LONG DISTANCE... Guys ever broke up with a girl, and wanted her back?

My guy broke up with me. Said he lost feelings. He deleted his Facebook/MySpace.

How am I supposed to make him want me back? We live states away. I know I'm supposed to do no contact, and work on bettering myself, and date more

On the other hand, is it possible that one day he might think about what he is missing?

I still love him like crazy, and can't play the crazy game, so. I'm doing no contact. I'm not going to show up at his door step.

The rule to the game is: Whoever cares less has the most power. I'm supposed to make him want to chase me, and I'm supposed to want to chose him after the chase.

How can I make that happen? Is he ever going to talk to me again? Here's a guy who said he wanted to propose to me, and said it would be a surprise when he did it.

He is trying to forget me, it seems like. I think he still loves me, but I can't talk to him, so I'll never know, plus he hasn't tried contacting me either.

It's been a month and a half, and all I've sent is a text saying "I miss talking" mind if I call you tonight. his repsonse not tonight maybe later in the week, his great gpa passed away a day a go.

So: No contact is my plan. Live my life without him, and try to move on... My plan was to try and call him tomorrow and just try to catch up as friends, but I don't know if he wants to talk to me.

I just wish we were the marshal and lilly of how I met your mother, instead of robin and ted mosby. ha

They take a long break in their relationship but both want each other back in the end, and get married.

I feel like he is giving me no chance, no second chance at making this work. Why is he trying to forget me? He broke up with me, shouldn't it be easier to just not love me and still have Facebook, without contact? He couldn't say he loved me on our last phone call. If he didn't love me, why did he delete his Facebook, he could have easily kept it up.

So does anyone have any solutions or success stories to my problem

This is what my plan is so far

1. 5k

2. improv class

3. painting class

4. sky diving one day

5. job/resume

6. graduation

7. crest white strips

8. Books and reading

9. Talk to people, try to figure out how to start my own business

10.Develop new hobbies - pool - shooting guns at the range - trying new things - hitting golf balls at a driving range

11. reconnecting with old friends

12. Trying to be friends with my ex from high school, although more than likely I will never date him

13. Go on dates, and not expect anything. I'm not trying to find someone straight of the bat

14. Have fun, live life to the fullest.

15. Become independent after graduation

16. Take boxing lessons

17. Lessen my stress - go to sleep and wake up at the same time

18. Try to start meditating

19. Rewrite my autobiography in 10 years. I wrote one last year

20. Reorganize my room

21. 8 min abs or an abs class

22. internship

So those are my options

ok. lol this is fun. What did I complete.

#1, #2, #6, #7 #8 read 8 books, #9 Yes, but I could do more of this #10 not really but I did do the driving range thing. #11 somewhat #13 went on four dates. #20 CHECK


Most Helpful Guy

  • The no contact thing works because there can only be two outcomes.

    1) The other person misses you, realises what they have lost and contact you and you get back together

    2) While doing the no contact thing they don't contact you but you end up getting over the person and actually moving on, in which case you don't want them back anyway.

    • Don't drive yourself crazy wondering if the other person misses you. It's impossible to know, the girl I like says she misses me often but she hardly talks to me in between saying it so I don't believe it. Just try to actually move on and focus on yourself, rather than the other person.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Sounds like he has another girl in his life or just had a one night stand and realized there's a lot more fun to be had. If he cared then he would be contacting you to let you know what he is feeling and what's going on with him. Plus you two being states away, he probably has a lot of things going on you don't know about.

    If I were you I would say if you don't want to make this work, no use wasting my time in trying also. Good luck with what your dealing with lol and I hope the best for you.

  • When I broke up, it was always final. There was no going back.

    And what does your "plan" have anything to do with this at all?

  • Same basic situation happened with me. My girlfriend broke up with me trying to figure herself out. A bit of drama happened and I deleted her off of my Facebook and MySpace. She soon realized just how badly she needed me (in about 4 weeks) and got back in contact with me. We stayed friends and she was doing some stupid things so AGAIN I deleted her off of my friends list (looking at the drama of someone you love, and seeing them not control it and always complain and all that other stuff was too much for me to handle). Soon AFTER THAT she talked to me again and apologized (I am respectful and understanding so I accepted her apology, and I also apologized) and we became friends. Then she asked me out, and we've been together since then.

