So a few months ago, I broke up with my ex girlfriend (I even posted a question here about it) telling me she needed space, when actually she wanted to be with another guy. Since it was the second time we've broken up, its easier for me to get over it. I've started to grow interest on other girls, but I'm not ready for dating yet, I like being single (and no, I'm not being a player either).
Anyway, about a month ago, I met this girl. She's really cool, and we hang out and talk occassionally. Now, this girl admitted that she likes me, but I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship right now. She took it alright, and, although it's a little awkward now, we remain friends. The thing is, my ex found out that this girl and I are friends (probably through social networks, which by the way SUCK). My ex and my friend used to know each other in high school and hated one another. My ex thinks my friend and I are dating (we are not), and she went crazy on Twitter. In fact, she even posted a tweet saying I'm dead to her, and that I'm not a gentleman. Even after she broke my heart, got a new boyfriend, and I'm not even on the dating plan right now!
So it all seems a bit weird and crazy. What does this mean? Is it possible that my ex is trying to control me? Or that she still has feelings for me?
Please people, your opinions and comments are welcome. Please share! And thanks in advance!
Most Helpful Guy
Both men and women do this: it's called back-burnering. She no longer wanted you as her primary relationship, because something "better" (at least, temporarily) came along that she wanted more, BUT, she wanted you on her "back burner" as a safety net, so that if the new, exciting guy turned out to be a jerk (and he probably will), then she could come back to you, and you'd have missed her so much that you'll happily take her back and feel grateful for the privilege.
What she didn't count on was you accepting the breakup and moving on successfully. You've ruined her back-up plan, and left her with no safety net, and so now she's vulnerable, and she knows it, and she blames YOU for that, because she's used to getting her way. I'm sure she also thinks she's the "more desirable one" in the relationship, so naturally she expected to have all the power. Now she realizes she doesn't, and that's not easy for her to accept.
But there's a reason for the phrase "The best revenge is LIVING WELL!" That means, if you REALLY want to get revenge on someone who dumped you and didn't value you, the best thing you can do is forget about them and work on making YOUR life great. You don't even need to flaunt your success and happiness at them; that type of person will always keep tabs on you, hoping you'll be a wreck without them, and angry (and confused/hurt/shocked) when you aren't.
But that's THEIR problem, not yours.