Some insights into being a woman

[Homicidal_Queen]

Many men dont understand the life of woman. I am going to give a glimpse into it. There are many pros and many cons into being a woman, I may miss some and some of these men may relate to.

Getting ready for a date

Women mostly feel pressured to look amazing. They take forever finding the correct clothes to wear. They wanna look good but not look as if they're trying to hard, when in realty they are trying very hard. It has to make them look hot but not slutty. Having to take all the time, then they have to do their make up. They then have to decide between natural, making it match or going without. If we make one mistake we have to completely redo it. Then we move on to hair. For those who have thin and straight hair, we have to find a way to style it, i.e. curling or braiding, depending on the outfit. For those of us like me with thick and/or curly hair, we have to tame it. Straightening it is usually what we go for if we have this hairstyle. Then the shoes. Heels? They may look amazing but extremely uncomfortable, plus we have to be careful when we walk and not let our knees bend. We can't even take them off without fear of our feet smelling or stepping in something. Boots don't go with all outfits so sometimes its not even an option. Sandals and flats are sometimes the best choice because they usually go great with the outfit and don't always hurt as much. Depending on the outfit, we have to shave everything, or else we may feel very self concious. We stress over the tiniest details especially if we like the person.

Periods

I know we may seem dramatic about our periods but most of the time, we're down playing it. Cramps can be so bad, it feels like knives in our uterus. Bloating makes us feel fatter than we may already feel. The hormone inbalance rises, causing us to be more emotional. Each girl is different when it comes to their periods. Sometimes the flow is real heavy, we have to change our pad or tampon many times during the day. Sometimes it's light, and only need one or two a day. They can last between 4 days and a week. Periods may cause sore boobs too, making them swell up and be tender to touch. If anything hits our breasts, it hurts like hell. Periods may also cause extreme headaches, like a hammer is pounding away in your skull. Not just headaches, also backaches. We just want to lay down and cry sometimes. Lets not foget we have to pay a lot of money for tampons, pads, midol/ibuprofen. If our period is a week or so late, even for us virgins, we worry we're pregnant. Also, when we sneeze, cough, or laugh too hard, we can feel the blood gushing out more. We can't wear white pants, leggings or anything tight. Usually we wear jeans or sweat pants.

Catcalling and sexual harassment

Keep in mind, I am not saying all men do this. If a woman looks nice and is walking down the street, "hey sexy" "Nice tits hottie" "Wanna come by my place?" Are all examples of cat calling. These are not compliments, these are unwanted come ons. Getting our ass's slapped or squeezed, even if we are wearing bottoms that show off our rear, is very unwanted and a form of sexual harassment. Some men don't realize that flirting, and continuing to flirt after she clearly rejects you, is a form of harassment. Women find men that cat call, to be douchebags, most of the time. I am not speaking for all women, it depends on the individual.

Body image

This may apply to most, if not all females. Society places many expectations. We get judged if we dont wear make up. We get judged if we do wear make up and some men believe when we wear make up it is for them or it is a 'lie'. If we have any fat on our bodies, we may feel very fat. If we're a little pudgy, we're considered fat. There's all this "real women have ____ bodies." Like no, incorrect.. There is no wrong way to HAVE a body. Us women get shit on for not having any self esteem, cause we're "fishing for compliements" or something. But if we're self confident then we're a cocky bitch. There is a difference between cocky and confident. We feel self concious about being too skinny, too fat, acne, our eyebrows, our noses, foreheads, eyes, lips, ears. If there is something about our body, we will find a flaw in it.

Pregnancy

This is a very big deal, as the hormones make you very emotional, irritable. We crave a certain food because the baby does. It makes our breasts swell and be very sore, it gives us back aches as there is a lot of weight on the front, and the baby pushes up against our spine sometimes. We have to deal with the baby possibly being unhealthy, dying or having something wrong with it. There is a lot of stress to deal with. Also, when we're delivering the baby, it stretches the vagina open causing immense pain. The contractions may feel as if there is a cement brick in our uterus and someone is just pulling at it, trying to pull it from our vagina. Pregnancy is one big ball of pain.

