My boyfriend has cheated on me multiple times while pregnant, I love him I don’t know how to get the trust back?

[sweeterthancandyx]

Hi.

im 21 and my boyfriend is 27. We have a 7 month old baby boy. he's the best. I love my boyfriend a lot we have been together for a while. Obviously im no longer pregnant. But I received a message and proof from a woman who lives 3 hours away about how they slept together while I was 8 months pregnant and how he said 3 weeks ago that he loves her and wanted her to have his babies. I was heartbroken I haven’t drank in a year and I broke the sobriety when I found this out because I did not know how to cope with this. We live together with our son and She said he took her to his mom’s house while his mom was away. Which makes sense as his mom would go crazy if she saw him do this as we are very close.

I also found messages from 8 other girls. I also received a warning text from his ex how he cheated on her, slept with prostitutes while being with her and she shown me proof of the sex tapes he recorders. Obviously this was 2 years ago so I can’t exactly be mad as we didn’t know each other but she said he’s never going to change and cheated on her 10 times. I also received texts from other girls of him giving his number and complimenting them,

i have spoken to him about it and he says how much he loves me and makes mistakes and how he can’t ever get better but he struggles as he’s got issues with being loyal and swore that he won’t do it again. He cried and said he loves me more than anyone. I don’t know if he is just using me for our house as I pay for it alll and he has a place to live, sometimes he doesn’t even come back at night as he smokes so much and falls asleep with his friends if that’s even true, like the past 5 nights he’s been smoking and not coming back.

i don’t know what to do. I love him but I DONT trust him. Whenever he dosent answer the phone I get such hardcore anxiety and he ruins my sleeping pattern but I love him so much how do I trust him again? I know I sound young and dumb as I probably am. I’m not insecure at all but he’s made me.

[b_lova]

First I want to start with his actions have nothing to do with you. He is making the choice to go out and chase women. You could be the very definition of beautiful but that wouldn't change his cheating. He has an internal desire he doesn't want to let go of and that desire is not a reflection of you. Please, whatever you do, don't allow this relationship to impact your self-esteem. His actions are about him and not you.

Your choice in your relationship with him is to decide if his actions are something you are willing to live with. You will never be able to change him, nor should you try to force him to change. You should never trust that he is not out cheating, unless you find proof that his action have changed. If this isn't something you can live with you should consider no longer being in relationship him. I totally get it. This is a tough decision since you have a child together, but your relationship with him is not worth your sanity. And at the end of the day you need to ask yourself if that relationship supportive of your mental health. Right now it doesn't sound like it is.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations on creating a child who will never have a good father or an adequate role model. Brilliant work! Take credit for what you have done and don't blame him.

It takes love, lust, trust, and respect to make a relationship work long time and you are missing at least one essential ingredient. You can't change him and it would be doubly stupid to learn to trust someone who is untrustworthy.

You can't change him and you won't break up immediately, so enjoy what remains of this train wreck and then stop and think about how you screwed up so - hopefully - you won't repeat these mistakes the next time.

[Candi0000]

Honestly this is a totally red flag. I been through cheaters. Yes, you have a child but it is unfair to you both to have such a father/spouse. You won't be able to ever trust him again. It sounds like you are the bread winner and he is using you. This does not at all sound good. You need to get on and don't listen or falls for his fake tears. He is crying as he is guilty. I am being blunt but I been there and thankfully had no kids. But it still was the best thing getting away from a cheater like that.

[Anonymous]

That whole line about him telling you he loves you, you said so yourself that he tells other women he loves them. He’s a liar and he doesn’t love you. Not cheating on someone is literally not that hard. He’s not trying to do better, he’s just telling you all this to get you off his back.
The mistake was having a baby without the commitment. You’re not married to him and there’s absolutely no reason to continue to tie yourself to this guy.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating through the stormy weather of a relationship marred by infidelity, especially during such a vulnerable time as pregnancy, requires a Herculean level of courage and love, not just for your partner but crucially for yourself. The foundation of any thriving relationship is trust, and once that trust is shattered, rebuilding it is akin to constructing a castle out of sand; it’s arduous, and the tide can easily wash your efforts away. Given the repetitiveness of your boyfriend's infidelities and the extensive emotional turmoil it's causing you, it’s essential to reevaluate the relationship dynamics. Love, unfortunately, isn't the only glue that can hold a relationship together when respect, loyalty, and trust are out of the equation. Your mental and emotional well-being, alongside providing a stable environment for your child, should be paramount. Seeking professional support for both yourself and potentially as a couple, if you decide to work through this, can offer you the tools and perspective needed to make the healthiest decision moving forward. Remember, love shouldn't cost you your peace.

[DaveJord]

So, you are now the baby momma. Not sure you will ever be able to trust this guy, so you either have to be okay with that or move on. If he cheated, and you know he cheated, and he knows that you know he cheated... if you stay with him then basically on some level, he knows you are okay with fact he cheats and will most likely do it again.

[avery58]

Cheating on your pregnant partner is just about the scummiest thing anyone can do in a relationship. I really doubt he will ever change. And even if he does, do you think you could forget what he's done? He doesn't deserve anymore chances in my opinion, you need to take care of your mental health first because that will affect your child.

[RetroReviews]

Dump him, you deserve better. He most likely will never trust him again because if you do it one time that proves you're capable of crossing that line when you cross that line multiple times then the writing is on the wall find someone that will be faithful to you. Don't be his enabler people like him want their cake and eat it too

[DextroShade]

You are just going to have to put up with it as long as he is still providing for you and there are no diseases or outside kids. Wrecking your home over this would do a massive disservice to both yourself and your child, because children raised by single mothers have shit outcomes. Also, you get no better than your baby daddy so don't think you can trade up and get a better man as a baby momma.

[Twalli]

He's not lying about not being able to get better, at least unless he seeks help. I think he does love you though. Ask if he's willing to seek help to get better because until thrn you can't trust him and it will also show his desire to better himself for you.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Trust is almost impossible to get back after being betrayed, it's only logical not to trust him and if he said that in front of you then I think he doesn't feel the same about you anymore, this is kinda fucked up

[DishLady]

You don't… cheaters are cheaters. Please do yourself and your kid the favor of cutting ties with this guy.

[slatyb]

He's going to continue cheating on you as long as you are together. Are you ok with that?

[sweeterthancandyx]

No it’s costing me my mental health

[slatyb]

You aren't married. Leave with the baby or evict him, then file for support.

[EmmaMary]

REPORTED...DUPLICATE.

[Anonymous]

The relationship won't last you have to accept that. Keep him around until your child is at least 4 and maneuver yourself that you are in a stable postion to leave.

[OddBeMe]

Can’t. And he prob won’t stop. Best option is to leave so your kids have more time to adjust.

The pull you’re feeling toward him is your old life BEFORE you knew.

[Nikki1989]

How can you love a cheater?

Have some self-respect and move on.

[Anonymous]

Leave, take the kid and file for child support

Get tested, he's probably got the full house on STD bingo

[DreamLife7]

Anyone want anything from the store? Comment here thanks

[ThaiGirl]

He needs to get into therapy quick otherwise it won't work out

[Anonymous]

I would say get out know while you can. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.

[DrPepper12]

Get out. NOW. He's toxic. You're being naive.

[Anonymous]

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