How to Make a Guy Your Boyfriend

[Apope16]

Just Ask Him Out

That's right ladies. Show a clear interest! Put the mind games and the bullshit at the door. I am sure low value bottom feeder guys may put up with it. But us high value guys who are attractive and have several options in terms of women. Any hint that you are "cray cray" and we are just moving on.

No Sext Zone

That's right. We as men are very sexual and visual creatures. The problem? We just dont see those types of girls as relationship material.

When the Legs Open, So Does the Heart

Open your legs ladies and have sex. Most likely if sex is not taking place by date three we are thinking about moving on to a new girl. Just think, if you are Brad Pitt and there are several ladies that want to have sex with you. Which one are you going to choose?

Sex is the Beginning

Ladies understand that a lot of what a guy does before you have sex with him is best behavior bullshit. You don't really know the true nature of a man or his feelings for you until the day after you guys start having sex.

Don't be Clingy

Message your guy 2 or 3 times a week with the hopes of arranging a date. Do not blow up his phone every single day. Be the initiator but not clingy.

Appearance

Do I need to say this? Seriously? On a date a guy will know if you like him by whether you make an effort to look sexy yet classy.

Dont Be Batshit Cray Cray

Guys are terrified of relationships because they have experienced women who have gone weird and crazy. Watch "Fatal Attraction" to know what I mean. Its scary asf!

Show Independence

Pay your own way on dates. Have hobbies or passions in life. Show you are your own person.

Old School

Be old fashioned. Show that you can cook. Its sexy. His loins and his tummy makes you rule him.

No Cell Phone

Put your damn cell phone down. Quality time with your man ladies. Obsessive cell phone selfies etc. is a turn off.

Let Him Lead

Let him be the date lead.

Respect his journey

Its hard being a man.

[Shezadi]

I think this article is degrading women. It's making men sound like a "gift" to women even though it's the men who are thirsty and hungry for women's skin. It's the men who crave women because they lust women. Women don't lust men on the same level like men lust women. This is why guys watch porn more than women. Guys stare at women more than women staring at men. Guys have more difficulty controlling their hormones.

Adam needed Eve not the other way round.
Women can live without men by earning money but men can't live without women because they need to fulfill their lustful desires and pass their genes on and their property to their children.

And I believe in no physical relationship before marriage.

This is objectifying women.

[Shezadi]

On one hand, you want women to pay for their dates which is outside the traditional gender role but at the same time, you also want them sleep with boys on the third date just to keep them but at the same you want them to cook which are a part of traditional gender roles. So, you only like traditional gender roles, when they are in your favour like sleeping and cooking but when they are in women's favour like paying for dates? How about you respecting women? Treating them like humans with feelings and self-respect instead of treating like objects to use and to dump. It is men who are horny not the women.

[Apope16]

Thank you for your reply. Always good to see a solidly written opinion woth someone who disagrees.

[I-am-a-nobody]

@Shezadi
I'm guessing...
Are you Muslim or Christian?

[Paul09]

Your first paragraph, I agree. After that, you are sounding like this guy. Adam needed Eve, and Eve need Adam. Not one or the other but both. And men can't live without women? I've been doing it my whole life lol. Both you and tye poster should realize both sexes have different types of needs

[TruthBringer]

It's MEN who are able to live without women more than women are able to live without men. Why do you think so many single feminists end up miserable while men who have become bachelors (willingly) are in general more satisfied? When it comes to needs, men in general only need sex to remain satisfied while they live their lives. Why do you think so many guys are interested in hookups rather than relationships? They crave the sex, not the emotional connection. This doesn't mean that guys don't want a girlfriend or a meaningful relationship, but far from the scale as that of women. It's women who fantasize more about weddings and kids, not men. It's WOMEN who need men more than the way around. Especially when the wall is about to hit a woman over the age of 30 and she is miserable for not having a partner by her side and perhaps not have kids. Many single mothers seek a man to be a stepfather, because they need financial and emotional support. Less and less men seek marriages and yet you're trying to convince us that men are the ones who need women, pff yeah right. When it comes to this article, it's full of shit and the advice given on sex often works in the disfavor of a girl who wants a boyfriend.

[LeoElias]

Overall this article should be taken seriously by women who are okay with having sex right away and are okay with living by these rules. If these rules work for them. But for women like you who are waiting for marriage until they have sex should not look at guys who want sex by the third date. Avoid guys like the one the asker depicts in this article. Find a guy who shares the same values as you and wants a girl who is waiting for marriage. There are guys like that out there. But you can't be picky with feminism because if you find a religious guy who wants a virgin wife, he'll definitely expect gender roles like cooking and cleaning. You can't wait for marriage and not take on other gender roles. I hope you know that.

[Froyologirl]

yea honestly after reading this I'd rather stay single

[Juxtapose]

Respect man. This is almost 100% spot on in my book, very applicable to most situations.

The women's responses are so salty too lol.

[Froyologirl]

I wonder why

[Froyologirl]

*sarcasm*

[Juxtapose]

@Froyologirl It's hilarious. I love the salt.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Disclaimer to ladies: you can do most of this and a guy can STILL choose to reject or befriend you.

Yes, speaking from experience unfortunately-

Minus the sex part. I definitely disagree with equating sex to getting a guy. If I'm not ready or comfortable, it's not happening: period. If he cannot understand or respect that, he's not the right man for me.

[Apope16]

Respect. But let's be real. If you like a girl then you have sex with the girl. 99% of guys are ready and comfortable with that.

Most guys are not high value. They will prioritize a girl they aren't having sex with because she is the only girl who agreed to go on a date with them. They have no other options.

But... if you are a high value guy? And you have 2 or 3 dates per week or you are seeing 3 different girls? Then your full attention is going to be with the girl who puts out.

Girl A: Hot and sexy. Goes out on dates with you for 6 months without sex. Says she "doesn't want to rush things".

Girl B: Pretty girl next door type. Goes on dates with you and starts having sex on the 3rd date. "Tells you that you are attractive and she likes sex".

Guys... my advice... date girl B.

[Be4rdy]

Ha I can't even get a text back

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Apope16 "Most guys are not high value. They will prioritize a girl they aren't having sex with because she is the only girl who agreed to go on a date with them. They have no other options." Interesting. And I can see that. Good point sir.