Relationships and dating

This is a very difficult thing to describe when it comes to women. I am going to go into as much detail as I can. I already explained how much effort it takes to get ready for a date. Well women become clingy, jealous, protective and attached. I speak for myself when I say that I will be jealous if I see another woman flirting with my boyfriend. I think every woman does but some handle it differently. Some, like I, would just insert myself into the conversation somehow. Others will be more direct and basically make the other woman back off in fear. When a girl is interested in someone, they may seem off-standish and kind of reserved. This may be for being self-consious, having trust issues or having been heart broken before. If a woman rejects the advances of a man she likes, those are usually the reasons why. (Atleast thats what I think why.) Women each have their own ways of dealing with their boyfriend (or girlfriend.) I'm gonna leave this alone now.

Hormones and emotions

We all react differently. Men (and lesbians), I advise you to tread carefully. Women are complicated in this department and although I would love to explain it to you, I can only speak for myself.

---

This is all I have for now. If I think of a lot more, I will make a second part to this, and I will...attempt to make one of these for men, from the views of a woman.

[Someonesmartt]

As a transgender, I experienced both side. I am male to female. When I come out, I felt period period period. I went to lady's room since people treat me as a woman, all I see was stack of tampons coming out of tampon collecting cynlinder because it's full. Ianage to look like a woman and all I get was being teased ;(. I can imagine how hard it is to go outside as a girl when she has period. I would recommend guys wear women's clothing and go outside u will know what she saying. But on the other hand, guys world is very hostile. Beside they are very emotional and hiding. Into experience they all are such a loser. Maybe they are weak emotionally but I won any battle against them making me so guilty. I was feminist but after beating up all men, men it's no fun

[Homicidal_Queen]

Wow I'm sorry but I'm glad you're being who you are.

[Someonesmartt]

Thank you

[Homicidal_Queen]

you're welcome :)

[Someonesmartt]

Women's clothing is so complicated and gives insecurity at any second just like you said. Men's wear is easssyyyy. And make up is mandatory, and feeling pressure to act like a lady oh my Gosh! I saw a man spitting because a girl wear little but slutty and a guy hit my ass while I was walking. I thought the same as other men before I wear women clothing that women judge each other and made this insecurity. But it's not that simple. It's totally wrong to think that way.

[Prof_Don]

As a guy that enjoys the primped up girly/feminine look of a woman fully dolled up... I do appreciate that effort to look that good, and I do my best to do the male equivalent (minus all the metrosexual stuff).

Although I will admit that i'm a bit metrosexual with my skin care; im anal about keeping my face looking clear. :)

[Homicidal_Queen]

don't include anal and face so close to each other lol
and no one cares, its just hygienic

[Prof_Don]

anal face!

[jessicorn]

you're anal what lol

[Anonymous]

Appreciate your post, but feel I should point out that: unless a male person is under 14 or so, they usually already know these things, and my take (not all men's) is that with respect to #1 (combined with societal expectations, #4), #3 and the last one:

#1+#4: Men (any with half a brain) know the great effort a lot of you make to look your best, but in reality (and research backs this up) for the most part Women dress either to compete with other women, or to feel good just to do it. When was the last time you ever heard of a man complain that this hot girl that asked him out failed to wear super-dressed-to-the-nines stuff, or forgot to wear makeup (sure some men insist on makeup, but most of us don't care). The social pressure you claim is caused by Hollywood movies, not from us real guys. For example the meme that men prefer blondes has been completely debunked, as survey after survey shows we prefer Black and Brown hair. Same for ultra-skinny looks being held up as the exemplar in fashion (designed mostly by gay men), when, in fact, most men prefer a little meat on the bones and C-cup average preference (not that I'm trying to get sexual, but I need you to see to what levels the views diverge - average guy vs. media meme.)

#3: Catcalls: I've never, nor have I personally known ANY man who has done that/seen them do it, or who thinks its ok. If you exclude the Alphas (who would never need that to be successful) and the guys too shy to approach or even smile or look you in the eye who never approach at all, what you get left, the guys who do that, is the "retarded construction worker" profile as the remaining 5% who think it's ok when it's not. I have often silently judged those men to be losers, a I personally prevented a rape once, just in case you think I would encourage anyone that thinks THAT's ok.

