Is it weird that he doesn’t want to put me as his Home Screensaver anymore?

[Anonymous]

boyfriend and I been together 4 years and he’s put up with my trust issues and insecurities a lot. We been having a bit of a rough patch where we been arguing because he’s tired from work and I need a lot of attention that he gets annoyed having to give 24/7. His phone broke so he recently used his old work phone and took out the tracking they put on it and started using it. He had a different passcode but I have it and I look through though he’s not fond of that either. I noticed he didn’t have me as his Home Screen saver which was a funny pic of me as a nugget and he said he wants to keep his phone simple, I think because he does want to go back to his old phone eventually but he has to fix it so he’s using this one in the mean time. But I’m offended and hurt, am I being over sensitive?

[HollyK21]

Sigh, where to even start. I want to put this as nicely as possible but honey you are single-handedly going to destroy your relationship if you do not start working on this insecurity. Tell us, what did he do to warrant so much distrust? If he cheated, then you already had your chance to leave him if you couldn’t move past it. But choosing to stick around means you make a commitment to putting that behind you, not hold it over his head forever.
If he didn’t cheat or do you wrong then I say this politely but wtf are you doing? You need his password, constant reassurance and a ridiculous amount of attention to please you, but what do you do for him? That shit is draining him, girl. You’re not his screen saver because he’s getting to the end of his rope, and the only way you can have any hope to repair the damage you’ve done is to do better. See a therapist, figure out why you have such a codependent attachment style and what you can do to heal past trauma so you can give him the trust he’s earned.
I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but given what you provided all i can say is to fix this before it’s too late.

[Asker]

He hasn’t cheated from what I’ve known and he’s stuck by my side through all the crap. He sees me every weekend but I sense him getting tired me always needing to see his phone

[HollyK21]

So what makes you feel the need to do that? Were you cheated on in the past?

[Asker]

I feel like he might cheat and I need to always be aware and I’ve dedicated years of my life and in a second it can all go to shit he says he wouldn’t do that to me and he loves me but we been through a lot how could he still love me

[HollyK21]

There are people who have dedicated way more years to a relationship than you and ready to do what they have to do if their man cheats. If that were his intention you can’t stop him no matter what, so why ruin your relationship worrying about it? He hasn’t even done anything to warrant that monitoring anyway and he is entitled to his privacy, just like you. If anything you will push him completely away if you don’t stop this. You should really consider therapy or something to help when you’re having these insecurities. It’s not healthy, it’s not fair, and you know it.

[FifiJones]

Good grief. Do you look at every male as a sex object to be that possesive?

[Twalli]

Yes. I don't have my girlfriend as my phone screensaver, despite the fact I have well over 100 pictures of her on it (most are not nudes).

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, you're being over-sensitive.