I don't like badmouthing my exes, but I will admit they were "lower value" as you might call them. Considering they waited months to have sex with me! No questions asked. They were just happy I wanted to be with them.

So may I interject with another scenario? Purely hypothetical...

Let's say there's a Girl C: She's a mix of Girl A and B: She is an average, girl next door type, likes you, but waits a few months for sex.

Where would she fall in the spectrum?

[Apope16]

You say that "most guys are not high value". That is ABSOLUTELY correct.!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Actually I was just quoting you on that Apope! Haha.

Now I will say this much since you brought it up: I'm indifferent on the matter. I rather not place a value on a man until I see his worth (such as personality and mannerisms) and how he treats me.

[Apope16]

All worthy qualities in the process of choosing a man.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Agreed!

On a sidenote, I am enjoying your questions as of late; it's interesting reading and watching some of the reactions on here.

[Oram52]

"I don't like badmouthing my exes, but I will admit they were "lower value" as you might call them."
Interesting. Can I ask how would you describe them?

[AllieOops]

@apope16Sure, a Ho is always preferable in a relationship than to girl with good morals and who doesn't sleep with ever guy in town. Are you freaking serious? Well good luck with that type of girl. She is also likely the kind who will cheat on you too because she is so used to being screwed she can't commit to one guy, and she has probably been plowed more than the family farm.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Oram52 I would say just were not the right guys for me.
Considering them, along with myself, had minimal to no dating experience, we were just trying to find someone that wanted us. Did that mean we should have dated? Hell no.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I agree with this 100%!

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apope16 in your scenarios guys could date either one providing they were both interested in him.

[8lutty]

Apope16 what is a high value man? does it competible with dating 3 girls at a time? and i assume ur girls in this hypothesis dont know about ur other girls huh? and seriously, u would pursuit a girl base on the sex? do u even love any girl at all and want to prove ur worth to her or u just: 'trolls just wanna have fun'?

[Shezadi]

I agree with you. This article is degrading women by telling them to have sex to achieve men. I am more than a body. I want my man to love my mind, heart and soul. I don't want a man just lusting my body and treating me like an object. This article is all about lust not pure love.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Shezadi Exactly! And most real men with respect and sense knows that!
I wish more women would realize that "giving it up" to a man, particularly the wrong one, too soon, will only lead to heartbreak for her.

[Apope16]

Scientific research indicates that most couples have sex with three dates or so. The article is not telling women to do anything they dont want to do. It is however saying that statistically a woman has a higher chance of locking down a man if you have a sexual relationship with them. Now, you can be a woman who waits until marriage. Thats cool. But I speak truth. Not idealism. Im giving you the reality, not what you want to hear. I mean, i suppose i could say that guys swipe on apps based on what you put in your profile. The reality is on a dating site they swipe based on your tits. Is that degrading or is that human biological sexuality at work?

[nelly83]

People have sex within 3 dates is the SAME reason why nobody cares much for dating or marriage anymore. Same reason why people lose interest in each other after sex.. u will find that most people have nothing to offer nowadays besides sex. It's like a drug that you think is going you amazing things while it'd just truly harming you and your dating life.

We all love sex but I prefer to wait. As great things take time to build.

[nelly83]

Plus a guy who is truly interested in you WILL WAIT further than 3 dates for sex. If his passion is lukewarm, he will leave if you don't put out

[Cynicaldreamer]

@nelly83 Bingo!!! I'm sure most guys on here will admit if they like a girl they don't mind waiting a little longer than 3 dates to have sex with her. I know I don't "put out" until we're in a relationship so I know he's not just after sex. If he's willing to wait, you know he's the real deal. If not? Keep moving!

[Shuri]

Lol, if this is your experience, then you aren't dating the right guys.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Shuri Exactly right! Which is why I'm not bothering trying to date right now and focusing on myself instead! Less stress, less drama :)

[Desconhecida]

I won't say I totally agree with your point of view. Some of your advices are good and modern. However you need to remember under aged girls are reading you and they can take what you say in a different context.
Your words are not universal rules, you can't create a schedule for a relationship since it must happen naturally.
I dont mean to offend you, but you should do your research better. I'm not against women having sex, I'm against you saying women need to follow certain things. Women are not sheep. We dont follow anything but our own hearts.

[LalaIbby90]

amen girl, preach

[Desconhecida]

LOL 💋

[Guy13]

This is pretty honest but in definite need of polishing the rough edges in presentation. The bad boy needs some possible woman sighting of sweet in there too.

[navyrobin]

"Just Ask Him Out"

You may not believe this, but a ton of guys are turned off when a girl asks them out. Sure, they may feign a higher interest in the girl but they usually start taking her less seriously and they stop trying to prove their worth to the girl.

"No Sext Zone"

I see what you're saying but this isn't always the case. I had two long-term relationships where it started very casual and lustful. We started building a bond based on that. Yes, sexting was part of it. And the relationships were very fulfilling and beautiful.

"When the Legs Open, So Does the Heart" I will have sex with someone when I feel ready, so pressuring me about this will turn me off even more. If a man walks away because I didn't give him sex in the 3rd date, I have dodged a bullet. I will choose when to have sex, no matter how bad the guy wants it.

"Sex is the Beginning" We already know this. We already know men are on their best behavior before sex happens. This is common knowledge.

"Don't be Clingy" Okay, that's good advice.

"Appearance" of course, I will make an effort to look hot for him, but he also needs to make the effort to look sexy for me.

"Dont Be Batshit Cray Cray" Do you know how many men have killed and stalked their ex girlfriends? This is advice you should be giving to your fellow men, not the women.

"Show Independence" Yeah, I will pay for my food unless he says he's got the bill.

"Old School" I don't like cooking, I have other ways of showing affection to him.

"No Cell Phone" Okay, yes, a lot of girls have this problem. You're right about this one.

"Let Him Lead" What? You just said we should ask him out and take initiative. So what do you mean?

"Respect his journey" If you think it's hard being a man, you should try being a woman for one hour. You wouldn't survive.

[nelly83]

Hahaha you completely owned him

[zagor]

The only time a guy is turned off when a girl asks him out is if he had no interest in her in the first place.

[navyrobin]

@zagor False.

[zagor]

Really? Since you're a guy, why are you on here in pink?

[navyrobin]

I’m not a guy. But I have had a lot more experiences with guys than you. ;)

[zagor]

I would hope so, in that sense.

But you hear what guys say to girls, not what guys say to each other. Two very different things. You get the sales pitch dear.

[navyrobin]

Actions speak louder than words, dear.

[zagor]

So you're saying you ask guys out and they turn you down? That doesn't disprove what I said.

[navyrobin]

I said that in my experience, as girls take more initiative, guys start to lose interest overall. Guys often go for girls who barely pay him any attention. 🤣

[navyrobin]

When I pay less attention the guy is more interested. A guy’s mind is pretty upside down there.

[zagor]

So you seem to believe that playing hard-to-get is the way to get a guy? I don't think that plays well in the real world.

[navyrobin]

Yes it does. If you do it well, it works like a charm. Every. Time.

[navyrobin]

This is because male psychology makes it so the man tries to prove himself worthy to the girl. It even has evolutionary roots. It’s wonderful isn’t it

[zagor]

Sorry but when I am interested in a girl and she expresses minimal/no reciprocation, I move on.

[zagor]

It's also evolution that he doesn't waste his time hunting a deer (or a dear..) that seems distant because there is likely another one nearby...

[navyrobin]

Oh well you must be the exception then. Yay I guess?

Deer? Glad women aren’t deer. That belongs to another topic hun

[MzAsh]

In all seriousness, though. I've developed a lot of success with this and here's what has worked for me.

- Flirt but don't pursue too hard. Show interest but let him pursue.
- Cultivate a good sense of humor. If you can make a man laugh, you have him in the palm of your hands.
- Develop an abundance mindset. You're a woman. You have the abundance of options advantage over a man.
- Don't be too needy, clingy, or desperate. He needs to know what you can be happy with or without him.
- Don't have sex until you know he's hooked and you are the only one he wants. Better, don't have sex until he's already agreed to be exclusive with you. If he's worth it, he will agree to those terms. Think this is unreasonable? My first love waited TWO YEARS before we first had sex. No, I'm not shitting you.
- Be you, at your personal best. Don't go overboard, but be mindful of your appearance, lifestyle, mind, emotions, skills, etc.
- Draw your boundaries. Show him what behavior you like and what behavior you won't tolerate.

[LalaIbby90]

i agree with this WAY more.

[MzAsh]

☺️😉🥰

[DiegoO]

The part of don't have sex... Until.. I agree and disagree. You gotta give good reasons and keep your word. In my personal experience, no guy will wait for sex from a woman, if her determination is week, with "no, yes, yes, no, yes, no". If she keeps to her word, I see no problem. Is like if someone in a restaurant told you to bring certain dish, then in a matter of a moment she/he dislikes it and beg for another, and so on.

I said no guy would wait, and yet I did, and I discovered insanity.

[MzAsh]

I wouldn’t suggest a woman giving a specific amount of time up front. If she says, “I’ll sleep with you after a week” but then changes her mind or doesn’t want to when the time comes, it looks bad on her part. Besides, any idiot can just wait a week. For me, it’s more about how much effort and investment they are willing to show and how indicative they are of genuine interest. I’d tell a guy I don’t sleep with men who aren’t fully committed to me and who haven’t shown that he’s really interested in me. If he doesn’t want to stick around that long, he can leave and I’ll know he’s not right for me. The right one won’t have a problem agreeing to the terms.

[DiegoO]

There is no problem agreeing with the terms, when the terms are clear and firm. When they are the opposite, confusion takes control, rather than the desire of actually wanting something more.

[MzAsh]

That’s understandable.

[Froyologirl]

thank you for this reasonable list

[Anonymous]

This list sounds more like a dating/hookup than a relationship material.

Example:

-“ask him out”: 50-50 chance it’ll be awkward and rejection

-“no sext zone”: it’s always the guys starting this and if we don’t reciprocate, they guilt trip us.

-“When the Legs Open, So Does the Heart”: NO. That’s just the brain getting Dopamine and serotonin. It’s lust, not love.

-“Sex is the Beginning”: mmm hmm yeah.

-“Don't be Clingy”: Can’t promise that if the sex was great and the guy is messing with women feelings.

-“Appearance”: yeah, every guy wants a model.

-“Dont Be Batshit Cray Cray”: all girls are emotional in general. We’re already trying to manage our emotions daily. Though we’re not perfect.

-“Show Independence”: basically ignore him. Then he’ll get hurt by that and it’ll lead to confrontation and argument/breakup.

-“No Cell Phone”: Guys are on their cell phones too! It’s their ‘mom’

-“Let Him Lead”: let him take advantage

-“Respect his journey”: Give him space and let him go.

[zagor]

"Ask him out" - 50:50 is pretty good. With most guys it's more like 20:80.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Totally agreed on the hormones part.

[Unit1]

Here are my disputes.

"Most likely if sex is not taking place by date three we are thinking about moving on to a new girl."

I see you just want sex ASAP. We all do. But no good woman will put up with that and no good man will want a woman being his girlfriend when having sex that early because she could have been sleeping around like she does with you with many men.

"Sex is the Beginning"

Sex is also all that many males are after and nothing else.

"Message your guy 2 or 3 times a week with the hopes of arranging a date."

Oh these stupid games again. Go back to kindergarten why don't ya.

"Old School"

Depends. An ambitious career woman impresses me more than a woman, who cooks every day for me. Since we are so busy making banks we can always order food to the door. If doing so means making even more money, then why not.

"Let Him Lead"

What is this? Me boss, you nothing? Me master, you slave? Facepalm.

[PetrovaFire92]

I like this it was funny 🤭 I agree.

[Unit1]

@PetrovaFire92 yeah, it's called having normal human decency mixed with a small amount of common sense. Could be my new favorite cocktail.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I have to say that I disagree this article because it just subjects women to "standards" of perception. I think to find a fufilling boyfriend who appreciates you for you, a woman should be herself.

When she wants to spread her legs or if she wants to pay for a first date or if she wants to dress "prudishly" should not impact her perception of self worth. I think coming up with all of these metrics and coming up with more "reasons" why women can be boxed into "good, for fun, for tonight" without actually addressing the issue that ALL women need to be respected and seen as humans with thoughts, feelings, and opinions that are different.

