Would you feel bad with you were running errands for your partner but when you asked him/her for a favor they refused to help you?

[Anonymous]

Long story short I was helping my man for two days to run some errands and he did say "I couldn't have done it alone", a day later my custom made car plate frames arrived and I was so excited to instal them on asap and asked him to do it for me.
All I got was "Come on, now? Let's do it over the weekend in our country home instead in front of the building. But if it's so emergency for you I will do it".

I am not saying he owes me a favor but I feel the effort isn't equal and it bothers me. Car plates might be a stupid example but kinda enough to show the character's trait.

What is your opinion on it?

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

hey, i tell this as an amusing story... been with a guy for a couple of years and had major surgery on my hands, both, like a panda for a whole week.. in bed... i bought a drinks bladder with a tube because i couldnt even lift a cup... he filled it on the first day then i waited 3 days and he never even remembered.. he was moody he cooked and then proud of his brown air fried food.. he never ever rushed to get an inhaler if i was having a coughing fit.. he would never go back to the shop after work... anyways just before we spilt up, he said, I've felt like a nursemaid to you at times!!! well omg lol i kept my explosive reaction inside... processed it and decided this man has no clue to fair equal relationships, he vibed at a level that was entirely for self... see im a capable watcher.. because im an empath i know the possibility of souls, so i can forgive... a red flag for me is also the underhanded comments when they do something... my best friend an ex husband from childhood 90 percent built my summerhouse, i organised the buildings, moving etc and he put in ten percent input but sent photos and texts to his mum and daughter in the manner it was almost him... i was so stunned i kept it in to process.. i feel his fake ass image for his mother and daughter, bare faced lying to them, in front of me with no thoughts, so i had to accept he really really believed himself.. that level of effort was to him success.. there was a day where the ex dug all day by himself whilst he bimbled around.., so i have experienced for sure a partner almost in a different reality.. he worded your excitement as almost neurotic behaviour well if its an emergency! perhaps the way you pushed surprised him? did you give in to the weekend by chance?

[Anonymous]

Because the effort probably isn’t equal, you just make excuses for him each time, or try and make the good aspects matter more than the ones that really bother you.

[HawkPerception]

I agree with him here. If it's more ideal to get it done at another location and it's not a long time from now, then wait it out. But I don't like the way he phrased that last part "If it's an emergency, then I'll do it." He knows full well it's not an emergency and directed your answer.

In your position, I think something along the lines of "It's not an emergency, but I do want to get it done asap because I'm excited about it. Can you not understand that? And who was it that helped you with all you errands this week?"

It's not about being petty. Relationships are about reciprocation and you have to address that. Don't feel guilty about it.

[SotiCoto]

The thing with favours is that they can only happen with both participants' consent.
While it is appropriate to reciprocate, doing favours for someone that both agree to doesn't automatically entitle you to get favours in return that both of you don't agree to.

Also there is the other issue where I distinctly remember my grandmother always fell short: It doesn't count as a favour if it isn't requested in the first place. That is to say if you're volunteering your help unbidden, it is not appropriate to believe you are owed. He only owes you if he requested your help in the first place.

[Finchie40]

No, because doing favors for someone is from the kindness of your heart , you shouldn’t think about what’s in it for you? there is probably a bunch of things he does for you , that you easily overlook and don’t think about. Now if he flat out just said No to you? then it’s normal to feel like you do , but the fact that he didn’t say No to you , and asked if it was ok to put it on over the weekend instead? should of been an acceptable answer to you. Now when the weekend comes and he does t put it on for you or makes excuses not to put it on for you, Than you can get pissed at him lol

[Mr_twoface]

No, for me a relationship is all about loving you partner unconditionally and that means, if I’m helping my partner with errands, their should be no expectation that they should do the same when you demand it. In this regard, he kindly suggested to do it over the weekend but could ultimately do it now as well, if you so badly needed it. It only takes a few extra words to express your excitement and he would probably have done the work for you.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I can see both sides to that argument.
You clearly feel there was no effort on his side, but he never said no.
I would agree with him though, in the comfort of the country home where things are nice and peaceful, he can take his time and enjoy putting them on for you.

[Billlewis]

No, because all of my relationships are strictly one sided and one dimensional. I don't ask her for favors or to do chores, run errands, etc, because I'm only interested in doing those things for her.

[236color]

It's a simple thing. Yes it didn't have to be right then, but you wanted it and it was a 10 minute job, he should have done it.

[dustybiker2]

I would think you'd just do it yourself? Four screws.

[DrPepper12]

Yes. I ALWAYS ASK when leaving and before coming home if she wants something. She does not. It's frustrating and upsetting. tbh

[DreamLife7]

You're doing wifey things like a clown to a man who will never see you as good enough to wife. Get a brain and get a clue. You seem rather intellectually delayed

[itsclearlynicholas]

Hell yeah 😱😱😱🤨... I couldn't have a lover like that... vomits 🤮

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd dump a woman who I realised doesn't you know give and take 😄👀

[KrakenAttackin]

I was married for 18 years and I can count on one hand the times my ex ran an errand for me, and she complained every time.

[spartan55]

Wtf your boyfriend is a fucking lazy ass. Enjoy.

[slatyb]

Yes, bad enough to leave them.

[Ironic_Method]

Imagine leaving someone over something as petty as this.

[slatyb]

@Ironic_Method imagine refusing to do something as simple as that

[sheikalana]

I wouldn't feel bad I would be proper mad.

[noohair]

Your man?

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah.