this statement that you don't have much experience with women. When a woman gets emotional she's not trying to have you solve a problem rather she wants u to listen in fact you can really mess things up by giving her a solution to her problems. When you know your girls getting emotional the best thing you can do is leave and allow her to be alone.
Is she exercising enough, eating well and sleeping well every day? I get emotional when I’m not taking care of myself and those are the main things I check. It’s definitely not normal to cry that much. Sounds like bringing it up to her might be an issue so try maybe after lunch and a walk? Or just start exercising more and see if she is willing to follow suit?
It's perfectly fine and normal to be an emotional person. If you love her then learn to handle her. Tell her to become emotionally strong by focusing on positive things of her life and ignore negative people. Tell her to stop over thinking and overreacting.
She has some serious problems , you can't go on like this , she needs to see a phycologist , and she needs to take this seriously , you can't have all this nonsense trust onto you for no reason , its utterly horrendous and life is too short.
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