Search Results: talking to an ex

Let's say the attraction is gone. Would you go back out of pity? (I am talking about marriages and LTR s that involve children and other things.)

This is about the recent ex I found out had a girlfriend the duration of our relationship and gave me an STI. I’ve been going to therapy trying to heal, he called me some hurtful things like a hoe and said I meant nothing so I left him alone after expressing how i felt. That was almost a month ago, now he started blowing my phone up telling me to pick up. I was annoyed and finally answered asking what did he want and he began accusing me of telling people about us and bothering him and his girlfriend.

I haven’t done anything and I saw the girlfriend followed me which I found weird so I told him no one is bothering your relationship and since I meant nothing why does my words matter. He told me well if you not then ok just leave me and my girlfriend alone. He said I liked and unliked and kept following and unfollowing her and told people we were exes. I just laughed but now I’m concerned on who is talking about me, and why the girlfriend is stalking/lying on me. I told him if he’s happy I’m happy since after finding out he cheated on her with me and gave an STI she’s still with him I didn’t care. I just want to understand why now…

We had been dating for 2 years and we live together. We haven’t discussed about what we were comfortable with and what not until now. We were talking about something and this came up.

This all happened before we met. He made out with a hot colleague. They never had sex and it was only because his ex was causing drama. He and his colleague decided to remain only friends. They don’t really work in the same department. They would hang out for lunch all the time. She now has a boyfriend and she knows he’s now with me. We are all working from home so they obviously don’t see. However, every now and then she would message him. In fact, he messaged her few days ago.

I am truly not comfortable with it. Had sex or not, they obviously find each other attractive. They made out and I am not comfortable with it. He doesn’t necessarily agree but he understands my perspective. It was never discussed but I am not comfortable with my partner keeping contact with exes/people you dated in the past. He respects me. He doesn’t care about keeping in contact with her, and he thinks the right to do is to cut her off. He won’t respond to her messages anymore. When they do go back to the office, he will reject her invitation to lunches or drinks after work.

I had no idea of her existence until today. I’m kind of not okay with how he never told me about her earlier. If let’s say they were meeting up alone, and I later found out he has been hanging out with a hot colleague who he made out with?… that would be a big problem. My boyfriend admitted he’s not good at communicating, and not someone who is an open book. You have to dig and ask. He just thought it should be fine. It also doesn’t make feel great.