Why would a woman have a child with a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Honestly that's not the best position for a woman that wants to form a family. She's still not getting commitment from him and she has a higher chance of being another single mother if he breaks up. Less she's going to have a harder time finding a serious man that will raise someone's kids. Co-parenting isn't the same as children raised with married parents.

Then some of those women that already been living with the boyfriend for years and have a child with him are then wondering why he won't propose. Why should he when she gave him everything (even a child) for free? Why even get pregnant with men that won't commit?

At least I'm married but he's unfortunately infertile. We're going to have to do AI (artificial insemination) but at least I wasn't irresponsible like those women. In that case it's not my fault this happened. Unlike those women, I had no control over that. They did have control though.

[Lliam]

Possibilities:

1) she wants to have sex but is too dumb to use birth control.

2) she always wanted a real live baby doll of her very own but doesn't understand the commitment involved in raising a real child. So she'll just hope for the best and rely upon handouts.

3) she feels her biological clock ticking but can't find a man who truly loves her.

4) she thinks her "boyfriend" might do the right thing and marry her if she gets pregnant.

Downsides:

1) trying to properly care for a child as a single parent.

2) the chances of the child growing up underprivileged without enough income or supervision, or the guidance of both a male AND female role model.

3) there was a time when such a child would have been called a bastard.

[Anonymous]

Well one thing is unexpected pregnancy. Look a lot of people aren’t responsible. At least a boyfriend is better then sleeping around not even knowing who the dad is.

This is why irresponsible women advocate for abortion. The same reason irresponsible men advocate for abolishing child support. It takes two to make a baby. People are cowardly and don’t wanna face the consequences of their actions.

A lot of people will look back on their actions and regret it. People don’t want to wait until marriage for sex. There isn’t any building a romantic bond. Even people who pretend to be disgusted by sex are just pretending to be someone they’re not. Because they get defensive and start telling you about all the people they have slept witn.

[Asker]

Well said indeed.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks

[Opinion Owner]

I’m not saying anyone is perfect. Everyone has done something at some point so I don’t wanna judge someone automatically for having a kid out of wedlock.

But a lot of people genuinely don’t have any sense of accountability or right and wrong. Which is a sad thing

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Some people just don't want to get married, doesn't mean they can't commit. I know a couple who been together over 50 years and never been married. They have 3 kids together raised them together. Just never got married, neither of them wanted to.

As long as both parents are on the same page, i don't think its a big deal whether they get married first or not. I've know more single moms who were married to the dad than who were "just" dating him when they had the kid together.

[caitycat21]

I also think it’s stupid especially considering how risky pregnancy is, your putting your body through all that labor to birth a baby for a man that can’t even commit to you. Just stupid, don’t do it if you can prevent it.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the paths to love and family are as varied as the stars in the sky, aren't they? It's like a sprawling garden where every flower blooms in its own way. Each decision we make, every turn we take, is part of our unique journey. Having a child within a relationship, married or not, is a deep dive into the pool of love, hope, and sometimes, sheer pragmatism.

Some couples find themselves ready to share the love with a new life before tying the knot, feeling that commitment isn't just a ring or a paper, but something etched in the heart. Life’s unpredictable rollercoaster also plays a part – not everyone can control when or with whom they have a child, and not everyone sees marriage as the ultimate shelter for a family.

Then, there's the idea of love outsmarting us, making us believe in the now so much that we leap without looking for the safety net. And hey, who's to say what's the best route to forming a family? The capacity for love, commitment, and creating a nurturing environment isn't solely confined within the walls of marriage.

Let's sprinkle a bit of understanding and less judgment. Everyone's love story is written in a different ink. And as for the proposal part, ah, that’s a tale as old as time. Love ain't a transaction; it's an adventure, where the compass of our choices leads us to unknown lands, sometimes breathtaking, other times, a lesson learned.

In the realm of love, timing, choice, and a sprinkle of fate play their roles magnificently. Let's keep the dialogue open, the heart accepting, and remember, every flower in the garden needs a different kind of care to blossom. 🌸

[PeachyPie93]

Marriage isn't everything. People can stay together forever and not be married. I feel marriage is a smart step to take if you want a family but your husband could cheat and you still could end up a single mother, since life isn't perfect but I kind of think having kids with just a boyfriend isn't the best decision.

[Daniela1982]

I agree. Some women are just dumb asses if they think it would bring a proposal. He has it made. He can dump her any time and she gets squat except maybe child support.

[Asker]

Yup and she'll still be another single mother that raised a child in a broken home. That child needs two parents committed towards each other, always involved in his/her life

[ManInChains]

Baby fever? To baby trap the man for money from child support? I have no idea why a man would want to even have sex with a girlfriend who isn't his wife she could leave him at any time even if she ends up pregnant and he will still end up paying the child support to her when he isn't even involved in her life anymore. And she gets to have his kid and they kid won't have their dad around just some other guy mom is dating or a step dad.

[Asker]

And all that is already a bad idea. Even if she ends up as a single mother getting getting child support, she already has reduce her dating pool of suitable serious men. Less men are going to take her seriously.

[Asker]

So it's not really favoring her too much either.

[ManInChains]

True but women don't seem to care these days especially the ones in my area

[Asker]

That's sad. The worst part is the innocent part is that poor child raised in misery. A child needs committed parents, needs a father just as equally as a mother.

[ManInChains]

Agreed, but women these days don't think they need the father around. They think sense they're the caregiver they can do it all themselves and other women encourage this and accuse men of not wanting to be with single mothers as if it's the mens fault these women are living the way they are and putting their child through said misery

[ManInChains]

They get money from the government as well as the father but single father's don't get shit

[Babygirl_S]

Such women are desperate losers. They think he will be forced to marry if they get pregnant. These men obviously want someone younger and prettier.