Women are not objects that are relational to men, men also need to take into consideration their attitudes about "some girls are ghost worthy" and some are "out of their league" and some are "boring, but better than nothing." I think that men should be looking for the same standards in a partner that they put on themselves. If a man will high five his best bro for getting laid from a hookup, he should value a woman who engages in a hookup less. If a man is saving himself for marriage, is it completely reasonable for him to want a woman who also values this (side note: with the bonus addition of realizing that not all people have their belief, and they aren't less deserving of respect for it).

[VIVANT]

-I prefer asking our. That way I know the initiator is not playing games 🤓

-I don’t get the sext thing. Guys seem to love it. I hate it so I’m not concerned. 🤷‍♀️

—I agree very much.. It is likely you won’t know a guy till after sex. And that’s too bad bc lots of time gets wasted thinking he really likes you when REALLY he just thinks he did bc he’s horny AF... I’m STILL not rushing into sex for anyone. That’s just between me and my conscience. 😌

- I would see that as clingy. Once a week or once a month is fine in my opinion But I agree initiate- don’t cling. Draw the line make a clear distinction bc a lot of guts can’t. And they see anything you do as clingy. I don't know who eases these people. 🧐

- Yeah everyone wants their partner to be presentable or it feels like they are just slimming it with you.😐

-lol I don’t think anyone wants to be stuck in a crazy situation but most people are really not crazy, more often it’s just accusing people of crazy gets used to stop a discussion. 😏

- Everyone is their own person. They didn’t just pop up the moment you met. I think this is more problem of ego and perspective, than I co dependence 🤔

- Not a cooker. I eat raw 😎

- Well if I ask him out and he is comfortable with that.. I don’t see why he suddenly needs to imagine he’s king of the hill on a date. I think we are mutually enjoying each other’s time. No one needs to play dictator. 🙄

— Touché dude. Touché lol

.. Respect is a two way street. I find giving it makes the receiving go far. 😉

[TJFreshman22]

Perfect advice. And finally ladies, remember, most guys (I'm one of them!) are dumb as a sack of potatoes!

I'd recommend is take him for a walk through the park on a trail, and just start talking to him about what his interests are relationships and what your looking for. Just tell him your looking for something more long term "with someone" (in case he's not it won't be a rejection and it won't be awkward on the walk back). Ask him what he's looking for (*something more casual or long term with someone?). If he also says long term, but nothing comes of it that afternoon ask him if he'd be interested in looking for something more long term with you? over drinks at a bar next time you meet up. And if he's not showing much commitment move on, or if he is you likely got yourself a boyfriend.

*I would make sure you've been casually dating for a while (month or two) first before asking him out to make sure you know him well enough and like him well enough first before committing yourself to him exclusively.

[Anonymous]

NO NO NO NO NO!!! Dude, girls will never fucking listen to this and then ignore the one good part you had which is to make the first move!

NO! This is way too goddam demanding! No girl is gonna give in to this unless old or ultra desperate. What planet do you live on? I'm pretty sure you are red pilled or at least somewhat, maybe you're even near MGTOW but if so you are making us look like shit saying this!

How much do I disagree? Let's see:
1. "men = visual creatures" So you are equating men with mindless baboons basically. Nice.
2. "Sex is required" Are you fucking kidding me? What girl is going to keep in mind sex is required and do so with every single guy they remotely like?
3. If you are dictating how a girl should look, by and large, they are going to demand a guy look a certain way too. As somebody who doesn't like paying hundreds for fucking fabric, fuck the hell no. Let the girl wear what she wants.
4. Massive contradictions! You can't tell a girl you want her to be independent, yet sit there telling her to act traditional, dress traditional, etc.

I hope you are just trolling to make a point. Cause if not, I regard this as no different as extremist feminist expectations and I'm not even sure I can consider you a man.

[TruthBringer]

That guy is far from red pilled. He clearly gives advice that will turn guys off and not see a girl as relationship material. Especially the part about sex. He tells girls to have sex with them and then they will fall for them, while in reality, guys will already have gotten what they want and see the girl as cheap for giving herself away that easily, thus ending any chances for the girl to have the guy she wants as a boyfriend.

[Romi93]

I do not agree with this, speaking from experience you can do everything that you have mentioned above and the guy may reject you or not want a relationship.
I dated a guy for 9 months, we broke off during the pandemic.
I spoke to him first and he asked me out right away after that.
I texted 2/3 times a week in the beginning and he would talked to me every day from the start (Good morning and Good night every day from the start).
Told me he loved me after a month, saw each other 5 times a week, spend every Sunday together, slept together every weekend (I would go out with friends and he would come pick me to come spend the night with him), went on dates, invited bowling with his friends, celebrated San Valentines day (his idea), we both went away for a week for vacation with our friends to different places (I would talk to him 1 a day at night when I would reach the hotel and he would text me all day and at 3am when he was in the club with friends), etc.
We acted as if we were a couple but when I brought the subject of actually becoming a couple 3 months into dating he told me he wanted to get to know me more, wasn't ready yet, was working on himself, had gotten out of a bad relationship 6 months prior, etc.
We saw each other 5 times a week, so when was it he had time to see other people? Who knows!
But the reality is things ended because 9 months later he still did not want exclusivity and the emotional tie that would actually come from a relationship with a tittle (His words).
So NOTHING guarantees you that if you do all of the above he will become your boyfriend. I did and he didn't want to. Some people are just complicated or just not that into you but are not honest enough to say it.

[LMNOP123]

We're on opposite ends of this higher value guy vs lower value guy. I think of him as lower value if he needs the sex right then and there. That's not working for it, the higher value guys will. Why would I want anyone that has 3 or more options? Sounds like the definition of thinking with your dick. Also a perfect recipe for future cheating if I become 'not enough'.
The women that put out right away aren't considered quality material either. Easy to get with, more than likely to leave if they get what they consider a better offer. Same with the guys.

Lets put it like this. Cheap items draw in more people. Apparently neither you, nor anyone you date can afford the high value items so you all have to shop at the 99 cent store.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Love this! I especially love your last paragraph. People often equate attracting a lot of people to being better than those who don't, and it really isn't always the case.

