My boyfriend has an immature sense of humor, how to deal with it?

[bjork]

We started our relationship about a month ago, and sometimes I feel like his jokes are annoying me, especially when we're with our friends. How would you deal with it if your boyfriend had an immature sense of humor?

[DishLady]

Well… if you pick an immature guy that’s what you’re going to get… and tbh there’s always about 10% “poop/cock/banana peel” (aka frat house) humor a guy hangs on to from childhood through to old age… so is he an immature guy or just 15% PCB humored? (There’s a difference, bc the first you can’t expect him to change, the second you can at least kindly ask him to limit to when he’s not in front of your friends and family.)


I have an example… two fully-grown Ivy League Educated medical directors of major hospitals… One came into an examination room and read off a file, asking the patient to spell the last name that was right there in front of him… The patient (who’s sitting there feeling unwell mind you) spells it out “ _ _ _…r-u-p-p” and the doctor represses a really obvious snort. Another doctor recommended that a patient refrain from dairy during allergy season, but used the phrase “cut the cheese” and couldn’t help laughing. (SIGH.)


On the one hand, this sort of thing is annoying. On the other hand, sometimes I find myself chuckling at how simple it is to make a guy laugh and unburden himself. Perhaps it’s not so bad to be 1-5% potty-humored.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

If you are in your 40's, I assume he's relatively close in age? You've been dating a month? Yeah, I don't think he'll grow up if he hasn't already. You can try to explain that you don't appreciate his immature humor, but he probably won't understand and will more than likely be offended, because it's kind of important for guys to be viewed by their girlfriend as funny.

I just don't think it will work out if you see him this way and here's why: You will not be able to respect him if you view him as immature, and you will begin to despise him after the excitement wears off. You don't have to tell him exactly why you are moving on, just start to ease out and tell him you don't feel like this is a good fit.

The reason I lean toward you ending it (if you can't work it out in a conversation) is because you seem to already be trying to adjust him to your preferences. You want him to stop being immature, but he's been making jokes like that for 20+ years probably. It's unrealistic to expect him to suddenly understand what an immature joke is. I think maybe look for someone who is a little closer to what you are looking for in a guy.

[Purpleronnie]

Hard to know exactly what you mean by an immature sense of humor but I’m gonna think it’s base humor or crude. It’s important to criticize positively here so “ you were not on form the other day , I’m sure your sense of humor is better than that?” Or “ those were token laughs you got the other day , you can do better than that surely?” Then positive remarks when he either lays it off or is actually better.
There is a few guys I’ve met like this , people laugh at them and not with them and they never pick up on it. You could even just bring it up on his delivery and “groan” at his attempt at being funny but not in a hurtful way of course

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

I mean, how immature are we talking? Is he like Curb Your Enthusiasm immature, or is he like boogers and farting immature?

Or is it just a matter of his sense of humor being different from yours?

Can you give an example of one of his jokes?

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the choppy waters of humor compatibility can be quite the adventure in love, can't it? Here's a thought: the key might just lie in a blend of gentle honesty and a splash of patience. Imagine, next time he launches one of those cringe-inducing jests, you lean in, sparkle in your eye, and say, "Babe, you're the king of my castle, but your jester jokes? They're storming the gates!" It's all about wrapping your feedback in the warmth of affection. Then, maybe, have a quiet, cozy chat away from the audience, where you share how you feel—keeping it light, yet honest. Remember, it's like mixing the perfect cocktail: one part love, one part laughter, and a little dash of 'let's grow together.' Who knows? Maybe you'll end up creating a whole new genre of humor together that's uniquely yours. 🌟 Love is the ultimate comedy club, after all!

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

You don't understand humor, and you don't understand love.

Up yours, Love Doctor Brad. Up yours.

[OlderAndWiser]

If he is anywhere near your age and he is immature, your options are to take it or leave it. He is not going to change for you, is he?

