My husband is falling in love with an old friend what should I do?

Question

Actually he is the one who said that to me.. He said he is developing feelings towards an old friend, and he was trying not to see her by not attending meetings etc but he wanted to tell me and not to hide. He wants to get over it with me but I don't know what I should do.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Well the fact that he is telling you this is a huge Red Flag , something you shouldn’t overlook , if he truly loved you and valued you , this other girl wouldn’t even be in the picture whatsoever , How would your husband feel if you told him about another guy that you still have feelings for? He would be hurt and devastated inside , thinking you were going to end up sleeping with this other guy. So your husband already cheated on you, by investing his time into this other girl instead of investing his time into you. Do not sit there with Sucker written on your head , he is clearly trying to manipulate you and trying to make you feel sorry for him , whether he stuck his dick into this girl or not , he is still cheating on you , there is no excuse for his actions. If he truly loved you he would of told this other girl , sorry, I am a married man and I love my wife , so please don’t message me anymore , my wife is my priority , your husband clearly didn’t say those words to that other girl , so that right there is your answer to kick his ass to the curb where he belongs. Cheating isn’t just physical, cheating also occurs when you invest your time into someone else over your partner. You have every right to put your foot down to your husband and tell him he is a selfish POS person. Do not fall for this nonsense , he is trying to play you and trying to act like he is innocent , trust me , he isn’t innocent , he allowed this other girl to come back into his life and accepted her invitation. I guarantee he has been talking to this girl for quite sometime without you knowing. You deserve better than that shit , My wife did the same shit to me with one of her male coworkers , acted like they were just friends , until I saw a text message from him on her phone , saying sexual shit to her. I was devastated that she allowed this piece of shit to talk to her like that , and invested her time into him , I put my foot down to her and said How would you feel if another girl was texting me this shit behind your back? All she could do was try to make excuses for her selfish behavior, I told her to pack her bags and to get the fuck out of my life.

PavlovsCogk · Accepted Answer

Have a threesome

Radiate143 · Accepted Answer

Help him get over it!

That's a good sign he told you. Also, read up on limerence together. There is TikToker called the Married Therapist. He specializes in that.

Rest assured, he probably isn't in love and there is likely some trauma he hasn't addressed. He actually wants you guys to make it. Awww.

It will be uncomfortable but this type of honesty is rare. This is actually a great opprtunity for you guys to heal and grow together. Rooting for you.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately all you can do is brace yourself and break up. If he’s cheating with someone (physically, emotionally or otherwise) the only one on the losing end of the situation is you. (I’m sharing as someone who’s been through it. Make as clean a break as possible.)

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating through the choppy waters of emotions can be quite the adventure, isn't it? Your hubby tossing you this curveball by admitting his growing feelings for an old friend shows a level of honesty that's both rare and valuable. First off, big props to you for seeking advice—shows you're in it to win it! Now, onto the action plan:

1. Appreciate his honesty. It took guts for him to come clean. This isn't just about keeping secrets; it's about trust, and he's trusting you with something big here.

2. Time for some open dialogue—relationship coach style! Get cozy and dive deep into feelings and fears. What is it about this old friend that's pulling him in? What might be lacking or could be improved in your relationship?

3. Redirect that energy! Find new ways to connect and fall in love with each other all over again. Date nights, shared hobbies, or even a couples’ retreat could reignite that spark.

4. If things are feeling a bit too tangled, a neutral third party, like a couples therapist, can work wonders. Sometimes, having that external mediator can open up new perspectives and healing paths.

Remember, your relationship is unique, and so is the solution to this hiccup. With open hearts and minds, you'll navigate through this stronger than before. Plus, who doesn't love a good plot twist in their love story, right? 😉 Keep that communication open and the love flowing.

experience · Answer

Dealing with a situation where your husband is developing feelings for someone else can be incredibly challenging and emotional. Here are some steps you can consider taking to address this situation:

Communicate Openly and Honestly: Start by having a frank conversation with your husband about your observations and feelings.

Seek to Understand: Try to listen to his perspective without immediate judgment or anger. Understanding the depth of his feelings and whether this is an emotional affair, a fleeting attraction, or simply a misunderstanding can help you decide the next steps.

