I got mad at my boyfriend because I found out he said another girl was hot. He said it was a joke. What should I do? Am I too dramatic?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for more than a year and we've been living together for almost a year. He plays online games with his friends and as I sometimes use his phone (At first because it was better for work, and now because I don't have a phone), I constantly find girls screenshots, I tried not to pay attention to that but once I felt obsessed about one pic because it was from an usser on the game he plays, and following the girl pic it was another screenshot with her ussername. I looked just for the image on his group chat and found out he sent that and wrote "Omg I would totally play with her" following by the drooling face emoji. I've been through that before and ended up being replaced, so and old wound opened, and now even bigger because my boyfriend is the real love of my life. I asked him about the screenshot and he lied to me saying it was a girl that looked like an old classmate, then I confessed and he just got mad because I read his messages. I constantly listen to him playing with his friends and a few times I overheard them talking about their ex's, also he used to talk to a lot of girls prettier than me, so I constantly feel in danger to be left. Am I being too dramatic? If this is a real problem, how should I start solving it?

[LinaLuv]

All I can say is this... for a healthy relationship to happen or last both partners need to make each other feel loved, special and important... most of all comfortable. If these things don't happen and unwanted situations come up like what you have described the relationship becomes toxic because one or the other person will start to feel insecure... I just feel like when you really love someone from your heart you make then feel like they are all that matters to you and you should mean that... not in a fake way. All your actions and behaviors should reflect that and you should have a deep level of respect towards the one you love. . With the respect comes boundaries and rules when talking about other girls and guys. What he did was wrong and saving other girls pics on his phone when he has a girlfriend... ughhh I think that is fucked up... like what if you scared other guys pics on your phone... ones that you chat with or play o ljne games with and you're attracted to them... like what are u saving their pics for when you have a boyfriend? Yk thats just kinda hurtful. Of the relationship is not good and it's toxic in some ways you should try to resolve those issues with your partner... give them a chance... but after that chance if they don't fix it then you should leave him... it's better to not waste even more and more years in something that doesn't make you fully happy... but you know your situation better than us... anyways hope that helps :)

[Loveyours]

I'm pretty sure you look at some people and also think they look hot... In a relationship we have to understand yes they are better looking people than us but we choose our partners cause our soils vibe and we are different and better together... looks aren't everything she might be hot but she ain't you... Period

[Adam1978]

First of all guys can think other women are hot. Doesn't mean he will rush off after her. He didn't joke, he said that to try to disarm your overreaction. Guys chat like that all the time, it's harmless banter. It won't lead to any action. It's like gag would you do this or that woman and the answer is usually yes, because that what expected. Not a deep analysis of their personality or situation. It's just a what if, if there is no recourse of those actions. In real life there is so and they have to actually seduce the woman in question on top of that. Much more than the empty banter in a guy chat.

[SpiritBear]

You need to chill is what. Men find other women hot, and it doesn't turn off when they're in a relationship. It's not their choice to think if a girl is attractive or not. It's just as okay as you thinking other guys are hot. It's okay. Arguably, you need to draw the line at flirting. If you chokehold him into only liking you, he's going to want other women more and more. when you restrict something, rebellion is inevitable. Just like teens and porn.

[loooooop]

Guys will always think other girls are prettier than their current girlfriend, he's just vocal about it with his friends. He doesn't talk this way around you because he doesn't want you to react the way you are right now.
You should probably have a talk with him about how you feel (not an argument) just to make your position transparent. He may change something to make you more comfortable, or he might not do anything at all because he doesn't see the issue

[CHARismatic110]

You have to decide if you trust him or not. If you can't trust him then I don't think you need to be with him.

[chriscdi]

if its an open wound i can't really judge but just have a proper discussion with you guy, no argument, and actual convo about it and hopefully y'all can work it out

[KrakenAttackin]

You are waaayyy too dramatic. Attraction to other people is normal and natural. Commitment means not acting on that attraction.

You sound like a super-prude. He should probably move on if you are this insecure.

[In_Trance]

you're too dramatic