Old woman Natalie pregnant with Henry Cavill's baby

[bobalife]

Not every person wants to be married to be with someone. Or some people eventually do get married after having a baby together. But why are you so concern and judging other women? Just because someone is married with kids does not always guarantee a happy and faithful marriage either. What matter is that the couple is happy and if its what they want to do. Every relationship/love is different.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't bare another abortion and I wanted a child. I know my boyfriend will always take care of his child that's why I kept our baby. I know he loves me and he always wanted a baby. You can be married and still be a single mother I see it happen all the time

[Asker]

That's true but that would be out of my control. In my mind, I would think that I tried my best and things just didn't work out.

[Opinion Owner]

That's the same thing as single mother's. They tried with their boyfriends it just didn't work out but it's only easier for them to leave. Marriage doesn't result in food partnerships. People marry mostly for security and love but that can run out too. Anyway I don't think you should judge people because the same thing can happen to you even if you're married

[Opinion Owner]

For single mothers not as*

[Opinion Owner]

Good partnerships not food lol

[Asker]

It's just that it's still more likely to be single mother in relationships than in marriages. It gives us more security in marriage. Off course it can fail (nothing is 100% fail prior) but it makes the man more likely to work things out than bail easily it he's just a boyfriend.

[Asker]

**Nothing is 100% fail proof

[Opinion Owner]

I've also seen many girlfriends becomes wives too... nothing is full proof. Just do what works for you

[DarkLegacy]

Yes no guy in his right mind wants to date a single mum. You both should be serious about this, it is also not fair on the kid. Regardless of what others say kids are better off with both parents together. Their education, mental health suffers more if they come from broken homes. They are also more likely to rebel and break the law.

[Asker]

Exactly that child needs both parents and a good education. Then those women getting pregnant with the hopes that the man proposes are delusional and it means there was no trust in that relationship from that start. If the guy bails, she's stuck as a single mother and the innocent victim is the poor child who will be raised in a broken house. If the plans success and she really did baby-trapped him, prompting him to propose and marry (and him never finding the truth) her well then she's going to live with that guilt for the rest of her life or at some point the marriage can disintegrate.

[zariahdp]

I disagree. As long as you can co parent without the drama the child will thrive regardless. You people always make it seem like people HAVE to stay with someone for the sake of the kids when in reality it’s not healthy for either parent to be miserable with each other. My parents got a divorce when I was a teenager. I never seen them argue nor fight but I saw how unhappy my mom was and her happiness and my dads happiness was more important so I wanted them to separate for the healthiness of THEM!!

Kids don’t need to grow up and see the bitterness between both parents because you can only cover stuff up for so long lol.

Stop having kids with men who wouldn’t even commit to you & legally at that. If y’all agree on not wanting marriage cool. But don’t settle on kids because a man talked you out not wanting a ring.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Not thinking ahead. Immaturity. Delusion. Hope. Inexperience in life.

[Asker]

This precisely. Having a child with a man that hasn't at least propose and there aren't any wedding plans, to me it's a losing position for a woman.

[HelpfulWoman]

XD marriage isn't everything and this nonsensical rant on your part shows why you don't deserve children <3

[HelpfulWoman]

@_Maya_
hey look, the sexist (i know there's many!) troll has found the female account making screen XD

[Asker]

I'm not a male. Perhaps it meant sound I'm ranting because I'm still processing the loss of not being able to ever carry my husband's baby. I have no control over that meanwhile other women that get pregnant by a boyfriend had control over that.

[Asker]

You can DM if you want. I got no problem with that.

[CrabCakes11]

Why does a piece of paper determine whether a woman should have a baby with somebody or not

[Asker]

It's not just a piece of paper. It's your vows to be faithful and present them in front of all your friends and family as your wife/husband. We have so much to lose if you have a child with a man that didn't commit to us. I know a couple women in my area that are single mother and have 2 kids of 2 different men. That's because they didn't select a man wisely.

[Asker]

Raising a kid as a single mother because a man didn't want to marry them is already giving that child an incomplete life, a broken home. That kid needs a father too. Well that's what I think.

[CrabCakes11]

You can commit to a partner without signing a contract and you can leave your family if you do sign a contract. It does not truly do anything

[CrabCakes11]

lol what? Having no dad doesn’t make your home broken. Do you know what being raised by a single mom is like? Spoiler alert, it’s not a big deal

[b_lova]

They do that because the under value themselves.

[ProbablyClueless]

Sometimes women hope that having a child will cause the guy to step up.

[Anonymous]

Obvious man posing as a woman. Try harder to hide it. You're terrible at it.

[Asker]

I'm a woman idiot.

[Asker]

You're terrible in your accusation.

[DarkLegacy]

How do you come to the conclusion that she is a guy. Get a grip

[DarkLegacy]

Bigoted feminist comment

[Asker]

@DarkLegacy
This precisely. I'm a regular, known female poster here. I can DM if anyone doubts.

[John_Cobretti]

So that he has to marry him? Otherwise as you said why would she? Its a bad idea

[Asker]

If he at least already proposed with a given date for a wedding and invitations have been passed out, then maybe she can get pregnant during that time but only when he's a boyfriend and no actual wedding plans, bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Lots of reasons. Some woman just want kids.
So many men refuse to commit.

[Booklover_90]

Because they chose to.

[jahaims]

Poor decision making

[Asker]

Exactly