[FriedPickles1218]

I second this. I know it may be hard to believe lol, but some guys actually do have a genuine interest in building a relationship with a woman and aren't just out for sex. Personally, I need at least a minimum amount of history with someone before I even consider having sex with them.

[LMNOP123]

@FriedPickles1218 @aWes0MeNeSs

Thank you and thank you too.

No worries. I hear you. It's very believable. As far as I know, I haven't met many fuckboys thus far in life. I've encountered more floozies actually!

[DianaWest]

holy crap, the sting of that burn girl. couldn't have said it better myself.

[DianaWest]

@FriedPickles1218 good, then you are a high quality guy. i get it, a guy won't wait for 8 months. but at least 1-2 if you really loved a girl.

[Commander_Red]

"Most likely if sex is not taking place by date three we are thinking about moving on to a new girl."
Here's a tip ladies, if a man ain't gonna wait around until you are ready to have sex, say sayonara and move on. Sex should be enjoyable and it isn't fun if you feel like you're being pressured into doing it.

"Be old fashioned. Show that you can cook."
I'm sorry. I thought we were in 2020, not 1920. Men can cook too. In my family, my father cooked most of our meals and has been married to my mother for over 20 years.

Otherwise, I agree with the other points, however, these are preferences at best, and they shouldn't be presented as a guide.

[DiegoO]

How about 4-6 months waiting, for vague reasons that don't even have to do with marriage.

[Commander_Red]

@DiegoO If you waited that long, I assume you had an open discussion about it. Instead of asking her why she won't have sex, have a discussion as to what would make her feel more comfortable with you. Just continue to have a discussion about it and see how it goes.

[DiegoO]

We breakup long ago. The discussion didn't make much of a different. Everything went down south.

[DianaWest]

lolololol. "high value guys." a guy who is after pussy is nowhere near "high value." men are not the only ones with plenty of options. women can just as easily replace men. look, I agree with some of your points, but the sex bit, just nah. imma wait at least 1-2 months before having sex with a guy, and i'm a virgin. if something is off about him, hell, i'll wait 6 months if I have to. if he wants to leave, then it'll be easier for me, knowing I didn't waste my time. I dont care what other women do, I just don't want to be easy and cheap. but if that's what you consider a "high value" woman. who's had sex with 30 men.

[Apope16]

Why would a guy not value pussy? Why would a woman not value dick? Lets be adults here. Humans are sexual. Nice job having everyone only focus on one paragraph not other qualities.

[DianaWest]

@Apope16 yes, humans are sexual. but why would I have sex with a guy after ONLY 3 dates? that's like what, 2-3 weeks? fuckboys don't want to waste any time, so as long as they hit it after the 3rd date, they're out to conquer their next target. if a man really loves a woman, he should be able to wait at least 1 month. if not, like I said. plenty of men are willing to wait. and if you pressure a woman to have sex when she is not ready, then you may just be pushing away the woman that could've become your wife.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Dude, that's a huge reason girls were able to gain any power, if at all and completely dismantle what could have been a world where we see beyond sex. It all started with women being put on a pedestal simply for being women, instead of simply seen/treated as a fellow human. This bs your'e pushing that pussy is so valuable hurts women, but also men too, and to some degree, more so. Hell, you hurt yourself with those demands. Highly unrealistic. You need to actually get to know a woman as more than a date or sex doll before you spew all this. I can already tell you likely had no sisters and possibly a mother that spoiled you and a dad that ignored you. Just a guess.

[AllieOops]

So you are one of the cretins who goes by the 3 date rule. Guys think a relationship is all about sex. Sex is just a perk and there is more to a relationship than that. As it is girls think they have to be shaven clean, get on their knees every time he wants, and cater to his every whim in order to get a boy friend. Frankly i have found those types of guys are not worth having in any way, shape, or form. I'm happy to see that you are perpetuating that stigma.

[DonCachondo]

Ok then... if sex is such a trivial part of relationships, go ahead and have a bunch of sex outside of relationships :D There can't be a friendzone if we can fuck our friends amirite? XD

[Juxtapose]

Sex is not a "perk", it is why "romance" even exists.

No sex = you're just a friend at best.

[DonCachondo]

@Juxtapose It's no use! Women take sex for granted, man 😭 Like... I get why but it still sucksss

[Juxtapose]

@DonCachondo It's like they don't even want to have fun. It's all supposed to be sentimental bs? Fuck that. My pets and family are more loving and loyal than any woman (and less demanding!)

[AllieOops]

@Juxtapose You know we can say the same about men.

[Juxtapose]

A good man will always put out and treat you well with love.

[Froyologirl]

@Juxtapose mhm and that's why you're going to stay single. So just be a dog dad

[Juxtapose]

@Froyologirl lol I'm bi hun, I don't want for lovers. All I gotta do is search a bit online or meet a friend of a friend. Might have a nice chubby girl as my next one.

[I-am-a-nobody]

Well, if he has the wrong take on the 8 weeks of sex and oxytocin and how a woman bonds to a man, he might as well get the other side of the coin wrong, too.

Really?
Three no sex dates and she's gone?

OK, if you're a person who only cares about sex, maybe so, but for the rest of us this is horrible advice.
You don't want a long term relationship. You just want sex and that's all.
So you'll get sex with someone as promiscuous as you are.
But that's all you'll get. Congrats.

Oh no, I forgot, after 8 weeks of sex with you she'll be hopelessly in love with you.
(Until the next guy comes along.)
Rabbits probably have more discreet mating habits.
Yeah, you're a real quality guy.

[Apope16]

The 8 weeks is trom Corey Wayne. The oxytocin stuff is from research studies.

[Anonymous]

Lol! Pay your own way on dates, don't be a whore, but by the time you are on date 3, you better put out or he will leave?
Hahaha no thanks. He will pay for the dates and I will have sex when I damn well please.
So you basically want us to live by a stereotypical gender roles of being the good girl who fucks when the guy is ready, yet men are free of their gender role and don't have to pay for the date. I don't fucking think so.
If a guy can't even pay for a date, he obviously isn't into me enough to be there for the long run

[anniisa]

That's a good point actually

[Juxtapose]

"If you don't pay *ME* then you're not worth it."

Ah, a hooker!

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose so, if you pay for a girls dinner on a couple first dates, that makes her a hooker? Wow.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah, it does. An unreliable one as well

When I go out to dinner with my friends, we pay for our own food.