[Billlewis]

I actually think he might; she seems like a really great catch, and a person who has it together. If you're gonna change for a woman, make sure it's worth it. He's also getting on her nerves only a month into the relationship, so obviously that's not good, but I hope they can keep it going.

[blunty]

Dealing with a partner's immature sense of humor involves a few key steps:

Communicate Openly: Share how you feel about certain jokes using "I" statements, like "I feel [emotion] when you say [specific thing]."

Set Boundaries: Clearly express what types of humor are unacceptable to you.

Find Common Ground: Discover humor that both of you can enjoy together, such as certain comedy shows or movies.

Lead by Example: Introduce him to the humor you enjoy, which might influence his tastes over time.

Evaluate the Overall Impact: Consider how much his sense of humor affects your relationship and decide if it's something you can tolerate because of his other qualities.

Addressing these issues with patience can help both of you enjoy your relationship more, despite differences in humor.

[dustybiker2]

There is silliness snd then there is being inappropriate. If he can't tell the difference you are better off finding someone else. You won't change him. It's not really fair to ask him to. We all have quirks. Either partners make each other better or they hold each other back.


I myself release through humor and can be pretty silly online. But it doesn't reflect who I am in person or in social gatherings. A person must morph their humor or seriousness to the given situation.


In your case he just sounds in a different level of maturity. Or he uses his humor as a shield. Hard to say without witnessing it.

[molonski2]

You are 41 correct? So , I'm assuming he is comparable age , the guy is a fool , he is not going to change now , he's an adult , with not only a stupid sense of humour but far far more , this humour does not come out of thin air..

This means , he lacks social skills , and any decent thoughts. Get rid of him , not worth the time.

[HawkPerception]

Having a similar sense of humor is an important part of compatibility. If you're not finding him funny, then I hate to say it, but I doubt you guys will last.

Humor may seem like a small thing that can be overlooked in a relationship, but frustration can build up over time. Each time you don't find one of his jokes funny, you get turned off more from him. It correlates to every part of intimacy in a relationship.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The subtle way is to stop laughing when you’re alone and he jokes. He makes people laugh to seek validation, if your friends agree it’s not funny you can encourage them to not laugh as well. More directly you can tell him that you really don’t like his jokes and yes, they’re just jokes, but they make you uncomfortable and you don’t want to hear them when you’re around him.

[82lynx]

I have a lot more going for me than I used to, but I can still get good laughs out of “immature” jokes. If maturity means losing my sense of humour, I would rather lose her. No, not lose, get rid of her and get out of there like she’s a live grenade.

[DrPepper12]

That you don't care for middle school humor and that it makes him look silly. Tell him your just saying it because you care and value honesty. Since it's only a month old be vulnerable and ask if there's anything about you that SO finds weird or annoying

[Chazmatazz269]

Either learn to live with it or leave him. It’s not your right or your responsibility to demand someone change themselves to suit you. If you’re “annoyed” already, you’re probably not gonna last too long anyway. He doesn’t owe you anything.

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know humour is a big part of your personality. Have you talked to him about it? Maybe you two are just not meant to be.

[Billlewis]

If possible, try to get a few audio recordings of some of his 'greatest gaffes' and then play them back to him.

[At3mis24]

If it's teasing, you should break up with him! Teasing is insane!

[SongBird3]

Your in your 40s, what kind of humor are we talking?

[sheikalana]

It would tell him he's not funny as he thinks he is and is jokes are actually very annoying and a turn off.

[JacobJordan]

By getting a sense of a humor. You sound insufferable off just this small amount of information

[TommyMountainFigure]

Do your friends complain about his sense of humour too?

[laly520]

u can't make anyone change for u so u need to deal with it ig

[Emanon25]

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t change no need to stay with him, he should respect you even more in front of friends.

[SotiCoto]

Remove the stick from your rectum, perhaps?

[jahaims]

You aren't compatible with his personality. Humor is subjective.