    Dont know if taht helped but w/e =/

  • Odds are you will succeed at maybe 5 things on that list. Long distance relationships with people you barely even know are all based on a fantasy. If you actually were with him then you probably wouldn't feel so crushed. I hate to be the one to be negative but when you finally see all your broken dreams come crashing down your door you will be able to enter reality. You can hope all you want and make all the lists that you want but when it comes down to it, the only power you can gain over your life is the ability to adapt to shortcomings and enjoy even the bad times. Summer never feels any better than after a long cold winter and success never tastes sweeter than after the bitter touch of defeat. My advice to you is to live and take things for what they are. Only then will you really enjoy you and your own company. Self destruction is self improvement.

    • Idk most of those things I've wanted to do while dating my ex. But I mean I think those things will keep me from thinking about him in the long run. I mean I ran 5 miles the other day non stop. I just started the white strips, I'm going to have to reorganize my room, I'm moving back home from school, I'm on match.com (unfortunately), I've read 3 books so far, I'm graduating in 6 days form ASU, I'm going to the range to shoot guns for the first time on Saturday.. just for fun.

    • Show All
    • He was a guy I knew a lot, for 2 years. I know a lot about him. He said he told me everything, and I believed him. I was always honest with him as well. We talked every night same time after he got off work. I mean sure it all has to do with expectations. I at least learned that in a communications class. I heard long distance usually doesn't last when people become geographically close because both people have really high expectations for the other, and when they don't meet them, they bre

    • They break up. It's usually a high percentage in it not working out. we saw each other once to twice a month, and then it ended. We never got to try out being geographically close. Sure, I'm broken, and If I could have one wish right now, it would be to never wanting him back. No one obviously needs anyone, and I used to believe that, and kind of still do. I do not need him to be happy, but getting him out of my head, would be the best Christmas gift of all.

  • Yes. But she's engaged, still lives far away from me. And she's got a kid...

    She's admitted to having feelings for me still. Several times a year since I broke up with her.

    Still I'm too busy for even the dating game atm. So I don't have room for her and a kid in my life anyway.

    I also belive that kids should grow up with their real parents if possible...

    (Unless they are really bad at parenting, but that goes without saying tbh.)

  • The rule to the game is: Whoever cares less has the most power

    You have to really believe it for it to work. You have to be willing to walk away...

    Work on 19 more, it'll help you focus on what you need to do


What Girls Said 5

  • its totally possible...

    i blocked my ex's number and he began - months later - to miss me... he started telling all my friends in hopes it would get back to me... and he also lives out-of-town...

    your plan sounds AMAZING and I'm pretty sure after all your you-time you'll forget about him or find someone new and better for you--although you may not think its possible now...

    • How do you block someone's number? From your cell?

    • Show All
    • Question is, would you want to get back with him?

    • Funny you ask. um Yeah, I'd like to get back together with him. bbbuuuuuuuut it is way more over then I ever thought it ever was. I tried calling him for the first time after the break up, and he blocked my number. It said it was nonworking call.

      He's probably seeing someone else. FML. 2 years down the drain, one last phone call, and I'm never going to hear from him or see him again in this lifetime. What a disappointment that relationship was.

  • once you start focus on ur self and lookin happy he's going to run bak low key he's thinkin bout you jus like you think bout him guys jus dnt want 2 sho their emotions they try to hide it and if it was ment 2 be god will make it work

  • I broke up with my boyfriend 5 mths ago, and didn't start caring, and missing him until about 2 or 3 mnths ago... just because some one doesn't break up with you, doesn't mean that they won't regret it! NO CONTACT is what you have to do. My ex did it to me and it worked like a charm... I can't stop calling and texting him. It sucks!

  • it's so hard but it can be done, here's a great book you may want to check out:

    The 30-Day Heartbreak Cure: Getting Over Him and Back Out There One Month from Today by Catherine Hickland

    good luck!

  • okayy chicka sometimes you have to let something go and see if it will come back again.Try a new hobby to distract you,but you need to stop obsessing about him.

    I get where your coming from though.I was in a long distance relationship for over a year and we ended up breaking up.I was close friends with him,even lost my virginity to him.I thought we were in love and happy then he calls me to tell me he just couldn't do it anymore.When he broke up with me,it shattered my world but I learned that sometimes you just have to move on.It's not worth the heartache and trouble to stay worried about this guy.

    So in short let him go,if it's meant to be then it will work out in the end,if not you'll find someone new just takes time to heal.Be single,have fun,flirt maybe,try a new hobby,just enjoy life.Quit thinking about this guy.

    But it's your life,not mine so you make your own choices not me.This is just what I did after he shattered my world.


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