If I don't know you but am attracted to you and and am paying for your dinner, that means I am a simp who is hoping to get laid.

That's prostitution and a lot of women exploit that to get free meals.

[Unit1]

@Juxtapose you showed her! Great job! My respect dude!

Let me add to it that i know gorgeous girls, who will make you feel like in heaven (where you're both naked) with happy endings for the same price as paying for a full meal for you both. Straight to business, no bullshit and even a discount for the next visit.

The choice is a no brainer for me. Now these gorgeous prostitutes will get my money.

[Juxtapose]

@Unit1 Damn dude, jusy the price of two full meals? In the USA it's hundreds an hour xD

But thanks man. You spent your money on an honest professional, not some lazy, "I might fuck you if you pamper me for months" woman.

[Unit1]

@Juxtapose That's one upside of the East you know :)
Getting a remote high paying job while residing in those poor countries and paying these prostitutes sounds like a plan.

Honest professionals! Now we're talking!

[DianaWest]

@Unit1 why should girls have sex with you if you don't pay for the first date, which just shows basic chivalry, ya know, which used to exist a few decades ago? ALSO: if YOU asked her out, then you should pay. it's like telling your friend you're gonna take them to a restaurant for their birthday, then asking them to pay for their meal.

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 so you expect a girl to put out for you just for buying her dinner? Wow! Lol. Now I see why you're single

[Juxtapose]

@DianaWest LMFAO! And it's just a convenient coincidence that most women wait for the guy to ask?

I know a scam when I see one. The only thing I should have to pay a woman is my time. I've never made women who asked me out pay.

[Unit1]

@Juxtapose And look at that! They get butthurt because prostitutes have a higher value than the meal hunters! The winners are already decided! 😂😁
Next time I expect true a challenge.

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose "the only thing I have to pay a woman is my time," LMAO! You think you're that special? Even pro athletes pay for a woman on dates

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 oh I'm not hurt babe. Prostitutes are made for guys like you who have problems getting dates. But I got 100 bucks on it that you've never been with a hooker

[Unit1]

Still waiting for that challenge but I see, that i am not going to get one. Fine by me. I have better things to do anyway 😎

[DianaWest]

@Juxtapose right, and yet you feel entitled to her pussy. what do you have to offer besides your dick and your grandiose ego?

[DianaWest]

@Unit1 lol, if you're looking for an expensive way to get STDs, definitely prostitutes are much higher quality than a woman who expects you to pay 40 dollars for a dinner.

[Juxtapose]

@DianaWest I never said I was entitled to anything, unlike you. But hey, if she doesn't have sex within a reasonable amount of time I will just find someone else.. just like she can find someone else if she wants her meals paid for.

And opinion owner, I find it kind of funny how you say I think I'm special when you think you are such hot shit that you deserve to have a man pay just to spend time with you.

@Unit1 This is too easy.

[Unit1]

@Juxtapose They ain't even trying man. Just ask them this one question:

"What can you offer me, that another woman can't?"
Watch the ladies stay and the rest either going away or resorting to ad hominen.

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose "because if she doesn't have sex within a reasonable amount of time..."
but you pretty much said that she has to have sex with you if you bought her a meal, so in other words she has to be a prostitute. so if you don't like paying for dates, how is this going to be possible? Do you make her pay for the first few dates then when you feel she is ready to have sex you finally pay for one?

And I am hot shit. I have plenty of men wanting to take me out. don't go on dates for free meals, I'm not a bum. I go on dates if I like the guy. I will pay for a first date if the guy has no money then it's reasonable. But if the guy has money, and he is not paying for the first date, then either he is not that into me or he lacks the masculine qualities I look for

[Juxtapose]

It's not so much as a trade as a gamble that is probably understood by both of the parties yet not really talked about. You put food into her mouth hoping she will let you feed her lower mouth. This trade of resources for sexual service is prostitution (with a gambling aspect) but people don't really think of it like that.

I just think involving material goods or monetary value into a relationship that is supposed to be about companionship and sex is disgusting.

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose but paying for a girl's date is not prostitution because there is no sex agreed upon as an exchange for that date.

[Juxtapose]

That's why I clarify that it has a gambling aspect to it.

If you only open your legs when resources are involved, no matter how fickle you are about it, that is prostitution.

[Unit1]

@Juxtapose mate, just FYI this is insulting the honest professional prostitutes. I have more respect for prostitutes than entitled females.

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose and if you expect sex because you paid for a date, that is prostitution also, on the client side

[Juxtapose]

Exactly.

[nelly83]

@Juxtapose back then men paid for the date and he couldnt even touch her or even hold her hand until the wedding. Now men can't pay for dates without having sex.

[nelly83]

We have way too many bastard kids running around without daddies already. Let's put a stop to the hook up culture. TheRe really no need for prostitutes nowadays cuz everyone practically is one

[Juxtapose]

@nelly83 Use contraceptives. BC is pretty reliable.

[Juxtapose]

@nelly83 And man, I just want a woman who likes ro really enjoy her body. Hedonism is *hooot*.

[Froyologirl]

@Unit1 stop acting like your a celeb. You're not. You're a 1/10 dude who thinks he's all that

[Froyologirl]

@Juxtapose and you juxtapose need to get rid of your ego. No wonder you're single.

[Unit1]

Huh? Did anybody say anything? It Must have been the echoes in the wind.

[Opinion Owner]

@Froyologirl lol
Who are these guys that don't pay for dates anyway? Maybe I should open the car door for him too. I don't want a fucking beta male

[Juxtapose]

@Froyologirl Bullshit lol. Women love confident guys. Hell, confident women are hot too.

[Opinion Owner]

@Juxtapose I like guys who are so confident they wear those 80s crop tops. Drives me nuts

[nelly83]

@Juxtapose birth control is not like taking tic tacs or tylenol. It can cause long term heath problems down the road and even potentially birth defects. The rise of hookup culture is the same reason why there are more disabled or special ed kids today than ever before.

[Opinion Owner]

@nelly83 I would never take birth control. It causes liver damage, weight gain, all kinds of shit

[nelly83]

Do you realize there is a lot of info that the western media doesn't tell you that other countries already know about for decades?

