I cheated on my boyfriend multiples times with different guys. Is it possible to move on from that and make up for it without ever telling him?

Question

I have been feeling depressed lately because everything is catching up to me. My boyfriend is an amazing guy. He is also the perfect catch. I cheated on him with three different guys from different bars while out with my friends over the summer during the month of June. I didn’t ever tell him. He trusts me so much that he lets me go out whenever I want with my friends and doesn’t ask where we go or anything. I guess I just took advantage of that.
I also want to point out that I have been making it up to him. I have been cooking for him more now and I also been doing more to him in bed. I just don’t want to ever tell him because our relationship would end guranteed. He has other options. He isn’t like other guys. He is very attractive. 6ft tall with green eyes and nice hair. He gets looks everywhere we go. I can’t let him go for something this stupid that was my fault. I don’t want to tell him. I can’t. But what do I do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Just continue on with him. We all fuck around sometimes, especially in the summer.

Alexz0 · Accepted Answer

He doesn't need to know. Don't worry about it and carry on hun.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You are thinking about a relationship strictly in terms of what you get from it, and seem to be ignoring what you are supposed to give. And you have screwed up INCREDIBLY BIG!

Some screw ups aren't major and you can do things to compensate for them. This is not one of those minor screw ups. Imagine if you hadn't done this, and you learned he screwed three other girls in one month!

Avicenna · Answer

He will probably cheat on you once he finds out and then dump you

coachTanthony · Answer

Sure just hope he never finds out

Truthatanycost · Answer

This is what you should do. In this situation follow this following scripture

Matthew 7:12

'So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'

Many can't really place themselves in another shoes so try this. Imagine you had an only daughter. A beautiful, intelligent, humble, godly, loyal, trust worthy woman that you would give the world for or do anything for. If this only child was with a man that did the same as you did, would you want him to keep it from her and continue trying to make up for it, or would you prefer that he gave her the true choice to decide for herself whether she would forgive and stay with him, or move on?

There are consequences for everything that we do in life and perhaps this is a turning point in your life because you are acknowledging that truth is important enough for you to ask this question here and to live in a better way in future. If you keep this from him, perhaps you aren't truly doing this too. Thus it is important for many reasons.

Fireguy17 · Answer

As a person who found his now ex wife in bed with someone, as well as had an ex girlfriend that was also cheating on me there is no way in God's green earth that cooking or doing something in bed would or could ever make up for the trust that you destroyed.
Somehow someday he will find out.
Your guilt will start to destroy you from within, and if it doesn't you certainly do not deserve him.
Reverse the rolls and ask yourself how would you feel in this situation when you find out that he cheated on you.
You need to come clean and hope for the best, but I can tell you from my personal experience that after a lot of years have gone by and my ex wife and I are friends, she lives half way across the US, when I see her or talk to her that moment of seeing the two of them together and him backing into the closet pulling up his pants is just as fresh after all these years as it happened earlier today.
There is no way I will ever get over that moment.
Maybe others can, but I can't.
The ex girlfriend came back wanting to get back together, I thought about it, but just knowing that I could not trust her again, any time she was late, or I didn't know where she was I would start to wonder who she was with.
That is what you did to him.
So unless you are that exceptional of a cook, or that good in bed that he can't move for the next 2 days, I just don't see it ever being the same again.
Maybe it's just me, and others are more forgiving, but he needs to hear it from you, not finding out from someone else.
He might already know, and is waiting for you to come clean.

RavVid · Answer

Confess and accept being dumped. You cannot make this up. It might be possible for you to live a lie but it is extremely vile of you making someone - you purportedly love - live your lie.

So basically you are anybodies when you are drinking with your girlfriends. They weren't very good friends if they were encouraging to fuck anybody while you were out. You should dump them. The only way you can do worse is get knocked by some random guy at a bar.

