Society & Politics

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Before I start this, I just want to say that I am all for girls and women to have strength and I feel you can have a healthy side where you as your own gender accept part of the other gender. I don’t want to be simply placed inside of my male box that society wants to be put me into, a number of times without my choice. My issue is that I have fallen too far into the feminine side. Got too lost in day dreams of finally being welcomed and accepted, to be wanted and desired, to feel special and loved. options and power. The goal of this is to address where I as a man fit into all of this.


So, I have done posts like this before but I feel like this may hopefully be slightly different as I am trying to get towards a point of understanding rather than just pointing the negative things out. These are all assumptions. I am guessing that some may be valid but because of our genders changing so much, it is likely that some of these views have changed too.


Again, before I keep going. These are all assumptions but one’s that I feel to be true. I would be interested to hear different views on my points or if you agree with them to some extent but other than that I have articles to at least loosely back me up, I will do that for as many points as I can. It will be interesting to see what I can find for each point.


So being isolated at home has kept me at home with my thoughts and likely too much time to think about them. I got my brain into a web where It was hard to dig myself back out again. So, I wanted to try some self-help books. And came across this one where the author was pretty amazing and fun.


Unf#ck Your Brain: Getting Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers with science


Faith G. Harper, PhD, LPC-S, ACS, CAN

Where do I fit in with Female power?

So, I felt like trying to reach out to her, to see if it was even possible, considering her fame and charge for her profession. But I followed the links and came up with this page that led me to this saying connected with this book.

“Are you a smart feminist woman who struggles with anxiety and insecurity? Then you're in the right place”

This is pretty much the basis for this article. Let me type that again.

“If you are a smart feminist woman who struggles with anxiety or insecurity?”

Can you be a smart feminist man who struggles with anxiety or insecurity?

Where do I fit in with Female power?

I see quite a lot of support groups for women. Because women clearly need them for a number of things. It is completely understandable. But I would like to go into more detail on this.

Article supported point: https://www.selfhimprovement.com/articles/why-we-need-more-mens-support-groups

Just being female means you are more sensitive and are able to have more attention. More sensitive meaning, clearly a means to be taken care of and supported.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

All this rightfully so. I am not saying that all women get this treatment per say but imagine any romantic movie. It is clearly all about pampering the woman and giving her special treatment.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Being pregnant is clearly a burden and it one of the most painful and annoying things in life to go through. But you are the center of attention where ever you go for better or worse. Guys don’t have the ability to make a life choice and be praised just based on their appearance. Given that having a baby that you don’t want leaves you with many difficult choices but if it is one that you do want, it can be a very beautiful thing. It is not a bad thing to be acknowledged for needing more support but it is nice to have it available to you.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Article supporting point:
https://www.spiked-online.com/2019/09/27/millennial-men-need-to-man-up/

For women, whenever there is something that they are struggling with, other women or men even don’t tell them to women up. They allow them to talk to get their emotions out so they feel better. For men, you just need to man up and it does not matter if you are struggling with your feelings. You are a man and you just need to take it like a man.

Another interesting thing is girls/women are seen as non-threatening.

Article supporting point:
https://www.inclusivesecurity.org/training-resources/why-women/women-access-theyre-viewed-less-threatening/
“Because there are some realms (physical, cultural, etc.) where men are prohibited, women can quite literally go places and say things that men cannot.”

Where do I fit in with Female power?
Where do I fit in with Female power?

If a girl in hoodie at the top let’s say was alone on a bench, I would argue that it is more likely that she would get support or company than be seen as a threat.

Where do I fit in with Female power?
Where do I fit in with Female power?

Let’s say there is a guy alone on the bench in a hoodie in exactly the same way. He is seen as a threat and avoided. This is clearly done because men have shown themselves to deserve this label but what does it do for the men that are not threating? If you were a guy that just got over a break up and needed a place to be alone and a cop came by and went, hey buddy you need to move on you can’t be here alone like this because he was seen as a threat, how do you think that makes him feel? Sure, you could say that he is stupid for sitting there in the first place. But, overall, men are seen as threating and women are seen as supportive. Another example, let’s say a woman walked into a school and a man walked into a school how will each be treated? Let’s say one is a father and the other a mother or a bigger sister and bigger brother. They could both be considered equal when they say they are there for someone but I have the feeling that the woman will be treated gentler than the man would. Understandably so, but over time what does this do to a man’s thinking?