Abortions are very harmful to a woman's reproductive health. It can increase risk of future miscarriage and lower chance of getting pregnant again.

Birth control is not tylenol or tic tacs. Besides higher risk of osteoporosis, cancer, etc. You also put your child at risk for mental disabilities

[Juxtapose]

lol I don't want a woman who *ever* wants kids anyway. Doctors perscribe BC so it passes a certain medical standard anyway.

[nelly83]

@Juxtapose you're obviously uneducated. Just cuz it's FDA approved , it doesn't mean it's healthy. Heart cholesterol medications can also cause an onset of other diseases. Ask your doctor about it. Taking meds is not chewing gum.

[Juxtapose]

No shit there are side effects lol. You sound like a pussy tbh.

[Opinion Owner]

@nelly83 FDA is a joke. Look at all the drugs that killed people

[nelly83]

@Juxtapose you sound like a guy no girl would ever take seriously as a partner, don't even talk about husband.

[Grond21]

I agree with most of this.

The major disagreement I have is with the advice to give sex on the third date. Some people may desire that kind of relationship, but it is not essential to getting a man. Not even close

[Apope16]

I respect that. But I would say for the majority of men? Yes. Especially if you are one of those high value guys with lady options. The guy is going to take more seriously the girl who puts out. Obviously, if you dont have options and only one girl is in the picture... then you as a guy will focus on her and be more open. But I think that girls reading this will like to hear that sex is not the end all be all.

Word of advice to you men though... If she is weird about sex and is hesitant to be sexual with you... it means that she is leading you on and she doesn't like you like that... you are just her male friendzone and she is getting her kick of attention.

[Grond21]

If she puts out, then she is more likely to be used. After all, when men are using women in a relationship they give emotional connection for sex. Just as women use men by giving sex for emotional connection. So by her giving sex that early, she makes it significantly more difficult for her to judge if he is serious or not. And as you pointed out, oxytocin means that two months in, she is in love. Even if he is a tool bag.

Your advice her puts a lot of women at great risk, while the man is not risking nearly as much. And that is not respectful to them.

My advice to men, if she is weird and hesitant about sex, it could be that she doesn't like you and is getting attention. Or it could be that she has different standards than you. Or it could be that she is hesitating because you haven't shown yourself worthy of it yet. Don't be so quick to judge her because you are not getting what you want. Maybe it's not her, but you

[Secret6620]

@Grond21🎀💖🎀

[Apope16]

That is not true. A guy will use a girl regardless of if she puts out or not. A guy who has honest intentions doesn't just change and start using a woman because she agreed to have sex with him. A man is either moral or not regardless of sex. The only difference is if a woman puts out earlier she finds out sooner and hasn't wasted the last month or 3 months of her time on some guy who was just playing games the whole time. If you like a guy and want to have sex ladies. Then have sex. Stop playing the mind game bullshit with them.

[FancyPantz]

@Grond21: 1000s upon 1000s 😘😘😘😘😘😘 J !! And 🤗🦑🐙

[Grond21]

@Apope16 If a woman puts out earlier then within two months she falls in love. You laid this out very clearly in a recent MyTake. So by putting out early she is crippling her own ability to judge his character. That's putting her in an impossible situation.
The only exception is if she likes being used, then she doesn't care either way.

@FancyPantz Thank you!

[Apope16]

THat is NOT true! If she doesn't have sex within the first 2 months she is LESS likely to fall in love. What happens is that she will friendzone the guy. This is very important. Having sex earlier on in the relationship is very important for pair bonding! VERY VERY important.

The same is true with being sexual in the first two dates. A guy absolutely needs to kiss the girl within the first 2 dates or he will be friendzoned. Women run by emotion not logic! He needs to kiss her or he is friendzoned and she will move on to the next guy. of course ladies if you are reading this there are always exceptions. I get that... but for MOST situations you ladies know this is the case.

Gents if you are reading this back and forth I want to be clear with you because I am trying to help you. You need to demonstrate early on the nature of the relationship. If you dont kiss her by date number 2 then a woman will friendzone you or view you as just a friend. And guys, if you are not having sex within the first 5 or 6 dates... you are in the friendzone my friend.

As yourself this... If you were Brad PItt would a woman be acting this way? Would she be "waiting" on sex? hahaha. please! do not fall for this silly logic. Women are not logic based they are emotion based in romantic situations.

[Secret6620]

@FancyPantz isn't he just GREAT 🌸

[Grond21]

So are you saying that a woman requires physical affection in order to form romantic attachments? It seems like that is your claim, when you say that without that physical affection she will friend zone the man.

I disagree. I think women are very capable of forming attachments of deep love and affection before any physical exchange at all. And history bears this out. Numerous different cultures had stringent restrictions on the physical affection, some to the point of only allowing it during the marriage itself. Yet millions of women throughout history have fallen in love.

In fact, there are even romantic stories where the woman falls for the man just through letters they write to each other. And women love this, because it speaks to their heart.

They are not so shallow that they require sex or even kissing to grow deeply romantically attached. Nor does their emotion always trump their logic. And in the Brad Pitt example, a woman of quality would wait, precisely because she knows her worth.

Women are not so shallow that logic always loses to reason nor do they need physical affection to fall in love. They are far deeper than that

[FancyPantz]

@Secret6620 Oh absolutely! The bestest best friend ever too! 😆

[FancyPantz]

@Grond21: Raucous whistling! 😆 Side note: I'm trying to think of one of those limericks as a cheer. I'll whatsapp when one is complete.

[Grond21]

@FancyPantz You are too!

And okay, sounds good

[Apope16]

I dont believe in slut shaming. A woman who has sex is not shallow. A man who has sex isn't shallow. But regardless of our disagreement here I think it is cool that we agree on most stuff. I am strongly opinionated on this because I am literally trying to save these men out here from your thinking. I think you can see on my post about this that there is a guy who is 41 years old, has never had sex, and has never been married. I feel so bad for those guys.

[Desconhecida]

@Grond21
I think I speak on behalf of all women when I say your last words make us all proud. Women are far far more than some empty minded desperate idiots who would read this ridiculous advices and open their legs simply because a man is hot.
Women also have standards and this guy clearly doesn't understand about women at all.

[FancyPantz]

@Desconhecida you beat me to it. I agree with you. @Grond21: I was just about to type something similar.

