Search Results: she says she is not ready to date

I went on 2 dates with a girl. We kissed on the second date. The COVID19 shutdowns happened. We have been having weekly 2 hour phone calls ever since.

She says to me, "Maybe with the nice weather, you can come over this weekend for some responsibly socially distant drinks. :) "

I kind of continue flirting with her about how we might break that and be affectionate. She says, "We might... or I might be too much. I've been told that too."

So I go on flirting and she all of a sudden says:

"It's been a long time. Maybe a video call would be good? Or if you'd be good with a social distancing bbq this weekend with my best buddy, Jason, we can see each other then. haha"

See how she shifted things from it sounded like us being together one one one to all of a sudden having some guy in the mix?

She goes on to explain,

"Jason, I've known for years. We met on tinder and the dating thing didn't work, but we became great friends. I think you'd like him. He's a very fun version of me. haha."

The whole exchange was so confusing. I tell her to get back to me about it later. But somehow I felt that it was all made up bullshit. That there was no event coming up. I knew this Jason guy existed because she had told me about him and how they had originally met on Tinder before (on the first date).

Anyway, the next day, I am planning my weekend trying to choose between which ladies I will hang out with. I ask her if things were a go. She says, "... it's not going to work Saturday. My sister asked that I babysit my niece that evening."

Am I wrong to think this whole thing was odd? Is she shit testing me? Is she just not ready for a situation that could lead to us having sex? Is she trying to friendzone me? Or is she trying to get her male friend to meet me and approve of me?

I hear men complain how women have the upper hand when it comes to dating, and I'm always trying to tell them that it's because you give it to them.

Dating is a sad thing these days. Men go on Tinder whoring themselves out and swiping right on every woman in hopes that one of them will respond and women go through them like a catalog and pick out the guy she likes the most, dating has become online shopping.

I think men need to stop being so desperate and take control of who they decide to be with. Stop accepting whatever you can get and start going for what they want. Start setting our own standards and find out what they want and look for that.

I haven't dated before because I chose to leave it on the back burner for when I'm ready, and I'm not going to get into it out of societal pressure. I'm also a virgin who only wants to date other virgins, and my loyalty lies with my future love and I want the same in return. That's the standard I put forth and that's what I want and going for, and I have the strength to say no to what I do't want.

Guys, stop letting women rule your entire life and complain about it afterwards. Put you foot down and have self respect.