Ex texted me “heyy” after a break up, should I respond?

[Anonymous]

We had a pretty messy breakup. We were not together long. He had severe trust issues but refused to take accountability for it. But one time I got insecure mostly because of his constant insecurities (not to blame him for that totally, I take accountability but that was the cause) I called him out on him staring at a girl at my friend’s party vs how he was treating me. When we talked about it I was kind and loving although I was upset. He was furious that I accused him, I apologized. I told him that wasn’t fair because he accuses me all the time and I give him reassurance, even though it did affect me, why couldn’t he. He later accused me of something ELSE and stormed out the car and that was the last I seen him. I gave him some space after I cried and begged him not to leave like that but he made up his mind and broke up with me over a VOICE MEMO. I couldn’t even talk to him. I just told him I disagreed but okay.

I waited 4 days and I seen he was on the dating site i met him on again. I cracked and called him. I told him I felt that was pointless to break up over something that we could have talked about and fixed but we both had to take accountability and not make the same mistakes. he told me he’s been unsure about the relationship and it was nothing I did. He just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Yet HE was the one that asked me to be his girlfriend. He later told me he asked me because he felt that’s what I wanted. I was so devastated. I really was ready to love him and be loved and I felt it was all a lie. I just couldn’t believe everything he was telling me and I just was crying and asking him why. He hung up on me and blocked me. I asked him for a proper ending and he declined that too.

Almost two months later (45ish days) he texted me “heyy”. It’s been over 10 days and I haven’t responded. I want to ask did he have something to say because I have some things I want to say to him.

[ManOnFire]

So I think you're doing the right thing by not responding. It's been 45 days and the only thing he reaches out with is "heyy." Not a very mature approach. Someone who is serious about you or whatever happened between you two would say something like "I know it's been awhile. Can we talk?" By him saying only "heyy" it's almost like a test to see if you'll jump when he calls, to see if you'll take the bait.

Personally I would leave that whole situation alone and move on. I know you said you had things you wanted to say too, but after 45 days I don't think it really even matters. I think it's best that you leave that thing in the past and don't go back. There was already some fractures in the relationship from what you detailed, and I guarantee there will just be even more if you talk to him and get back together.

Remember that whatever is meant for you will be for you, and there won't be any drama, falling in and out of love, or brokenness in your relationship.

[Asker]

I completely agree with you. I will continue to be strong and ignore

[ManOnFire]

Let this be of help to you Don't Try To Make Sense of Your Ex ↗

[boggboss]

What's the point of reminding u two was a fucking ahit show it won't just be different

[HollyK21]

I feel like no matter what we say you’re gonna cave and respond because you’re already contemplating it and struggling with no contact. But for what it’s worth, I think you should stay away. “Severe” trust issues and narcissistic tendencies are deep seated and don’t just vanish overnight. It takes some real time and dedication that I feel confident you know deep down he has yet to address and start healing from.


There’s nothing to ask or talk about that you haven’t already brought up, you’d only be saying it again, just in a another font, basically. He won’t apologize, or see your side of things, he’s already shown you this. Meaning there’s no closure to be found or reconciliation that won’t result in winding up right back here, you’d just be in worse shape and starting the healing process again from square one. Don’t do that to yourself, be strong and walk away.

[Asker]

I guess I’m not expecting reconciliation but being able to communicate and not be in a hurt space (me crying and being upset) was something I’m was interested in. I do not and will not accept him back into my life as a boyfriend nor a friend. I just felt I wanted to express myself correctly but I will more than likely not do it at all. I will be strong

[HollyK21]

I understand wanting some closure, but he’s shown you more than once that he’s incapable of having a mature conversation without gaslighting you and he does not take accountability for his wrong doings. No matter how calm and clear you lay it out he will not give you the response you seek, and at this juncture I honestly think if he were to tell you some sweet things, he’d rope you right back in because you still aren’t quite ready to be fully done with him. You already have the most important information you need, which is that he was already struggling with whether or not he’s ready for a relationship and ultimately isn’t. Nothing else matters. I advise you make peace with this and let him go.

[Zandoval]

Nah. Leave it. Move on.

[DreamGlow]

No you shouldn’t do that.

[In_Trance]

block him