[Apope16]

@Desconhecida I think you missed the point I was trying to make. And I think too many women are triggered by a patriarchal slut shaming view. There is nothing wrong with having sex with a man because you are attracted to him. I think your opposition mainly based on societal triggers on how you view women who have sex early on. In reality most women in society based on polls have sex around the first three dates. Most relationships that have succeeded were based on sex early on. This has a biological purpose. Pair bonding through the chemical transformation in the brain after sex is nature's way of creating bonding and lasting love.

[FancyPantz]

@Apope16 So my rational decision to not have sex in the first 3 dates because I want a deeper connection and an emotional intimacy before forging a sexual bond with a man is not what I'm thinking, instead its because I fear slut shaming that has been programmed into my subconscious mind by the patriarchy? Anything else I should be feeling?

[Grond21]

@Apope16 I don't believe in slut shaming either. Nor do I believe in virgin shaming, or whatever the equivalent is called. If a woman wants to wait, then I respect that.
And yes, I also think it's cool that we agree on most stuff. For sure.
As for that guy, I would only feel bad for him if it's not his choice.

[Grond21]

Thank you @Desconhecida and @FancyPantz. I really appreciate it 😁

[Desconhecida]

@Apope16
I wrote my opinion about your take. Differently from what you may think, I'm not a woman who fears slut shaming, I actually support women sexual needs.
The fact that you assume every single woman is the same, quoting polls and kindergarten chemistry is what makes your advices laughable. No offense but if you believe in the 3 date's myth, you are going to have a long lasting relationship with your hand.

[Apope16]

@FancyPantz Again I think you are misreading what I wrote. I am not saying to have forced sex or to have sex when you don't want to. All I am saying is to have sex if you like the guy and want to do so. Don't feel you need to play some game or "rules" or play mind games thinking that by holding out on sex he will like you "more". That is just not the case. So the point I am making here is have sex when you want and when you feel comfortable. But never ever wait to have sex when you want to have sex because you think you can somehow manipulate a man's feelings for you. Does that make sense?

[Grond21]

@Apope16 How do you know that most relationships that have succeeded were based on having had sex early on? What's your criteria?
You mentioned that sex is important for pair bonding, but you also said it makes a woman fall in love. So how can she make a good dispassionate judgement of the guy if she is simultaneously being chemically induced to fall for him?

[Desconhecida]

@Grond21
He's 33 years old!! I was so sure he was 18 or something LOL
Daaaamn!

[FancyPantz]

@Apope16: So you don't agree with your own statement of "have sex within 3 dates? Or "high quality men" will look elsewhere? Did you not imply sex is a hook to hold a man's interest?🤔

[Apope16]

@Desconhecida Grond21 and I for the most part agree. I think what happened her was a misunderstanding. Grond thinks that I am telling women to have sex when they dont want to. That is not at all what I was saying. What I am saying is that women should not use sex as a tool of manipulation!

[Apope16]

@FancyPantz Oh. I think that this is a huge misunderstanding. The point I am making is that both men and women will prioritize people they have physical connections with while dating over those they have not had a physical connection with. Women do this all the time. If a guy doesn't kiss her within the first three dates she will friendzone him in most cases. I am not at all telling women to fuck guys just to fuck. I am saying that you should not use sex as a tool of manipulation to get a guy to commit. That doesn't work. If you want to have sex with the guy then have sex with the guy. Dont play games with him. But I really suggest you ladies should read up on biological pair bonding. It is a scientific fact that sex releases chemicals that create bonding. Look it up.

[FancyPantz]

@Apope16: Guys will prioritize people they have a sexual relationship with. Hmmm.. So if it's Woman A vs Woman B and he's had sex with Woman A , he is likely going to prefer her to Woman B. So if Woman B is to compete with Woman A, she has to spread her legs to keep the man even if she isn't feeling it?

Say, Woman B decides not to sleep with the man. So she has to cut her losses and move on. The next guy that interests her, as per the lesson learned, she has to spread her legs ( Is there a more crass way to say this?) To retain his attention in order to beat out the comptition early? So sex is a tool anyway?

[Grond21]

@Apope16 I think you are telling women that if they withhold sex early on the only reason is because they secretly don't like the guy. And if they want the guy to like them then they should have sex early on

[Apope16]

Oh. I see your point. Right. I think that we agree on most things here and that is super cool. Obviously I love the ladies who responded. I have nothing against them or you. With that said. I would say that in most cases based on polling, scientific studies, etc... most people start having sex within the first 3 to 5 dates. Judging timelines here... a lot of people schedule dates like once a week to begin with. So we are talking within the first 3 weeks to 5 weeks. Which is about a month to 1.5 months. Does that make sense?

But to answer you question. The answer is yes... in most cases if women are acting weird about being sexual they likely dont like you as more than a friend. in most cases if a woman doesn't want to kiss you by date number 3 she most likely doesn't like you as more than a friend.

Now women most of the time are threatened by a guy who speaks the truth about them and will have a herd mentality of opposition about this being exposed. But I am speaking truth to inform men accordingly.

[Desconhecida]

@Grond21
Yay!
You and @Apope16 agreed! LOL

[Apope16]

@Desconhecida Yippeee! Can I give you a hug?

[Desconhecida]

@Apope16
Hugs are for 3rd dates, man! LOL
😂😂😂

[Apope16]

@Desconhecida Haha. You are opinionated. funny and cute. Can we go on a date? just sayin

[TruthBringer]

LADIES, DO NOT take his note of the sex part. He's telling you that you need to open your legs before you get in a relationship. That's the EASIEST way to get pumped and dumped. DANGEROUS "advice" you gave here, @Apope16. The first dates are necessary to get to know each other on an emotional and mental level. It's also where you let your standards know. If sex is discussed, a girl should have the standard of only having sex with someone she is in a relationship with and NOT hooking up. Girls who give sex easily (especially without commitment) are perceived as low value, cheap and not 'relationship material'.

[TruthBringer]

Let me also add that girls who put a standard of having sex only within relationships, will FILTER the fuckboys who are only interested in using the girl for sex and not become their boyfriends. Because no fuckboy will bother himself with a girl that is harder to get in bed. He will target the insecure girls who give away sex easily.

[nelly83]

You're a good man

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Thank you.