The term self-fulfilling prophecy comes to mind. Of course, there are men like Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers but do we assume that, of course not. We assume that men are aggressive and violent and we raise their car insurance rates because of this fact. Instead of seeing them peacefully tying their shoes or painting a picture we them assaulting people and being a danger. Because that is what most men are prone and proven to be.

In other words, it is a much better feeling to be alone in a safe area as a woman than it is a man, in a park for example. Now one point that could act to show that this as a disadvantage is not being able to be safe as a woman by herself. It is understandable. But my idea is all about how people view genders and what comes to mind when they see a girl in a hoodie vs. a guy.

Moving on to my next topic of dating. Now let’s be clear women have to be concerned more with safety while dating than men do.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Articles supporting point:
https://nypost.com/2019/06/21/a-third-of-women-only-date-men-because-of-the-free-food-study/

https://www.BBC.com/news/magazine-26172314
“Speed dating: Why are women more choosy?”

But it’s clear to me that women have options. Put yourself on a dating site as a man and this is what you will get.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Article supporting point:
“Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work For Most Guys”
https://www.vidaselect.com/why-online-dating-doesnt-work/

“You have no matches yet” Just being a woman, I would argue, that you are ten times more likely to find a match than a man. Maybe even more so. And if that is not enough in terms of how much control women have with dating. You have programs like bumble.

“Bumble has changed the way people date, find friends, and the perception of meeting online, for the better. Women make the first move.”

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Article supporting point:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/18/fashion/bumble-feminist-dating-app-whitney-wolfe.html
“With Her Dating App, Women Are in Control”

Women make the first move. This is different from being approached in public where that is welcomed at least by me anyway but in this way, guys have no control and the best-looking guys and the ones that have the best shiny careers are chosen first. I am not saying the same does not happen with other women where guys do not choose them but I am saying that women clearly have the control when it comes to dating and I feel partly that it is expected of family to choose the right guy. But is it possible to find a man that is not in shape and not financially well off to be a good fit? It sounds like you having to go to the bottom of the barrel. But what if we place it on personality first. All this to say women have control when it comes to dating.

Leading into my next part,

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Articles supporting point:
https://thepowermoves.com/female-relationship-control/
“Female Domestication: How Women Control Men & Relationships”
https://www.health24.com/Sex/Relationships/why-men-love-sex-more-than-women-20180531

women have the choice of when they choose to be sexy and desire intimacy. I feel like guys have a greater desire to be intimate than girls do. So, when a woman is ready to be intimate, odds are the man will too. But not so the other way around. Girls can pretty much choose when to be intimate, while guys have to wait for the right time. It is hard to discuss this as consent is so important. It is all about her saying when she is ready and not be forced otherwise. This would probably be a good argument to oppose this point.

On another point, female attraction and women liking muscles

Article supporting point:
https://www.themodernman.com/dating/why-do-women-like-guys-with-muscles.html

You can say that you don’t but every night club for women will have ripped men in briefs flexing their arms. I assume a number of girls know what it takes to get muscles, it takes time, sacrifice and dedication. But I can say there is such a thing as plus size female models because they exist. I can’t say I remember of any plus size male models. In other words, it is simply easier to be attractive as a female vs. a male.

My next big idea involves clothes and the coming trend/ the one we are currently in.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Articles supporting point:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/link-between-clothing-choices-and-emotional-states-0330124

“. A new study suggests what many women have experienced: dressing in nicer clothes makes you feel better.

According to a recent news release, one study has shown that women who are depressed or sad are more likely to wear baggy tops, jeans, and a sweatshirt or jumper. Women who are happy or positive are more likely to wear a favorite dress, jewelry, and jeans. These clothing choices seem to mean that women who are feeling down put less effort into what they’re wearing, and women who are in a good mood tend to try and look nicer to match their mood.”


