Man, I've finally made it to my 100th Take. And November 29th made it 2 years that I've been on this site. I always wondered what I'd do for my 100th Take. If you'll remember, I dedicated my 75th Take to my city. It's kind of funny how this being Take 100 and my 2 year GaGerversary ended up lining up with each other. Add to that the fact that new year is a mere 30 days away. So I've decided to dedicate this myTake to looking back. Take a walk with me down memory lane as I reflect on my time here so far and just this past year in particular. Come along and buckle up now, for the ride will be a bumpy one.
I came across this place in the most random way ever, and probably the same way just about everyone else here did: Google. I was on Google one night randomly asking a bunch of different question, which I'll admit were mostly about sex. After getting directed here a few times, I browsed around for a bit and I was instantly intrigued. So I created an account and that is how I stumbled down the rabbit hole that is GaG.
After initially making the account, I completely forget about it and didn't log back in for weeks. It took me going to Google to ask another question to remember that I had an account! But once I did, I came back and asked My First Question. And man, to look back at that and compare it to now, is so weird! But that, like most of my first questions here, was asked anonymously. I was EXTREMELY shy about all things sexual back then and since most of my questions were of that nature, Char was pretty nonexistent.
I eventually started to ask other questions under my name. And I quickly became addicted to this place. I was on here constantly! So much so that they made me a mod! I made a few friends, but I was NOT a fan of the GaG popularity contests (told you guys, THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN AROUND). I even Protested Them. After awhile I just got used to them and even started participating. Eventually I learned that the longer you're here and the more friendships you build, the more likely you are to be tagged in them.
7 months after joining, I was a Guru. And you bet your ass I made a huge fuss about it, coining the term GuruDay. Even more exciting for me was becoming an Editor. Writing myTakes is my favorite aspect of this site because writing is what I love to do. It's what I do outside of this site. It's who I am. So I was excited to earn that title. Back when you had to earn it. I even did a GaG Color War! If you search it, the questions will come up. That was a fun time. Blue team are the reigning champs! All in all, my first year on GaG was pretty damn good!
Welcome to year 2. I lost friends on here, point systems changed, long time users left, we lost people, and the overall feel of the site just didn't seem the same. And this was in just in the first few months. I did hit Master status at the 1.5 year mark. Of course I celebrated with MasterDay 😎. But that was basically the only major highlight of this year on GaG, and that's saying something in comparison to the first year. I want to get into some personal reflections from this year though. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Only let's start in reverse.
I broke the Cardinal rule and fell for someone online (yup, it was on GaG) that ended up completely crushing my heart. I'm used to rejection, but I'm not used to it when I feel that strongly about someone. I didn't know how to process what I felt. That happened in February. Pretty much set the tone for my year. I relapsed back into cutting which was something I had not done for 11 years. That was hands down the worst part of my year. In the moment, it helped stop what I was feeling. Oh but the realization afterwards. Realizing what I just thrown away? ELEVEN YEARS? I spiraled for a bit after that. Kind of stings to talk about, but I said I would be raw and uncut, so I will. The ugly lasted til April. I made my last cut and haven't looked back since.
During my first year on GaG I posted about weight-loss journey and how I'd lost 40 pounds by changing my eating habits and working out. Well after the whole February thing, I lost all motivation. I started eating like shit and barely working out. As a result, I gained half the weight back. That didn't stop me from doing a 5k in June. I felt fine throughout the entire run and I completed it with no issues. I guess my adrenaline kept me going because I got home and passed out while climbing my stairs. I thank God I only made it up about 3 stairs before falling. It could've been much worse.
In July, I got a monster migraine that wouldn't quit for a week straight. I went to the ER and ended up in the hospital for a week. I left there diagnosed with Pseudotumor Cerebri also known as Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension, which is basically when pressure inside your brain increases for unknown reasons. While in the hospital, one of the meds they gave me made me sick. A nurse put it in my IV and it instantly made me feel weird. Dizzy and out of it. A few minutes later, I threw up all over the bathroom floor. That was the afternoon of the second day I was there. I didn't eat for the rest of my stay and for a few days after I came home. When I did get some what of an appetite back, all I could stomach was broccoli and pickles. I dropped 18 pounds in 2 weeks. One of the options for dealing with the diagnosis was to get a shunt inserted. I heard that and freaked out. Luckily my neurologist said that we weren't at that stage yet and put me on a pill regimen. But learning that this was probably something that I would have for life was disheartening. I already have an autoimmune disease. It just wasn't a good time.
So I've you haven't stopped reading by now, so far 2016 has brought me heartache and sickness. So you're wondering where the good, right? After the relapse, I did some serious soul searching. Which I was long overdue for anyway. That helped me to get back on track and played a major part in getting clean from cutting. It also gave me serious inspiration for writing. I will always be grateful for that. That 5k I mentioned earlier? My 3rd one. With a noticeably faster personal finish time. That motivation that I lost? After getting sick and being in the hospital, something in me snapped. I was looking at my discharge papers and saw my admitting weight. I remembered how I felt when I first hit 40 pounds lost. How hard I worked and how good it felt. And I promised myself right then and there that I wouldn't let anyone or anything knock me off my square again. I started seeing a nutritionist and got back to working out. Today, I'm damn proud so say that I've lost the weight that I'd gained back PLUS and additional 15 pounds. And counting. Confidence is an area that I've struggled with my whole life. I mean you can see that from the first question I asked here. For the first time, I can actually say that I feel confident. The other day someone way told me that MY confidence inspired them, and I cried. Being the giver of this statement more times I can count, it meant a lot actually hear it from the other side. In that moment, I saw how far I've come.
2 years, 20,654 opinions, 100 Takes, and 526 questions later and here I am. Though the bad outweighed the good (on here and my life in general) this year, I wasn't raised to quit. I've met some amazing people here, some who've stuck by me through these rough times. They know who they are so I won't tag the lot of em, but just know that I love yall! One thing I have learned here is that this site is what you make it. If you feed the trolls, they will grow big and eat you. If you don't give them energy, they go back under their bridge. If you don't engage in pointless debates with people, you won't get into pointless arguments. Block the things you don't want to see and the people you don't want to deal with and go about your business! As for me, I'll be around, writing Takes and being charismatic. Duh 😉. I'm ready to end this year on a high note, and more than ready for 2017. So thanks for 2 years, here's to 2 more! Stay classy guys, and remember: never fall in love on GaG! 😂😂😂