If you have any decency you will give him the opportunity of finding a moral girl.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well that's going to be a dead giveaway the moment you put makeup on it then he's going to want to have sex when he pulls it out he's going to have makeup all over and he's going to say what are you trying to hide what are you covering up how many guys have you been with how many times did you put makeup on this per day you know something like that

I can't really give you any advice I mean this is your your gig and the guy is holding up his end of the bargain with you and you're just putting makeup on it to hide it it all come around one day probably who knows but this is all your choice this is up to you nobody else

Daniela1982 · Answer

This sounds like a troll posting. If he is everything you say he is, you would have to be brain dead to cheat on him. However, on the off chance that this story is legitimate, I would tell you to tell him about it. He will probably find out about it sometime in the future and the outcome will be a lot worse if he finds out that way, than if you come clean and tell him. You did the bumps, so take the lumps and own it. Who knows, maybe he cheated on you when you were gone so you will be able to forgive each other. The last thing I will say is a relationship's top priority is trust and honesty between you. If you couldn't trust yourself to be true then, how can you guarantee to be true in the future?

Vesuvius87 · Answer

You haven't even described anything special about him nor his personal qualities other than just looks. You don't love him. You're just lusting over him. That's not love.

If he's so great as you say and you still cheated then you need to be single at this moment. Have you considered that you might even give him an STD?

abc3643 · Answer

Move on.
Don't stay with this guy.
He doesn't deserve it.
Either tell him the truth or a white lie, but you must leave him.
Be silently repentant and learn to be more discriminating about spreading your legs.
And, equally important, learn what you have before you fuck it up.

yucychan · Answer

I think you are a horrible person and if your boyfriend is as good as you say, you don't deserve him at all.

So, you think you can make it up to him just by cooking and sleeping with him, don't kid yourself. The guilt will eventually catch up with you and make you feel even worse in this relationship.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

He will very likely find out. The longer time it takes, the worse it becomes.
Question is, how do you want him to find out?

I cannot imagine him forgiving you, but I don't know him or you.

You should know better. If you don't know how to be faithful, then don't be in a relationship.
Do better.

Anonymous · Answer

Since you upvoted the two telling you to keep it a secret despite all these other comments I’m guessing that was your plan the whole time so why ask? Of course you should tell him, if you really love the guy then give him the chance to decide if you two can move past this. Keeping is selfish af, and the guilt will eat you up at one point, especially if he’s a good man, he didn’t deserve that shit.

Staximus · Answer

Tell him about how you're the town bicycle and face the music. Then you can move on with your life and find a guy who is as untrustworthy as you, and you two can cheat on each other. Who knows, maybe he cheated on you, too. Guys who every girl drools over have options.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, I’d keep it to myself. If he finds out, he’ll never trust you again. If you’re serious about this relationship, then figure out why you did what you did and make changes in your life to address it. You have to commit going forward or things will eventually fall apart. You get more comfortable cheating over time and then you get careless and get caught. Everyone makes mistakes but you have to learn from it and stop doing it.

DextroShade · Answer

This right here is a perfect example of why I would never tolerate my woman going out to bars and clubs and neither should any other guy.

You don't have to tell him, but here's what you should do: you get rid of your hoe friends, delete your IG or set it to private, and stop going out to bars or clubs as thise places are for singles. If he happens to cheat on you in the future then you will owe him forgiveness.

DarkLegacy · Answer

What comes around goes around, and a relationship entered into because of looks is doomed to fail, hence why you cheated on him. Either way you deserve to lose him and have no right to be jealous, such hypocrisy and so typical of modern women.

You deserve everything you get for cheating on him and for going for him because of his appearance.

REX_JSWL · Answer

Well there are only two way
Don't tell him and go on with relationship, but there will be guilt and fear (if he found out then what)
Second is tell him and just wish he doesn't get angry and accept you it sounds difficult but there will be no guilt and fear

I choosed the second one and I am happy about it
What will you choose? Do tell me

Shamalien · Answer

The comments by the sluts of this website are disgusting. I cannot believe you people would actually tell her to keep this to herself

tell him the truth or be FOREVER CURSED that ain’t me cursin you that’s the nature of this world my dear. You cannot act this way without consequence

Spongebobssocks · Answer

No you need to break up with him so he can find a woman with human value

I cheated on my boyfriend multiples times with different guys. Is it possible to move on from that and make up for it without ever telling him?

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