Search Results: earning trust

Everything was going great with me and my boyfriend, Saturday night he was originally supposed to stay the night until work called and said he had a shift. He left and texted me minutes after. Next morning I noticed something in my room went missing. I accused him of stealing without even thinking... (I have had people in the past steal from me before). Just a text saying "I would appreciate it if you gave it back or told me where you left it"... with a confused response and then he ignored me for rest of day. Turns out it was my mother who took the item not him.

I felt bad about accusing him, it probably hurt him and when I told my best friend he said he probably was mad at me and feels distrusted by me. I don't blame him for feeling that way, I gave him some space. Earlier I finally got him to talk. Sending a long apology text saying how wrong I was and what I should have done explaining I have trust issues (previous relationship was abusive; he knew this at the beginning of the relationship) and that I will try to work on trusting him as he hasn't done anything wrong. But his response was "I'm the opposite, I never trust again." and it led to him saying "you doubted your trust in me and if there's no trust there's nothing there". He also said I didn't do anything for him to not trust me but it's the fact I question his own trust... he never actually said "I'm breaking up with you" but all the texts seem to point in that direction.

Correct me if I'm wrong but trust is earned, not given. I feel like he's not being fair and over-reacting. But when one of our friends talked to him (she said to him that she hoped we would work things out) he actually said "yea I hope so, I just want her to trust me"...

In the beggining of our relationship I caught him lying on multiple occasions. Lying to me is no joke and I probably shouldve broke up with him then. I caught him on multiple occations after many fights but after a year we got to better terms and he has earned his trust back. Although i still catch him in little lies we have fought for our realtionship and worked though all the ups and down and are happily in love. Untill about a month ago. I cheated. I was mad and drunk, that is no excuse for what I did. Although it took me about a month to fess up, the fact is I did. I wouldve told him straight away because I felt like thats what he would've wanted, but I was seeing my councelor and was convinced I would loose him if I told him. That is why I didn't tell him right away.

So my boyfriend recently made a female friend online who has a boyfriend but she is the flirty type. She's already told my boyfriend if things were diff. with both of them she would totally be in a long dis. relationship with him. She had msg'd him about her getting a pole and he responded flirtatiously by saying "I would love to see your legs wrapped around that pole swinging*blush*"
When I confronted him about this he admitted it was highly inappropriate and he had a 'moment of weakness' he said that it just felt 'easy' to do (he works a lot, doesn't have energy for sex sometimes) It's just that, that day we had sex! Even a shower together! and he sends a flirty message to her later, I don't understand. He said it was a mistake and he didn't tell me cause he felt guilty about it, he promised it won't happen again and I made it clear what would happen if it did. I could tell when we talked about it he shed some tears and I could feel the remorse. It seems like it was "just a flirt" but it really hurt because it was a friend not a stranger.
He said that he'd stop talking to her but I don't want to seem controlling telling him he can't be friends with her. He said, nothing is more important to him than our relationship, and it's not worth it interfering with us. He has admitted that he finds her attractive so when he sent it he was talking out of his dick, not his head/heart. He said he loves me and only wants to be with me and compared the attractive part to me thinking Brad Pit is attractive, like she's attractive but he loves me and would always choose me over her. Should I be comfortable with them being friends, or take him up on the offer for him to stop talking to her? Would this make anyone else very uncomfortable?
I told him he has to earn some of my trust back and he understands and wants to work to get it back. Am I justified to see his phone with his permission in order for him to gain my trust back/are there other ways he can?