Search Results: falling in love with a friend feelings

We've been friends on Facebook for 5 months. We have had conversations that have lasted 8/9 hours and overnight until sun up. Not deep or dark things but just conversation, that flows SO EASILY. We have the same interests and same way of talking, honestly I feel in shock I "met" him and I think about him every single day. We have not met yet but we have discussed doing so and exactly what we'd do, not sexually, I mean, we've talked about making out and stuff but he's trying to be respectable.. he wants to know me as a person.. I'm SO into this guy.. I'm banking everything on he and I working out. It's in my gut, and I feel like I've caught some disease. I haven't ever felt this way in my life towards any guy in person or online, and I feel like I've lost my head. But now I feel so doubtful or sad because what if it's all in my head? How do I know he thinks about me just as much as I do him? He initiates majority of the conversations. We've gone a month or more without talking though and he always comes back like no time has passed (he tours for work so he travels and when he comes back he messages me first thing). Each time he takes it up a notch, like he suggests we should do this and that together this winter, he'll show me this and here and take me there, etc... but then there are days where we won't talk or a week, and it makes me feel so much doubt. I can't talk to him about it because I don't want to appear crazy into him... Is there is a great possibility he likes me just as much?

so we dated a bit but i was not in a good place for dating. intimacy issues which i've been working on. at the time though i thought it was the worst thing in the world to be in love and that was only for losers. i'm embarrassed by my previous thinking and i feel bd at how i just casually moved on. though i suspect i was already falling and this was part of a protective armor. 'if i'm disgusted by love i won't succumb to it' kind of thing.

anyhow we are friends now a year later. we were off speaking for a while, his choice which i totally understand. I don't know if he's forgiven me for being so insensitive or he's just chosen to ignore it. thing is i want to apologize. but i know i'm in love. i don't want to apologize BECAUSE i'm in love and want him. i want to apologize bc how i handled things was wrong.


is it even necessary to apologize if i've said i'm in love.. that can kind of explain weird behavior anyhow, right?

Again i don't feel threatened by saying i'm in love. so telling me not to say anything to protect myself is not helpful. i'm just trying to figure out what would make more sense objectively. i kind of want to get it out of the way, then if he still wants to be friends after that i'd feel comfortable apologizing. whereas not knowing if he's 'ok' with my being in love, i think it makes everything extra awkward.

i'm ok if he's not in love, its the feeling that he'd be pissed off or freaked out if he knew that bothers me but i know in the pats thats how I'D feel, so I don't know if i'm projecting there or not. I think telling him is like my way of forgiving myself for falling in love or even saying its 'ok'. giving permission. but would it be a terrible thing to do to him?

i think i answered my question but just wanted some outside perspective.

Both 23 by the way.