Why you guys act like this?

[Anonymous]

I've been getting to know this Korean guy online for a while now. He's 25 and works in a military capacity as an officer. We've been chatting since the end of January and even had a few phone calls. It's been going pretty well overall, but recently, there's been a bit of a shift in our conversations. We talked on the phone earlier, and I suggested we FaceTime sometime soon. He seemed open to the idea at first, mentioning he had some training to attend to but that we could do it afterward. However, when the time came, he kept postponing it and didn't bring it up again. When I asked him about FaceTime, he seemed hesitant and even tried to steer the conversation towards more intimate topics. He started asking about my sexual history, which made me uncomfortable, especially considering we're still getting to know each other. I tried to steer the conversation away from that and asked about his past relationships instead. He mentioned his last girlfriend was two years ago, but then he seemed eager to change the subject again. I felt a bit disappointed by the turn our conversation took. I was hoping we could move forward and develop a deeper connection, but it seems like he's more interested in discussing sexual topics rather than getting to know me on a personal level. Since then, our conversations have become less frequent, and he hasn't brought up the topic of sexuality again. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. I still want to keep talking to him because I enjoy our conversations, but I'm not sure if he's interested in pursuing a meaningful relationship. We live quite far apart, with me in Istanbul and him near Seoul, which adds another layer of complexity to the situation. I'm not sure if a long-distance relationship would even be feasible or if he's interested in that kind of commitment. I would love to continue talking to him. But I don't know how to achieve this. Also I'm not too sure if this is healthy? Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.

[Mr_twoface]

Hey, firstly, given the recent shift in your conversations, it's important to consider your comfort and what you're looking for in this relationship. Communication is key in any relationship, especially in long-distance ones. See myTake about it. You should consider having an open conversation with him about your feelings and expectations. Expressing your discomfort with the sexual topics and reiterating your interest in a deeper, more personal connection could help clarify whether both of your expectations align.

If he's responsive and respects your boundaries, there might still be potential for a meaningful relationship. However, if he continues to steer conversations towards topics you're uncomfortable with, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship's health and long-term viability. Remember, a relationship should make you feel respected and valued, not uncomfortable or uncertain. Trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional well-being in whatever decision you make.

Secondly, from the sound of it, it seems you've never seen each others face other than shared pictures. If that is the case, then he probably isn't the person he claims to be or have really low self-confidence believing he is uglier than what he portrays himself to be. When two individuals find each other interested, they quickly will find the time to meet IRL or facetime each other. It's been 4 months now and everytime the conversation has been brought forward, he has avoided it. Like others suggested, since he is in the military he might not see a lot of female cadets and hence has turn to you but his intentions are not the same as yours. For him its nice to ventilate with someone and hopefully get something out of it to pleasure himself. For you, it seems, it is more.

What I believe you should do is, put your foot down and say, you want to facetime in order to move on. If he doesn't reciprocate or postpones the thought, then you know your answer and can move on. Unless you also find it smoothing to just talk to someone random.

[236color]

Wow, when you say long distance, you mean it. I wouldn't invest a lot of time in this as a potential IRL relationship. My guess is he's looking for cybersex. He's a lonely military guy, you're someone he never expects to meet. He's steering the conversation to sex because he wants too talk dirty with you while he gets himself off. I'd bet if you suggest naked face time he'll be right there. Talk dirty and perking off with someone a continent away is certainly safe sex, and can be fun, but it's not the basis of anything long term.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I wouldn't waste my time just for that, especially in LDR. You have to have solid plans of meeting each other, or else it will fail. 🙂 And to know if a guy is serious about you, you will know it—because he won't keep playing around with you. He will be straight to the point.

[MasterKS]

@SeriouslyNotSerious I second.

[DishLady]

It sounds like he was just interested in sex with you.

[Noodle_fan]

His main interest here is sexting with u , thats why he lose interest when u deny him.

Any ldr is not healthy at all in my opinion , especially because u never even met in person

[DrPepper12]

If he can't show his face / background 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Chat but leave it at that. LTR never worked anyway

[OddBeMe]

Write in more concise paragraphs if you want to be more understood.

But why do you allow your men to treat you like this?

[Awesomesauce2005]

If i could find a relationship rn long distance or not i would take it

[Anonymous]

He wants to make sure he's not dating a slut or a liar.

[onedarkcloud]

He is not who he says he is. Watch out

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you. Why can't you take a hint?