All people have hormones, and generally people also know that what you said for females is true but for men, our hormones make us do things too that distinguish our behavior, but I don't think women by-and-large know the specific things hormones require us to do compared with how all people know the cliche of the woman on her period vis vis emotionality. Besides, in her excellent book "Self-Made Man ", Nora Vincent, who passed herself off as a man for 18 months in a kind of social experiment, reports that she discovered the emotional bonds men seem to be denied by the societal meme that showing weakness in a man is, well weak.

[ThisDudeHere]

I will re-ask what one anonymous guy asked - why the makeup? You say it's for self confidence... but that can only come from positive attention from other people - you can't gain confidence out of the blue. But in that case why not improve yourselves as people and just visually? You said that people treat you better when you're wearing makeup but that's because they're expecting you to wear it because you don't protest to wearing it.

How would you feel if men wore thick heeled shoes for added height (like u), inserted some stuffingsaround our arms and abbs for added effect (like ur boob pads) and wore fake beards (a counter to ur makeup)?

I would look at men who'd do that as deceiving tricksters or liers. But then the question arrises - why do women get a free pass for all of that?

by the way Pretty weird how women are fighting against certain body images yet are not fighting against the expectation to wear makeup? Why? My unpopular opinion is that makeup is just a convenient way to present an upgraded but false image of one's self on the dating scene.

[Homicidal_Queen]

that's alright, we're not all going to agree. I would explain it to you but I am tired and don't feel like it lol

[ThisDudeHere]

But of course you are.

[Homicidal_Queen]

There is absolutely no reason to be rude.

[Thor696]

I think chicks need to lighten up on the "catcalling" complaints just a little. I mean... anything obscene is obviously off-limits but a compliment isn't a bad thing.

AND - men aren't the only ones who do these kinds of things. I am a bouncer (in one of my jobs) and get this all the time from girls.

"Whoa, can I touch your biceps?"

"Whoa, can I touch your chest?"

"Do you throw girls in the air when you FUCK them?" (Only got this once)

"I bet you get a lot, huh?"

"Will you send me a dick pic?" (Only got this once)

"Will you take your shirt off?"

In my other job - I travel overseas - sometimes to Norway and usually every year. I got two office chicks over there who HOWL at me when I drive by in my forklift if they are outside.

^^ Do I get upset at any of this stuff? No. Did I send that chick a dick pic? No - I told her... "No way!". Do I let girls who want to touch me... touch me? Sure - as long as it's not in "private" place. I'm not saying girls should let guys touch them - but come on, a whistle here... a howl there? Lighten up.

[Homicidal_Queen]

I did some things may also apply to men and I realize women do that too, I wasn't saying they didn't and usually men are more accepting of these than women are

[Thor696]

Okay... I'll give you that. There's a probably a "power" issue here. Clearly I know a girl isn't going to be able to force herself on me if I don't want her on me... so maybe that makes me more accepting of it when they do it.

[Tdieseler]

I knew all these already (you are very descriptive btw) but my question has always been..."So why make it OUR problem?" Guys don't have 90% of these problems but have to deal with it anyway.
Also, if you wear pants that expose your rear, touching it (which is rude when unwanted) technically is a guy showing that he likes the appeal so in a weird way, its a good thing. because if there wasn't any appeal, he won't even look at you/it, also, if you don't want that... here's a tip... DONT WEAR SOMETHING THAT SHOWS YOUR REAR lol.
I still laugh at girls that wear super tight super short dresses to clubs and spend every 5 seconds pulling it down, or maybe strapless dresses and every 5 secs pulling it up. I mean, seriously, you women dress up to look pretty right? TO WHO? you want to look better than the next girl... FOR WHO? men right? so why be offended when you DO get the attention?
Women are contradictory creatures (yup i said creatures), men understand what you go through but we also understand that you do too damn much. Half the stuff you do are not even necessary lol.

[Homicidal_Queen]

yea but most of the time it is for ourselves, i. e. to feel pretty, to feel better about ourselves. you don't understand that yea sometimes its cool getting a compliment from a dude for looking good but when another girl compliments our shoes, dresses, shirts, bottoms, we feel AMAZINGLY better about what we're wearing. Especially if it has pockets!

