Search Results: mess up a relationship

I'm not really sad anymore about the breakup, i reflect on the relationship and i can see some things that i didn't see when i was with him. I've wrote thank you and forgiving letters to myself about what he did. I've done a lot of grieving and self work on myself and learned a lot. We were only together for half a year. The breakup in a way was blindsided because i thought we could work on it but at the end he was an asshole. he asked me a question before if we were to take a break and told me were not taking a break or breaking up just to break up with me a few days later. I've come to notice talking to someone else and potentially having a relationship my walls are up and emotions are like frozen. I get excited about the new guy but then its like back to feeling nothing sometimes.

In the beginning he told me he wants to be there for me and be apart of my mess and we will get through anything just to have him breakup with me. Not work on something which ultimately would have more issues down the road so its good we broke up but i thought we could work on it if we really "loved each other". Addiction got the best of him and blindsided me in a way.

So in the beginning he reaasured me and told me he wanted to be apart of my mess, said we can work through anything. didn't give up so easily when i told him i dont think i was ready for a relationship. He still wanted to talk. He told me when he's leaving or there at his destination. On our first date he didn't break eye contact with me and smiled a lot.
He offered me to drive his car the first date, would give me his keys whenever we were in his car. Would wanna know when im home. Told me he loved me on the third date. He brought me a care package when we couldnt see each other. He was really patient and told me he loved me everyday. He was willing to buy me random things, brought my family chocolate. Bought my family and i an expensive item. We would video call for hours almost every day of the relationship. Near the end he wasn't putting much effort into the relationship. Even though we were no longer together he still wanted to know when i got home after he broke up with me.