“When the ‘Future is Female,’ What Do We Tell Our Boys?”

https://www.parenttoolkit.com/social-and-emotional-development/advice/social-awareness/when-the-future-is-female-what-do-we-tell-our-boys

It is a motivator to be able to dress to your mood. To be able to have variations of how you look and be able to change your look in an instant without being judged. Let’s say it’s a summer day, you can decide I want to wear a simple sun dress or have a really fun combination with skirt or dress in ripped jeans with a fun graphic shirt in sunglasses or wear a pair of shorts and a cropped t-shirt or have fun dressing up in 80’s wear. All those styles are options. They can change your mood and help you to express yourself. Fashion really does not do that as much for men. We do have options but if you look in a men’s section compared to a women’s the options are clearly depressing and limited for men.

In other words, women have a greater ability to express themselves more than men do.

Then there is the sign that the woman is holding. This to me gives me goosebumps and excitement. Finally, women are getting the attention and rights they deserve. But my concern leads to how the gender weights are set. We want to balance them. One of the biggest weights to balance that I’ve heard of is work.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

I think a good start is to find where women have their niche. Let’s pull all of those out.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Articles supporting point:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-women-earn-more-than-men/
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/14/why-more-women-are-working-in-the-us-than-men.html

Now, is the answer that women make more money than men? I felt like the weights needed to be balanced but is the future really female now? Are we moving towards that point? But one place where I could be happy about is if some jobs paid more to women while others paid more to men but where this becomes a problem is men that have a passion to be directors. Given it is not as much as a cut but it is a trend that could change in the future.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Women are more likely to be hired for a job. Given, there is an idea of women taking pay cuts but for the same job would a man willingly take a pay cut to get the same position offered vs not getting it all? Are men more likely to be in unemployment than women? I get it, we still have a long way to go in terms of jobs but the idea of diversity in the workplace is also on the rise and women are desired in companies to help with that image.

All this to say, is it simply just easier to be the female gender in this day and age?

Articles supporting point:
https://www.business2community.com/human-resources/why-you-should-hire-women-over-men-according-to-science-02287890
https://www.npr.org/2019/09/20/762056390/investors-may-prefer-companies-with-more-women-in-the-workforce

Where do I fit in with Female power?

It is an idea of great things and as noted at the start, “a smart feminist woman” things are clearly looking up and it is a sign of great things to come for women. Finally, a change to break off all the things that men have done to hold them back.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

Articles supporting point:
https://katiedejong.com/with-all-this-female-empowerment-whats-happening-to-the-men/
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/10/why-the-future-should-be-female-feature/

But in the midst of this, where does this leave men?

This is where I am at. I lay down and close my eyes imagining my female form and feeling freedom in that but the problem is, I have to open my eyes and see what is in front of me. In the midst of female empowerment what can men do to feel empowered and live an empowered life?

I am not saying to take away from female empowerment. But what can the male gender do to feel support and to feel special and acknowledged?

If these are the benefits that is means to be female, what are the benefits that means to be male?

It is honestly difficult for me at times to be in a male body, being a man with society expecting things I have to do and should do.

It is simple to just fully embrace manhood topics and avoid women all together like monks but I feel it is wrong to avoid the good feelings of femininity.

Where do I fit in with Female power?

I feel you can have a healthy side where you as your own gender accept part of the other gender. I don’t want to be simply placed inside of my male box that society wants to be put me into, a number of times without my choice. My issue is that I have fallen too far into the feminine side. Got too lost in day dreams of finally being welcomed and accepted, to be wanted and desired, to feel special and loved.

These are simple things that it is harder to see capable for a man to feel. With everything I’ve listed, it is not so much about ranting as the purpose of, how do men feel those same feelings I just described, as all my points, I hope have led to this same idea. To be, welcomed and accepted as a man, to be wanted and desired as a man, to feel special and loved as a man. What does that look like? Is any man capable of feeling this or is it only for the men that are the most desirable? To be simply subjected to Darwin's survival of the fittest.

It is a lot to read and process but overall, I want to get to the heart of the message of this my take. To not be a series of false points but the focus to be on what the points were leading to. To a positive outlook for both girls/women and guys/men.

Where do I fit in with Female power?
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