[Tdieseler]

I understand darling but you have to see this too..."... to feel pretty.." what is pretty? its just a standard, standard made up by OTHER people. My ex used to feel "pretty" with hella makeup on, I thought she was extremely pretty without that crap on... so who's right? Its all a competition between you girls, a competition you still play even if girls aren't even around. The reason why is still for attention... of men... which y'all make of point of acting like its unwarranted.

[Homicidal_Queen]

"perfection is in perception" its what THEY find pretty to be. and no it is not always for men. it depends on the individual. don't say every girl does cause I know for a fact that's incorrect

[Tdieseler]

Not every girl does ma'am, not every girl does everything the same way. but im saying, i find it a bit odd that women complain about having to take 2 hours to get ready, but fail to realize why. It would take less if they just didn't care and did the minimum. but they do the maximum... why? Perception. Perception of WHO? people... ESPECIALLY men. I mean, I like like a t-shirt and jeans, but many women like a man in a suit, so guess what, I sometimes wears suits. I can argue its because it makes me feel good, but the underlying reason is what i said earlier "... many women like a man in a suit.."
You can deny your underlying reason as much as you like, it doesn't change the real reason why.

[Homicidal_Queen]

don't you realize, some women DONT CARE nut they do it to feel good about THEMSELVES. why're you arguing with a 16 year old girl about this? you're not female and you know we're complicated as fuck but every female who commented on this agreed with me.

[Tdieseler]

you are right, I do know this lol you guys are frickin complicated. trying to simplify for you will just make what our back and forth has been all about... thats why I watch, then I laugh in the background.
Also, whether you are 16 or 50, doesn't matter... women are still complicated. but doing the maximum reduces with age, you'll see that when you hit mid 20's. you won't care as much for the stuff you care about now... trust me.. i know :)

[Homicidal_Queen]

I honestl don't give a fuck about many things now anyway.

[Tdieseler]

take a high five from me then, you are ready then lol.

[Homicidal_Queen]

hahaha thanks? xD

[Tdieseler]

Im loving the down votes im getting lol... my theory is that when I get down voted, especially by girls, thats I KNOW im doing/said something right... weird but true.
oh and ur welcome darling.

[Homicidal_Queen]

no its usually when we disagree lol sorry

[Tdieseler]

disagreeing with women is one of the least things that bother me. Females are crazy, and thats the bottom line. no sense arguing with crazy lol. For me anyway. No need for the apology.

[Homicidal_Queen]

"women are crazy, men are the reason why." is what my mom says but I disagree. I think we're all a little psycho. (including men)

[Tdieseler]

I don't know where your mom got that from... maybe its that craziness speaking, who knows. I side with you though... women DO come with crazy and men GO crazy because they've gotta deal with it lol.

[spuitkaas]

If I'm wearing a normal skinny jeans with a hoodie which does expose my rear, I don't want to be touched. You should see the difference between girls who do want attention and those who don't.

It is indeed not really your problem (except for the catcalling), but yes, men have to deal with it if they want to live with women.

[Tdieseler]

@spuitkaas I think I've had this convo before... and the underlying reason that women would rather take to the grave than admit.

[coconutelixir]

I was just thinking about this the other day :D How men really don't know how complicated it is to be a woman and how much effort, time, money, and craft goes into makeup, skincare, haircare, hair removal, eyebrow shaping, etc.

On the flip side, I don't think I know what it's like to be in a man's shoes either. We're always just assuming things about the opposite sex, it's nice you stopped to educate.

Great take!

[Homicidal_Queen]

thank you xD and I was gonna write another about mens lives but honestly I have no idea if its true or just assumptions and I didn't wanna get hate for writing something incorrectly.

