Search Results: get over rejection

Is this possible?

I've asked my self being bisexual many times as well. I feel I've been too controlled, gaslighted and humiliated by women, either bullying as a kid, rejection and friendzone (I'm not forcing them to be my girlfriend but I hate being guilt tripped for me not wanting to be their friend after such a wasted effort). I suspect the abusive figure of my mother is behind this as well. All to the point I can't see women in a positive light when it's about personal relationships. I can be polite, work in a professional environment, but I'll definitely feel uncomfortable anytime things turn personal.

I'm a person who values trust, love and communication over sex. I don't feel comfortable kissing or having sex, indeed. I don't feel entitled to anything, I don't want to control nor be controlled. I've found that for my whole life, the closest degrees of this kind of trust I've ever experienced have been with men, indeed. Forced to call it friendship or not. It's not ideal easy to get the right emotional distance, to reach consensus on what we want, but I've come to feel it's way more feasible for what the people I've known are in my country.

Some people would rather suggest me to approach it via therapy, but I've been there, didn't work.

Disclaimer: I'm not idealizing it. When I think of myself as gay, I don't see myself eventually finding a man I'd love and be loved. It might not even happen, but at least I don't feel that intrinsic aversion I have to women, but hope and predisposition.