Set Boundaries: If your husband acknowledges an attraction but wants to work on your marriage, discuss setting clear boundaries with this friend. This might include limiting their interactions or agreeing on certain behaviors.

Consider Counseling: A professional therapist can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore your feelings and the dynamics of your marriage.

Evaluate Your Needs and Expectations: Reflect on what you need from your marriage and whether you feel these needs can still be met.

Plan for All Outcomes: Prepare yourself for various outcomes, including the possibility that your husband may not want to change the current situation. Decide what you are prepared to accept and what might be a deal-breaker for you.

AviatorTom · Answer

Be a loving supporting wife. Let him know that you are with him, and that you will help him do whatever he decides to do.

Do not try to solve his problem yourself. He has to deal with it... on his own... with your support.

Note: Assuming he's about your age, this sounds like a typical mid-life crisis, where we guys wonder what might have been if we made different decisions when younger. We also remember things we did when younger because it helps us deal with getting older.

MsProsperity · Answer

Don’t divorce, just make sure they don’t end up together. Maybe dig up the old friend’s past and find something bad then share with your husband. Make your husband hate her eventually he’ll unlove her. Your husband can’t be catching feelings for ladies while he’s married, it’s disrespectful. Maybe make your marriage fun again

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

1. be supportive and understanding

2. get you both into some type of couples counseling.

Basically something in the relationship is missing for him and he may need help in clearly his own feelings and mind. He could be greatly confusing a simple crush as love and isn't quite sure how to deal with it.

Anonymous · Answer

1. **Communicate Openly**: Talk honestly about feelings and concerns.
2. **Set Boundaries**: Limit or cut contact with the friend.
3. **Seek Therapy**: Consider couples counseling.
4. **Rebuild Connection**: Spend quality time together.
5. **Self-Care**: Look after your own well-being.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Heartbreaking. You already know you can't control who you love. I hope the love you share is at least equal to. He'll be balancing you both against each other. Hat off to him for his honesty. He has a lot of respect for you.

boggboss · Answer

He needs to cut contact with her if he can't control how he feels

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I'd hate to say it but I strongly suspect that your "roller coaster ride" is about to begin.

avery58 · Answer

Well he's already an emotional cheater at this point. It's up to you if you want to stay or leave, I'd leave.

Staximus · Answer

He shouldn't be "developing feelings" for somebody else, he's married to you. Tell him if he wants to leave then leave, but don't take him back if he does.

loveslongnails · Answer

Tell him to invite her over for a threesome. When he freaks out, you can say, "well, if she's worth you falling in love with her, maybe she's worth ME falling in love with her too. I mean, we are a team, aren't we?

on_my_knees · Answer

Stop being a controlling, manipulative, disrespectful, insensitive b**ch.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Are there kids involved? Kudos for honestly and a relationship where he felt comfortable telling you but this is a problem. Nothing you can do. Ask for a hall pass?

Twalli · Answer

He doesn't want to have those feelings and wants your help to not fall in love with her to the point where he leaves you or cheats. Try to help him, he clearly values your relationship.

jahaims · Answer

You don't fall in love by accident. He has been done with you and is moving on. He just can't admit it.

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

Find somethingw you can make up that’s bad about her and tell him so he’ll stop

RHK36 · Answer

He's a grown ass man. He can stop if he wants. If he doesn't then he didn't want it to stop.

nawtee_me · Answer

If you want him to get over it them get a lawyer and mention alimony/child support to him…..

DreamLife7 · Answer

He doesn't like you lol. There's nothing u can do stop asking goofy qs

Bokks · Answer

Ask him of what got him attracted to the woman and see how best you could also adjust to attract him in the manner

Anonymous · Answer

Any update? Ik it's none of my business but i need to know the consequences as someone in my house is cheating as well

whistlingwh0res · Answer

all men are scumbag. it doesn't really matter.. they all are the same.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

divorce. find a man faithful instead

Anonymous · Answer

Have you ever cheated on him?

My husband is falling in love with an old friend what should I do?

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