[serp777]

Ugh this really seems like another justification to act like an asshole when hormones are raging. If a dude has raging hormones, then he needs to grow the fuck up and handle his emotion, but if a woman has raging hormones well then we need to respect the fact that she can get pissed off whenever it suits her. You know what's funny about women feeling the need to look perfect? Its mostly women who are judging and pressuring them. Most guys don't notice or don't care about the hours you spent on your hair and makeup. hardly anyone gives a shit and a lot of the time its so over the top that you look completely fake. i mean do you expect men to cater to all this bullshit? No. Im going to treat women like I treat every other human being--equally and by the same standard. Don't women want to be treated equally after all?

[Homicidal_Queen]

I think you're trying to over simplify this when it is quiet complicated, especially the self image. None of this was a 'justification' for our hormones, it was simply an explanation.

[serp777]

Well i thought you were implying that we should act differently when a woman is on her period or something; To be more forgiving, understanding, and not offensive at all. Well sorry, no, hormones to me are not an excuse to go rage at guys and it is not a fair excuse if you bitch your boyfriend out or whatever. It would be saying something horrible like "well a guy shouldn't be held accountable if he sexually assaults a girl because his hormones were going out of control!" No, that guy should get his ass thrown in jail.

[Homicidal_Queen]

but i wasn't saying that. every girl reacts differently due to hormones. hormones are not an excuse to be a bitch but they may affect the way a woman acts/reacts.

[Saydou]

i had always great respect for women, i always thought they were special, but this gave me more insight about what they go through, great take #BigRespect

[Homicidal_Queen]

thank you :)

[ShaeNielson]

Honestly the sexual harassment is really all about where you live. I live in Denmark, and I have never in my life been sexually harassed or catcalled in any way (in a normal setting, as in not including being out partying) neither have pretty much any of my friends and I have never seen it happen. Im not saying it doesn't happen, but the media often portrays it as if no women can step outside a door whitout being the subject of constant verbal and physical sexual harassment, which is simply untrue.

[Jager66]

Agreed.

[FatherJack]

The same reserved Northern European culture as here in the UK ( my native Nottingham was under Danish rule ) cat-calling NEVER happens here. Visited Aarhus many years back , with by then Dutch girlfriend , she called Denmark " De Tweede Nederland / the second Netherlands " as they are very similar countries in many respects ( architecture , people , even the languages sound very similar )... bit more expensive than NL , apart from property prices

[WhereAmI]

Don't you love when you spend all that time prepping for a date and the guy looks like he just jumped out of bed, threw on a t-shirt, jeans and ran a comb through his hair?

[Homicidal_Queen]

he probably did

[Nik1hil]

So how do we deal with a women, when she is so much emotional on period and angry and wants to fight?
Leaving her is worst choice,
Knifes in stomach OMG, a Nightmare, I do get sometimes feeling like that, it's supernatural, and I start scratching my stomach.
A great take, this where most guys screw up they don't know how to tolerate and manage things with a girl on period, and those understand it. Become man

[ConsultantIsBack]

Great writing!! Ya I was talking with one of my good friends and she was telling me about how she gets catcalled and essentially harassed every other day on the train. Jesus, the shit you ladies put up with.

[Homicidal_Queen]

lol ikr but guys do too, they just dont complain as much

[RedAmulet]

How can we call a woman attractive while making sure it's not considered creepy or cat-calling? Is it to do with how sexual the comment is?

Nice MyTake

[Homicidal_Queen]

Usually women may take it oddly if you randomly say "hey you look nice" or something like that. if you spark up a convo and compliment her looks itd be less weird. don't say the words sexy, hot, sex, dick, vagina etc

[RedAmulet]

Ok, how would you start a conversation? Just be like "Hi, how are you?" isn't that a bit random and strange?

[Homicidal_Queen]

Depends on where you're at.

[RedAmulet]

Can you give some examples of different places?

[Homicidal_Queen]

at a store- wait for an opportunity when they're alone and go up say "hi, you look amazing. have a good day." then walk away
-the bar obviously this is easier say "hi you look great, I love the *insert what you like*
It also depends on the woman so just take a risk, go up, introduce yourself, compliment them then walk away if theyre not going to/you don't want to carry on a conversation

[RedAmulet]

Ok, thanks for all the useful info :)

[spuitkaas]

Just don't do it out of the blue to random people. We don't do that to men either right? It's not necessary to hear from strangers on the streets that we look good.

