Search Results: college guys and dating

I love what I do, I do what I want. I've been a landlord since I was 25, and an investor. I volunteer for non-profits instead of working a 9-5. Periodically, I take low paying jobs for fun like being an assistant teacher. Sometimes I'm in college classes. Or, I just spend the year hanging out with family or traveling. It's an out-of-the-box lifestyle. I can sleep in, go to bed late. I'm free.

The problem is dating.

If I say I'm a 33 yr old student, people want to know what I'm going to do with the degree. Nothing. I don't need it. I just like to learn. They want to know what I have planned for a "career". Nothing, I enjoy making money while just relaxing and enjoying life. I went out of my way to figure out how to earn money while working the least amount I could in a formal job.

If I say assistant teacher, they think "that's cute" and ask when I plan to be an actual teacher or move to the next "bigger" job.

If I say landlord or investor, people react like they see dollar signs or get intimidated. They start trying to figure out how rich I am, how I got to where I am, and then they exit when they feel too far behind is the impression I get. Or, they immediately stop being interested romantically and want me to "hook them up".

The most people, men and women, run away when I mention being an investor or landlord. People think student or assistant teacher is cute and will actually date me. Volunteer brings people back to, "But how do you make money?"

Personally, I'm old fashioned. I feel the focus should be on how much money the man brings in. I'm surprised how much focus is placed on me. I know a lot of successful guys who would date a girl working a low paying job or no job at all. So, why is it even really an issue if I make a lot? It's an issue if I don't make much, but it's not nearly as much of an issue as me possibly making more.

Has anyone else had these issues with dating? Have you lost interest in someone because of their job, how much they make, etc?

I am venting and know I might get some hate for this. I’m 26 with no real dating history. I’ve had a short term relationship which was absolute shit. I was told in HS and college to wait it out, be patient and focus on your education. Years later, I’m graduated, own my place and have a decent living. I don’t necessarily want kids but I just don’t get my lack of suitors. I know I’m not a ten, at least cute. People have complimented my looks, I struggled with my weight growing up. I was chubbier so I can see how in Hs I was overlooked. Now I’m thinner, I gained a bit of weight during COVID but am close to my smallest weight from 3 years ago. I looked alright in college and never got approached. I hate when people ask why I don’t have a man and while that question can either be a compliment or just a dig to get into my business, I wonder myself. I’ve been on the dating apps for years and have called quits, was on and off. I was just frustrated with the guys that came my way. I always attract the men I would not want to date physically, hence why that short term relationship I had did not work. On the rare occasion I send a message first, it fizzled out very quick. When guys message me first, it goes a little further. The cute guys are usually dicks, the decent looking guys are alright but a little too short for my preferences and the less attractive guys are always pursuing. They have decent personalities but just not what I want in a man. Am I just cursed or too picky?

So I'm a part of a college Christian youth group and I'm worried that one of the guys in that group likes me. At first I just had a hunch because of eye contact and his body language, but I didn't want to be narcissistic, so I just brushed it off and convinced myself I was imagining things or overthinking him just trying to be nice. In the past week, he has made an effort to go out of his way to be nice or chivalrous to me on many occasions. Even to the point of waiting for me to drive off first so that I would lead the way. In our group chat on messenger he reacts to every single one of my messages, even when it's mainly girls just sending hearts. He doesn't do this to anyone else. And he doesn't pay as much attention to anyone else either. For a few reasons, he is not and will never be attractive to me (I don't mean this physically). He is not a person that I could ever see myself with. In our church people don't really date unless they're looking to eventually find the right one to marry and think the person they're about to date might be them. We don't just date for fun or cause it feels nice to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. So it's pretty serious when you have a guy show any interest. I'm totally freaking out because (1) he's 24, I'm 19... it's not creepy, but he's ready for marriage, I'm not. (2) I have about 4 more years of school ahead of me before I want to marry so that means I probably wouldn't be dating anyone for another two years. (3 ) I'm interested in someone else... Who, yes doesn't know or probably like me back, but I would never be able to even consider feelings for someone else while I still like him. (4) one of my close friends likes him, and if she found out she'd be devastated. (5) I don't want this to get dramatic and explode in our group. I don't want people to find out and cause more issues. (6) I don't want to hurt him, just because I don't like him that way, doesn't mean I don't have a soul or that I don't care.