[Anonymous]

I think women deal with periods really well. For the amount of pain that you girls go through, i never see any women letting it get the better of them and they just get on with it. I really admire that.

And also, you shouldn't feel any pressure to look your "best". Just be yourself.

[abundantlyrich]

Besides from the proper grooming, they spend big money to look good and feel better, the insecurity about their body parts and self esteem is a big issue and seems to be an everyday common mentality now.

[Anonymous]

i should give it to read to my ex... cuz he still dont know "much about periods" (from his own words)
also, i like to dress and have make-up for myself, to feel pretty and hate cat-calling, immediately want to dress less attractive, so annoying indeed

[Kirah]

As said before, catcalling is not exclusive to women.

Also no one is pressuring us women to "look perfect". I never wear makeup (and it shows), but most guys seem more relieved than anything, because I'm not "fake" (as they put it).

[DianaWest]

lol, good thing i don't care about half the things on this list or what society thinks. yes, i dress stylishly, and i am working to lose 10 more lbs. no, i don't wear makeup or style my hair or really care.

[Bonnie12I27I12]

i feel lucky lol. girls talk a lot about catcalling but it doesn't really happen in my area. the most a girl gets is "hey beautiful" and i personally dont mind it.

[Jager66]

I was going to type out a reply as to why this was so uninsightful. Was going ask why the entire thing only lists the most plainly obvious negative's of being a woman and none of the positives and why only the negatives of certain thing (like pregnancy) are listed.

Then I noticed you are only 16. Sure you could have been the exception to the rule and been an insightful beyond your years 16 year old but if that was true this take would have been a great deal different.

[TheDevilInside]

What are the positive things of pregnancy? Except for having a baby afterwards? Which not all women have the pleasure pf... sometimes babies are born stillborn.

[snoopybaron]

@TheDevilInside "What are the positive things of pregnancy?"

He wasn't referring to pregnancy, he meant, positive things about being a female in general. Dummy.

[Homicidal_Queen]

@snoopybaron in my honest opinion I don't find many things positive to being a female besides being able to be a mother

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

y'all can't really complain on looks. not because society cares more about it... that part sucks. it's simply because y'all got make up. if you are an ugly girl, you got make up. if you're an ugly dude, you're just ugly :D

[TheDevilInside]

@snoopybaron wow. Really? You're fucking 46 years old, calling a younger girl "dummy". Your mommy never teach you manners, DUMMY? Newbiw user also. I bet you're a troll returning after being banned. And i bet i've blocked your sorry ass before. He said " like pregnancy". Now Fuck off, dummy.

[snoopybaron]

@TheDevilInside "Really? You're fucking 46 years old, calling a younger girl "dummy".

Correct... So because you're 27 and female, your immune from criticism?

"Your mommy never teach you manners... Now Fuck off,"

lmao, Hypocrite Much? Loser

[Homicidal_Queen]

@snoopybaron I believe he was trying to make a point.

[snoopybaron]

You mean "she"? I'm only speaking to @TheDevilInside

[Homicidal_Queen]

@snoopybaron I meant she, I apologize. I was typing fast.

[snoopybaron]

She was condescending in her reply to your post, based on her failure to comprehend what you where saying. I would have corrected her without the "dummy" part, had I not detected her snotty tone. But based on her reply, she proved my suspicion and exposed herself for the rotten person that I thought she was! As you can tell by her angry, foul mouth.

On the other hand, I thought "your" original comment was a good one.

[Homicidal_Queen]

@snoopybaron I'm sorry you feel that way, I just really don't want people arguing over a silly MyTake on a website. Yes she could have been a lot better in her response but so could he have.

[snoopybaron]

"I don't find many things positive to being a female"

I'm sorry to hear that. I assure you there are many. I would think that your perspective comes from sadness (i. e., depression). The best advice I can give: You will have many choices in life, be very careful with them.

[Homicidal_Queen]

@snoopybaron Thank you but with time comes wisdom and I haven't experienced much of life besides many very negative situations. I know I will and I plan on it.

[Maxemeister]

WHEN I'M ON MY PERIOD, MY BOOBS HURT ALL THE TIME, TOO!

I'm way too shy to catcall